Lessons from Below

As my son said, there is no age limit in learning. No matter what age you are, you can continue learning. In fact, learning should not stop after school graduation. I would like to add to that by saying, learning can happen everywhere; even when you are at the pit or your low point in life. Learning from below is actually, in my opinion, the best way to learn. Whatever you learn when you are at the lowest point in your life will be remembered better. It will leave a mark. Lessons learned from hitting an emotional and spiritual wall is painstaking and because of that these lessons are immortalized, cemented, ingrained in your heart and mind. Admit it or not, these situations and lessons have made you a better person.

Following are some of the lessons I’ve learned when I was at my emotional low.

You will find out who are your friends.

You are not at your best when you have problems - you sometimes can be rude and unreasonable. Only your true friends will understand your situation and your attitude and action. Your real friends will put up with you. The rest will take the exit door and forget they ever knew you.

Don’t just rely on others for help; help yourself.

Normally, we seek the help of other people when we encounter issues in our life.  We go to our family and friends to lift us out of the despair. But one thing I’ve learned is that when you are in an emotional pit, the best person and only person who can get you out of that pit is you. Sure, your family and friends can boost your morale but only you can deny or accept the emotional lift. So when you face an emotional low in your life, decide to get out of it; help yourself.

Get organized.

When you are at an emotional low of your life, it will help a lot if you get things in order and organized. Unclutter your environment; organize things at home and your finances. Doing so will help you reduce the number of things that occupy your mind. Having a physically orderly house also helps your mind to think neat and clean, helping you get out of your emotional low feeling. A clean and orderly house calms your mind and heart; it reduces stress.

Review your passion and priorities.

One of the best antidotes for an emotional low life is to revisit your passion and set your priorities. However, you need to simplify these to avoid being pressured. Learn to be contented with the simple things of life. This will surely lift you from your emotional low.

Focus at the end of the rainbow.

After the storm comes a rainbow. This is true if you set your heart into looking in the future with hope. Life is a journey and every journey has its lows and highs. There is no way but up after an emotional low. Focus to reaching your emotional high.

You become fearless after your emotional low episode.

After surviving your emotional low, you will have the ability to move forward when hit again by another problem in life. Experience is the best teacher. Your experience during your first emotional low may have been a slow walk or you may have even crawled your way away from the pit. On your next episode of an emotional low, it will be a walk in the park; you will be fearless and more adventurous in taking on the opportunities and challenges of life’s journey.

Words of Wisdom from Jack Ma

Jack Ma is the Bill Gates of Asia; he is a business magnate and a philanthropist. He is the founder and executive chairman of Alibaba Group, a conglomerate of internet based businesses. Jack Ma at present is the richest person in China.

1.   The world is changing every day.

Jack Ma said, "Please tell your children that the world is changing every day and no one is going to wait for you in the past. When the lighter was invented, matches slowly disappeared. When the calculator was created, abacus faded away. When digital camera was designed, the market for negative films dwindled. When direct market selling/internet-based selling arose, traditional marketing declined. When Smartphone with 4G (wireless internet access) was introduced to the world, you no longer need to turn on your computer at home. When WeChat and WhatsApp (mobile text/voice/video messaging) were developed, traditional text messaging became less popular as before. Let's not blame, ‘Who took over whose business.’ This happened only because people are more adjustable and adaptable to new ideas and changes in the world.”

The world keeps changing every day; I am inclined to believe that it is changing very fast in this generation that it did in the past.  I looked up to the owner of a local buy and sell tabloid because he ingeniously conceived the idea of printing his tabloid and giving it away to any takers. He earns from the advertisements from companies and individuals who would like to get their products and services to the reading public. Unfortunately, he did not respond to the threat of the internet. Instead of putting up a website to house the ads of his customers, he fought by discounting the cost of the advertisements. Soon, his business went into demise because people would rather go to the internet than read his paper. Enterprising businessmen reinvented his idea. Instead of a tabloid, they put up a website. This original buy and sell businessman could have survived the change if he transformed his idea and used a new platform. Instead of reacting and decreasing the cost of ad space, he could have transferred his business to the internet. He has already built the brand and has existing customers (advertisers and readers) while the new businessmen were just starting from scratch.

We must be sensitive to change and adapt to it very fast. Otherwise, we will find ourselves left out and our business will die.

2.   Don’t just watch.

Someone asked Jack Ma, "What is your secret for success?" He said, "Really simple...I am doing (action) while you're only watching."

Sometimes the best solution requires only a simple answer – do it; implement it. Don’t just watch the successful people get more success; work to achieve your own success. As soon as you have figured out what needs to be done, implement it immediately. Otherwise, someone else will do it.

3.   The most liked idea may not be a good idea.

I read that when Jack Ma does a brain storming session with his team, he does not get the idea that most of his team mates will vote on. He reasons that if most of the people want this idea then it is most likely that other businessmen are thinking of the same idea.

I hope these thoughts will help you as you evaluate your business and the challenges for 2016.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Persevere

Life on earth is a journey – it is short and can be unfair. Even when you feel mired in fear and sadness, you can persevere. Do not sulk into depression like lunatics do. You are not a lunatic, so don’t act like one. Life has different seasons. Don’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. Do something productive during the storm; if that is not possible, at least think of what you can learn from the storm. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.

Keep Busy

Frustration, desperation, and depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. You just want the pain, the hurt, and the negative feelings to dissipate so you think of intoxication and even fantasize of death. Don’t let this thought take over your mind.  To avoid thinking about these negative ideas, keep yourself busy. Think of the things that excite you so you can create a hobby or sports. Think of “do-it-yourself” gift projects for your kids, new ways to spend vacation without spending a lot of money; learn a new language, etc. Think of ways you can do to keep your mind from anxiety; keep busy and keep your brain occupied.

Monitor Your Mood
What triggers your anxiety? Monitor when your mood changes from happy to frustration. Do you feel irritated when you don’t get things done the way you want them to be done? Do you feel angry and blame people around you? Identify these mood swings and find a solution. For me the best correction to a negative mood swing behavior is to find peace in a quiet time of conversation with God.

Talk About It
If you can’t find someone to talk about what you are feeling, write it down. Sometimes, I would go to the internet and look for forums where I can talk about what I feel without worry of being found out. Just a word of caution, though, be very choosy should others reply with advice on your concerns.

Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Tell yourself “I will get better” several times until the feeling of anxiety disappears. Breathe deeply while speaking these words loudly. Put your arms across your chest; physically embracing and loving yourself.

You Are Not Alone
Though there is still the stigma against depressed people; it is more “natural” now than it was 50 years ago. More people can identify with you and more people have experienced being in the same situation and they have survived. They were able to overcome the frustration and they persevered, so can you. Some were homeless, jobless, divorced, hospitalized, yet they overcame these setbacks; they survived. You are no different; you too can persevere.

List Down Your Reasons for Persevering
My kids occupy the top of my list.  They are my more than enough reasons to get up and keep trying. I want to give them a better life, a better future and that makes me shake up my evil thoughts and invite good vibes to come into my life.

Disappointment

I am Ms. Planner. I plan a lot because I believe in the saying that the person who fails to plan, plans to fail. However, with the plans come disappointments. Making a plan is not an assurance that you will not fail… that you will not be disappointed. No human being has been spared of disappointment; disappointment is a fact of life. I admit it; I have had my share of severe disappointments that if I was not able to overcome could have devastated me and ruined my life. Actually, for a while my severe disappointment did take a toll on me. But thanks to my support system, I was able to see through that disappointment.

Just recently, I felt that I am on the road of disappointment again. I was so frustrated of my son’s lack of focus on his career. I am so afraid that if he doesn’t find the right path, it will destroy his entire life. I guess mothers fear more when the future of their kids is at stake.  

Today, I would like to share with you some tips on how to overcome disappointment.  This is my way of talking to myself and get that healing in the process.

Disappoint happens to everyone.
You are not alone. You may not know it but your neighbor could have or is suffering more disappointment than you are now experiencing. They have had losses and setbacks. Throw a pity party but don’t stay too long in the party. Grieve over your disappointment but get up and forgive those who have disappointed you and forgive yourself.

Do not compare yourself with other people.
When I look back and try to understand the root cause of my disappointment, I realize that my disappointment is more of pride. I compare myself to friends and family who I think are better off than me - have better spouses/partners, better off financially, better family, etc. I fail to count my blessings and accept that we are all unique individuals and lead different lives. Comparing yourself with other people will only increase your disappointment and decrease your contentment.

Change your focus.
Count your blessings and not your disappointments. You will be surprised to find out that you have more blessings than disappointments. Do not focus on the negative. You can’t turn back the hands of time but you can flip the chart to make your success story. Write down your feelings and be honest; be brutally honest. Vent if you have to because it is important to work through the emotions you are experiencing. Don’t hold back your emotions but be very choosy on whom to show your rant. If you can’t find a confidant who will help you and listen to you, it is better to just write your feelings. After ranting, focus on the positives. Recount them to your friend and write them down. This will help you keep your focus on the positive side of any disappointment.

When you fall down, pick yourself up and move forward.
Author Les Brown said, “Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.” It does not matter where you fell and how hard you fell; what is important is that you stood up, brushed yourself and moved on. Learn from your mistake.

Sometimes you need to adjust your expectations.
Moms always have high hopes for their children. Sometimes our children have different dreams and plans; probably such dreams are of a different level than yours.  Learn to accept and adjust your expectations.  After doing your best, be contented with the outcome. What is important is that you did your best. Be thankful and celebrate your achievements regardless of how small or big they are.

Dream again.

You may not have reached what you wanted but that should not stop you from dreaming again. Keep on dreaming and planning for what you believe is a good life. If you did not reach it through road 1, try another path; try another approach.

Never let disappointment derail you life. Do not crouch on disappointments because if you do, it could ruin your life. Accept disappointments to foolproof your life with happiness.

Depression Busters

We live in a fast-paced environment with changes happening at the blink of an eye. We are submerged into extreme expectation, living in a lightning rat race. No wonder, most of us are stressed and depressed. Depression if not immediately corrected can lead to serious psychological problems.

Most people fight depression with food. Psychologists have a lot of explanations about the connection of food to depression.  Regardless of the connection, using food as depression buster is counter-productive and counter-intuitive.  When people are depressed they are more likely to eat more and eat more of the unhealthy foods like junk food. This leads to being overweight and unhealthy.  Eating to overcome depression only results to gaining weight. Gaining weight only serves to intensify the depression and add to feelings of worthlessness.

Depression can be easily addressed by simple depression busters. Depression busters are designed to make us feel good and look good.

Sleep
Lack of sleep magnifies the effects of depression.  You need to get enough undisturbed sleep of about 6 to 8 hours each night. You need to sleep at the right time which is by 9 p.m. and until at least 5 a.m. which is the time when the body repairs itself. Sleeping beyond this time will not make you feel rested.  You also need to try at least 15-30 minutes of catnap during the day.

Meditate
Meditation reduces stress and helps us sleep better. When you meditate, you clear negative thoughts from your mind. Develop the habit of meditating for at least 10 minutes a day. Find a quiet place and sit down, close your eyes, take slow deep breathes and just shut your mind from the environment and stop thinking.

Eat Right
Eat the right kinds of food especially when your depression pushes you to devour food. Instead of junk food devour depression buster fruits and vegetables like apricots, broccoli, cantaloupe, carrots, peaches, blueberries, grapefruit, kiwi, oranges, and tomatoes.

Drink Right
Research says that dehydration can lead to depression. Remember, how bad you felt during a confrontation but felt better immediately after drinking water? Drink to a minimum 8 glasses of water a day. Water is not only a depression buster but for your health and good skin too.

Exercise
Exercising takes your mind off from worries. You don’t have to take strenuous exercises; 15 minutes daily walk in the park is good enough to make you feel better. When we are physically active our brain secretes endorphins, a chemical that makes us feel good.

Let the Light Shine
Whenever possible get your sunlight vitamin. Take your walks in the morning so that you get exposed to sunlight. An environment of sunshine takes the blues away.

Smile Regimen

You may not feel like smiling but just put on a smile. A smile will change your mood. Try smiling the moment you wake up. This will immediately condition your mind to tell you that you are happy. This is the body and mind connection. When you smile, the mind is conditioned to feelings of joy and happiness.

Wear Bright Colored Clothes
The clothes we wear can affect our mood. Dark clothing tends to increase the effects of depression. Color can stimulate positive feelings; red is a live and energy color. Buddhist monks do not wear orange robes without a reason. Orange and other vibrant colors create a vibrant energy field.

Prolonged stress can signify that depression may not be too far. Practice above simple steps to keep depression at bay in our depression-inducing environment.

Start Your Day Right

Have you experienced waking up in the morning feeling tired even after a good night sleep?  Well, we sometimes believe that we did have a good night sleep but if you evaluate your sleep it was more of a disturbed one instead of a calm sleep. Even if you did not have nightmares, your sleep could have been a disturbed and stressful sleep because before falling into sleep you couldn’t help thinking of your concerns during the day and the issues you will be facing the following day.

How can you start your day right? Most single moms are guilty of being able to start their day right. Their heads are reeling with things to do and they just want to get these done immediately upon waking up.  However, this attitude causes them to feel so tired even before they get to start anything.

Your alarm jolts you out of bed and the stress race begins with your routine hygiene, breakfast and then you speed out the door. This routine is exactly the reason why you pile yourself with so much stress every day. Learning to change this routine will help you start your day right.

I would like to suggest the following change in routine as it has helped me start my day right and because I started my day right, I accomplished more and was happier. Just add about 15 minutes to your daily routine and put this additional 15 minutes before your usual routine.

1. The moment you wake up, say a little prayer. Even if you don’t feel like doing it, thank God for another new day. Thank Him for the roof above your head, your job or business, the daily food, health, protection, the sunshine, whatever. Just give thanks.
2. Get into the habit of writing your thoughts.  Great ideas usually come out during the first minutes when you wake up. Just doodle; instead of drawing, write anything that crosses your mind. It could be about your dream, your plan for the day, your thoughts about your business, etc. Doodle thoughts actually calm your mind.
3.  Still seated on your bed, take deep breaths for a minute or two. Take them slowly,  smile, and embrace yourself as you take those slow deep breaths. This is good not only for your mind but for your body too. It slows down your heart beat, calms you and makes you feel good about yourself.
4. Now, get out of bed and open your windows to marvel at nature. During the summer, enjoy the chirping of the birds, the warm wind, and the sunshine. During winter, enjoy the sound of the falling snow.  Whatever it is find the time to enjoy nature.
5. You can now start with your usual routine of hygiene and breakfast. But before you do this, you need to turn on music. Choose calm and soothing music. It is best if it is instrumental. You will feel calm and rested as you continue your morning routine.

Starting your day right will help you be a happy person, accomplish more, be creative and innovative.

Empathy

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At helpingsinglemoms, we empathize because we know what it is like down there.

Whether it be emotional, physical and even financial, we help one another. PM me and let me know what area of your life you need help.

Share

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When you find something that is great, it is your obligation to share it. 

This 23 year old company is the answer to any struggling single mom.  Shop.com is not an MLM company but is a legitimate business venture.  PM me if you want more information on how you can build your own shop.com business.

Leadership Skills

Sometimes leadership skills can be learned from unexpected places and situations. Most of the single moms I know have developed their leadership skills during one of the lowest points in their lives. A number of them actually did not know that they can develop beyond being home makers.  Their situation pushed them to evaluate their innate abilities and develop their strengths. These moms who used to wipe faces and floors are now leaders in big corporations.  Some have put up their own small companies and can definitely be called excellent leaders in their own right. They’ve raised their kids alone providing for their kids’ emotional, financial and spiritual needs.

Once upon a time, there was a CEO (Chief Executive Officer) who asked his managers to visit a mental hospital for their leadership training. As expected, a number of his managers grumbled. They felt humiliated that their training would be done, of all places, in a mental hospital. They expected to go to a plush event place like a 5 star hotel or fly to a private resort for their training. They were skeptical that they will learn anything in the mental hospital environment. (Lesson number 1 – Leaders must have an open mind. There are nuggets of wisdom and ideas all around us; we just need to have an open mind to spot these ideas. Once spotted, a leader must have the courage to grab these ideas and use them.)

A kind security staff, Bill, showed them around. He showed the areas where the patients have their regular morning exercises, the cafeteria where some of the less problematic patients can personally go to eat, the treatment room, the entertainment room and the testing room. As they were passing the entertainment room, the managers heard shouts. The patients were shouting “13! 13! 13!” Curiously, one of the managers peeped into a hole. A patient poked his eye and the patients started shouting “14! 14! 14!”  (Lesson number 2 - Leaders must be curious to succeed. Curiously drives a leader to try a venture.  However, a leader must be prepared to accept failures and find humor in these failures.  Every failure is an opportunity to learn.)

After the tour was completed, one manager asked Bill, “Are they all sick and crazy loonies in here then?” Smart Bill replied, “Only the ones who fail the test.” “And what is the test?” asked the manager. Bill replied, “Remember the testing room? I showed you only the equipment that we use but I forgot to show you the final testing equipment which is a very simple tool but has never failed in spotting the sick and crazy loonies. In the final test, we show them a bath filled with water, a large bucket, a large cup and a spoon. We then ask them what the quickest way to empty the water in the bath would be.” The manager said, “What? That is quite simple. The ‘normal one’ knows it’s the bucket, right?” Bill smilingly replied, “No. Actually the normal ones say pull out the plug. Should I see if there is a bed free for you?” (Lesson number 3 – Leaders must go beyond the obvious especially when solving problems.  Don’t rely on the obvious or available tools; be creative in solving problems.) 

The Entrepreneur

Do you have the guts to become an entrepreneur? What makes an entrepreneur? Are entrepreneurs trained or are entrepreneurs born?

Before a doctor gives medication to his patient, he would interview his patient. He would ask what he feels and when does he have these complaints. If the patient is a first time patient, the doctor will require the patient’s medical history as well as that of his immediate family members. The doctor will be probing on the patient’s family health issues and his lifestyle that could possibly lead to his present health problem. At times the doctor will require a series of laboratory tests. After the interview and the tests, the doctor could then give specific drugs and therapies to cure the patient or may also give medications for the patient’s maintenance.

Similarly before an entrepreneur starts a business he will size up the market, interview some of his target market, check the competition, review his possible suppliers and so on. The entrepreneur will prepare a business plan and a marketing plan. He must follow certain steps before doing anything irrational that could lead to an unsuccessful business venture. Equally important to his planning stage is that an entrepreneur must be endowed with certain traits and characters that will enable him to persevere and have a vision for his business.

Entrepreneurship is collectively defined as a person’s vision and pursuit of that vision.  It means a passion or desire to achieve something; it means getting your butt out of that couch and stop day dreaming but work on your dream. Needless to say, each and every one of us can be entrepreneurs if we have that passion and good work habits. And to become a successful entrepreneur, one must exhibit the following traits:

Creativity – it is not just thinking outside the box but thinking way beyond the box. How can one develop creativity? You don’t always have to do the expensive market research; just spend time talking to consumers to know their needs and their frustrations on the products available in the market.  Having an inquisitive attitude will help you know in depth the needs of people and how you can meet those needs.

Optimism –sometimes your plan will not go in the way you envisioned it to be. Optimism is being able to see beyond the failure and frustration and learning from your mistakes. Optimism pushes you forward and closer to your goal.

Calculated Risk-taker - a successful entrepreneur takes risk but sets a limit to the risk he will be taking. He knows that if he doesn’t take the risk, he will not be able to know if such an endeavor will progress. He is not afraid of taking chances when opportunity strikes.

Energetic – always active, willing and able to do whatever it takes to get to the finish line. His energy extends beyond the Bundy clock as an entrepreneur’s work does not end as the day ends.

Committed – and entrepreneur is committed to his goal.  He is focused on what he wants to achieve and he does everything in his power to make his goal, his dream a reality. He is committed to his vision, his mission, to his employees and to his stakeholders.

 Strength of character –physically, mentally, socially and emotionally, an entrepreneur (leader) must possess the strength of character which means that he could handle tough situations during tough times.

Charismatic – intelligent and creative communication and interaction with people from all walks of life. A successful entrepreneur usually possess that certain magic glow in his eyes and can convey enchanting words in convincing power that no one can and dare to resist.

Innovative – a successful entrepreneur has his eyes on innovation. He looks for ways and means to be the first in everything, launching the first ever products or services. He stays above his game; he does not rest on his laurels but look for more ways to achieve more.

Nuggets of Wisdom

Children learn well when they see their parents live the wisdom that they are teaching them. We want our children to learn from every experience that they pass through in their life’s journey. Thus, they must watch us gain more wisdom as we ourselves face the challenges of life. Following are some of my favorite nuggets of wisdom that I speak to my children and do my best model to them.

You will go through coveting the hip toys, gadgets and branded stuff.  You will soon outgrow these because these are just stuff. You will realize that these stuff do not define you; these stuff are the result of ingenious marketing.

Enjoy every stage of your life. Don’t attempt to grow fast. Stop donning my clothes and shoes; don’t put on my make-up (though it can be funny, at times).  Enjoy your childhood because when you become an adult, tons of responsibilities may weigh you down.  At the moment, enjoy your carefree life.

Friends will come and go, though you feel that they are your everything. Friends may hurt you, but real friends will stick it out with you. So remember it may bruise when they hurt your feelings but those wounds will heal and you'll overcome.

All things will pass away except the word of God. Our children will face problems and frustrations as they grow up and mature. Problems will cause them to feel like it’s the end of the world. Remind them that this too will pass. Everything will get better soon. Remind them to go back to the word of God which tells them that they are loved and God has a perfect plan for them. Help them to turn those problems into challenges so that after their episode in the stormy sea they can spring board to a sunny hill.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; it is part of growing up. Mistakes just mean that you are living life. However, make sure that you learn from your every mistake. What is important is that when you fall down, you must rise up and try again till you get it right. Mistakes are part of your experiences and an experience is the best teacher.

Live and love life, warts and all. Never be afraid to love with all your heart. Yes, you may get hurt but you will not know the joys of love till you experience it. Never allow pessimism to consume your existence. Stay positive and embrace both the challenges and blessings that life may throw at you. Everything happens for a reason; today, you may feel sorry because you think what happened will not benefit you. Be optimistic because in the end, all these will make sense. God has a reason for everything; nothing happens at random because He has a plan and purpose in everything.

No matter what, do not give up on your dreams. Dreams are what keep us alive and kicking. Never let anyone or any circumstance cause you to give up your dreams. Dreams are for winners so you should never give up. When you meet a setback, re-evaluate the path you're taking and try things out in a different angle. Go back to your dream, strategize and re-create your plan.

Laughter is still the best medicine. When problems arise, find humor in it. Laughter will relax you and will give you peace of mind which will enable you to come up with solutions to whatever issue you may be facing.

Do not be afraid to speak your mind; every human being is entitled to this speak his mind. You are entitled to a freedom of thought and speech. Do not live in silence as this is not good for your health; speak up if you feel hurt. Be strong and no matter what, be yourself and express your thoughts and feelings. What matters is how you say it. If you don’t agree, say it in such a way that is not offending.  

Live each day like it’s your last. Don't let an opportunity get passed you because opportunity knocks only once and you only live once. Take up the challenge and be bold. Seize the day and be happy! 

Habits that Impair Our Personal Growth

We don’t want to admit it, but we have habits that impair our personal growth.

Habits are a result of influences, training, observation, and practice. Much as we want to, we only desire habits that would promote personal growth. But unfortunately and sometimes unknowingly, we develop some habits that impair our personal growth.

To improve our personal growth, we must learn to keep good habits and command bad habits to take a hike and not come back. However, getting rid of bad habits is not easy. Though getting rid of bad habits is not easy, it is also not impossible especially if our motivation is to improve our personal growth.

One of the bad habits that must take a hike is making excuses. People wander through life making excuses. Anytime a person sees something complicated, they will often make excuses why they cannot deal with the issue. “This is just the way I am”, is a common statement we hear. We may have even uttered this sentence in the past a number of times.  But if you desire to improve your life, you need to say, “This is something that hinders me from my goal; I have the power to change it!” Stop making excuses about the circumstances around you; stop blaming people, your country or even your family.

One of the keys to stop making excuses is to know the truth and tell the truth. When you know the truth, tell the truth and are committed to following the truth, you can commit to learning new behaviors and habits. Knowing the truth will help you commit to choosing a new habit. The numbers prove it, you are overweight. Yet you put-off taking measures to get you back in shape by making excuses that other people are heavier than you. But if you know the truth and are convinced by the truth, you must commit to do something about that truth to improve our personal life. The habit of daily exercises even for a only a few minutes will make a huge change not only to your physical health but more importantly to your character.

Another common bad habit is judging – either judging others or yourself. Instead of judging other people or yourself, commit to correct what you think is wrong and do your part in helping to make our world a better place.  Nagging and anger will not get you anywhere. Stop judging but keep helping.

Are you a pessimist? “I can’t change this. My life is full of nonsense, I can’t swing it anymore. Why me?”  Let Joy (from the Inside Out movie) rule in your mind instead of Fear, Anger, and Disgust.  Instead of saying life is full of nonsense; accept it as truth yet move ahead to make your life better. Why me is a common question, which no one knows why, yet we have to accept it, make better decisions and move ahead.

If you feel persecuted, ask yourself what you are doing that makes you feel this way. Do you have friends or family members weighing you down? If so, kick their butt down the road and make new friends. You have the power to make changes; you have the power to change yourself but you do not have the power to change other people. Therefore, focus only on that or those which you can change.

Bad habits are harder to kick out than good habits. Thus, you need to take baby steps to success. Too many times people try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration and the tendency to give up. Baby steps will help you improve a little at a time and brings you closer to kicking those bad habits that impair your personal growth.

Ask a friend or a family member to be your accountability partner; someone who will remind you that you are going out of your path to kicking out a habit. The light nudge will help you get back on track and your accountability partner is your cheerer boosting your morale to move on and succeed.

Innovation in Me

Innovation is the word of the new millennium.  Innovation is taken to mean not just technical innovation but personal innovation. To keep pace with the new world, we need to innovate ourselves.

Innovation is a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. There is power in innovation. Maybe you’re mesmerized by somebody's creative prowess and ingenuity; fret not, you too can create and innovate. It takes only time, concentration and desire to innovate. Everyone is born with a creative juice. The box of crayons in kindergarten was not only for the kids you possessed the talent or potential; it was for every kid in kindergarten because the truth is that everybody has potential.

Do you remember how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? The same is true with innovation. It takes a lot of practice and patience before this mind function comes easily when called and when it does it comes naturally. Bringing out those inherent creative juices from you takes time and prodding.

Don't listen to the negative things that people say. Follow the beat of your heart; follow your gut feel. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They most likely won't. If all the geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on your ideas. I don’t mean to tell you to quit your job and jump on to implement your idea. Rather, manage your time wisely so that you can spend time to grow and develop your ideas. 

Exercise, take a walk, run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins to clear and relax your mind and allow ideas to pop out from it.  

Dreams have meanings; record your dreams. Some dreams are just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of. In these crazy dreams are untapped innovative powers you have lying within. Make notes of your dream as these may just create an innovative spark in you.

Don’t copy or replicate; find your own style. It cannot be called an innovation if it was a mere adaptation of someone else’s work.  People will appreciate your innovation more when it is uniquely yours.

It doesn’t matter if you lack gadgets or tools. A masterpiece is produced not from the most expensive set of paints but from the most creative mind. You don't need some expensive fountain pen or a flashy laptop to write a best seller. J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue.

Innovation starts with passion. Why do you wake up in the morning? What keeps you going? What is your utmost desire? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Do you remember the hare and the tortoise? The tortoise won the race because he simply desires and worked to win. Ellen DeGeneres once said that if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it. When you want something so bad, you become virtually unstoppable. That, my friend, is passion. Passion will keep you going. 

Sometimes, you don’t even need inspiration. You can’t face inspiration; you can't force it. Inspiration will hit you when you least expect it; be always prepared. An idea could strike you on the subway and it will be unfortunate if you don’t have a sheet of paper to scribble down an idea that could change the world. Always have a pen and paper within your reach at all times.

I hope these tips helped perk up your creative juices. Above all, keep in mind that you are doing these things for your own satisfaction and not for anybody else's. Whether you like it or not, your innovation, personal or otherwise, will soon be noticed and everything would snowball from there.

Creating an Online Business

An online business is one of the best businesses that a single mom should consider. Funny, but it was in my most trying times that I discovered the internet and in the process was able to build not just one but a number of successful online businesses. Let me discuss with you two online venues/sites that you can look into when creating your online business.

Almost all business coaches would tell you that to be successful in your business venture you have to create a product or service that you are most interested in, are obsessed with or passionate about. This makes sense because if you love what you do, you would never feel like you are working at all. You just keep on doing it and will be very creative with your ideas and approach. Of course, as a single mom there is the added challenge of wanting your business to pick-up immediately because you need the money to support your family. Nevertheless, when I was putting up my businesses the ones that I am more passionate about were the ones that easily made money and looking back even during the hard times I did not feel the burden because I loved what I was doing.

I am not a techy person; the internet offers so many free tutorials and free website platforms that even an elementary kid can do. So creating a website that would serve a particular niche in the market is not difficult to do. The first thing you need to do is to make a little research to determine an underserved need in the market. Since this is your initial venture, do not go too far but just consider a possible need in your community. Observe the market, interview people casually; that is, just asking friends, neighbors and family members what they feel is a need they have which is not being served by the businesses in your area.  When you have confidently identified a product or service that you can deliver, start building a simple website. When you're building a website, you're going to want to find cheap keywords that you can use to promote your business as well as create good content. By creating the content and then creating back links between yourself and other websites, you'll be setting yourself up to have a high page rank with Google. By using AdWords to bring traffic to your website and then also developing your natural search engine traffic, you will have built yourself a very solid business.

The second avenue that you can consider after creating your own website is to use eBay. This is an area which was particularly hot several years ago and still remains a solid business proposition. Many people are able to make a full-time income on eBay. You can sell your own product but even if you don’t have your own product to sell, you can still earn money by using eBay. You will need to find a wholesaler where you can get products at a discount to sell on eBay. The general idea when working on selling on eBay is to find a drop shipper. A definition of a drop shipper is a wholesaler sells you a product and will ship the product to a customer. You will buy the product at the wholesale price and then make money on the difference between what you buy the product for and sell the product for on eBay. Using the wholesaler allows you to focus on selling the product without worrying about stocking the product. You do not need to worry about any sort of shipping or backend but you will want to make sure that everything gets sent out.

These are two basic ideas in creating an online business. There are many ways to make money on the Internet but these are two proven methods. You will not have to use a lot of money up front to create these particular online businesses and these businesses can be something that you will have great deal of success with.

Steps to Personal Improvement

 

 

No one is perfect such that he/she does not have to improve in any aspect of his/her life. The key to personal improvement and success is learning. When you learn about you, what you want, and what specific difficulties you want to change, you are on the road to improving your personal life.

Life is process that goes through problems, diagnosis and solutions. Re-live a time in your life; look back to see obstacles you went through and what you did to overcome those obstacles.  Were your decisions capable of helping you handle the problems? Did your decisions have good or bad consequences? If you made good decisions then, can you use those decisions now to fix problems?

Once you review your history of problem-solving tactics move on to evaluate your skills. What skills do you have that will help you improve your personal life? What skills can you develop that will guide you to a prosperous life? Do you need to continue school? Can you find a better job?

Unlock the Door to Personal Improvement

You need to unlock the doors to your personal improvement. You need to unlock the door to honesty.  When you are honest with yourself and others, it helps reduce emotional chaos. When a person lies, they live in denial, anger, misery and hopelessness; worst is they live in self pity. Stop the pity party and move on. Accept the truth that something or someone (yourself included) hindered you from achieving your goal.

For instance, you deny that you made a mistake in your decision that derailed your career goal. You keep telling yourself and the people around you that what you now have is what you want. This attitude will just keep you in your present position longer (and probably permanently and will forever be miserable) but if you accept the truth and work towards what you really desire then you can get back on track to your career path.

Are you addicted to sex, alcohol, and cigarettes? How about shopping, work, food? If you discover an addiction seek help. There are support groups, helpful resources including addiction clinics of all sorts that will offer you a hand. Never deal with addictions alone. This is also to say that you will also need to work on yourself to take control of your addictions. The key to success is accepting you have a problem. Honesty is the key that opens many doors. Once you accept you have an addiction, you will find it easier to get help.

Look Ahead

Look ahead and keep reminding yourself that you will soon get to where you envision to go. I love this quote though I can’t remember who wrote it “What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.” When you look ahead, you are visualizing your future. Visualization helps you to keep improving yourself so that you reach your objective. Steps, no matter how small, will get you towards your goal as long as you keep looking ahead and keeping focused to your objective.



Reach for the Stars

Do you have a dream?  Are you doing something to reach your dream or you simply lie down and dream about your dream? If you are doing the latter then for sure your dream will simply become a dream, not a reality. All dreams are valid; they can come true, they are possible as long as you work hard towards your dream. You need to be passionate about your dream; it must be in your mind 24/7 making you think of ways to reach it. You need to be intentional in your daily activities leading your every action a step closer to your dream. It's all about hard work and being intentional. And these always pay off.

How do you reach for the stars?

1. Work while waiting for your big break. Achieving your dream doesn’t happen overnight. While waiting for your dream to be a reality, you need to work hard for it. You need to plan for it so that every hard work you do leads you a step closer to your dream. To make sure you are ready for the big break, you must prepare yourself for it. For instance if your dream is be a well-known pianist you must practice not just daily but practice every time you have the opportunity to do so.  When the time comes that you are asked to perform before a huge audience you will be able to perfectly execute your piece without effort. Sometimes I see people playing the piano at shopping malls oblivious to the people around them. It doesn’t matter that people do not notice or care to listen to their music; they just do what they want to do. Who knows a famous musician might be passing by and will take notice.
2. Don’t put boundaries in what you can achieve. Your present situation does not determine your destination. Even if you are miles away from your dream, you can achieve it as long as you daily take steps toward your dream. Do not lose hope, but work purposely for your goal. There is no better example I can give you but single moms that I have been working with. Most of these single moms were battered wives. They were left penniless by ex-husbands. Having nothing but courage, hope and dreams these single moms single handedly cared for their children. They raised their children giving them their material needs but most especially unconditional love. These single moms dream was to prepare their children for success and they did it with passion, determination and courage. They did not look at their present circumstance but focused their attention to their dream. They pushed the boundaries, pressed on and have arrived at their dream destination.  
3. Do not be too busy to have a hobby. Most of us when we were entering the university, we chose the course that our parents or friends recommended only to find out that it is not what we wanted to do. If you land a job because of the course you have taken in the university, there is no shame to that.  You earn a living from your profession but that should not stop you from pursuing what you are more passionate about. I have a friend who took up dentistry. She put up a dental clinic after passing the board. Though her clinic was doing well, she felt that she enjoys baking cakes more than tinkering with the teeth of her patients. She considered baking as her hobby and enjoys sending cakes to friends and relatives until one day she decided to put up a bake shop near her dental clinic. She hired a dentist to help her in her clinic so she can spend more time in her bake shop where she doesn’t feel like she is working because she enjoys what she does. 
   

To reach for your star, commit your dream to God and ask for His divine direction as you work hard to get closer to that dream day by day.