Donkey Tale

Allow me to share with you a very old tale and remind you of its valuable life lesson.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey (People around us can be cruel).

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly (When faced with life issues we panic). Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up (Instead of crying and calling a pity party, we need to be clever and creative).

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life lesson: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. Never think that life can be fair... it is not. Issues will come when you least expect them. The trick to getting out of the well and out of your issues is to shake it off and take a step up. Treat each of the problems in life as a steppingstone to make you a better person. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Always remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive because if you don't you will carry the hatred in your heart, always feeling the pains of anger and bitterness.  Your opponent on the other hand may not even mind your situation or may not know your feelings.2. Free your mind from worries - Most of the things that you worry about never happens. Live one day at a time. Leave the tomorrow's worries tomorrow.3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. Be content and enjoy life; stop and smell the roses.4. Give more. It is better to give than to receive.5. Expect less from people but more from yourself. I will never forget the life statement my father has thought me - Do not expect people to do as you do so that you will not get frustrated.

When You Feel Like Quitting

Regardless of nationality or culture, being a single mom is one of the hardest jobs for a woman. Regardless of the reason of being a single mom, these ladies found themselves abandoned by the fathers. They are then forced to fend for themselves and for their children. Providing financially for their family is one thing but an equally heavy toll is raising a family alone (without the father).


A lot of times you will feel like quitting. You feel like throwing in the towel and leaving, but you know you can’t and you should not. What should you do when you feel like quitting?


When you feel like quitting, think about why you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t quit because you have mouths to feed and futures to make better. Think about your children and how you want them to grow up to be the best that they can be. Feel the love you have for them. This love will be your strength that will keep you going and forget about quitting no matter how difficult your situation may be.

When you feel like quitting think about your vision for your children. How do you want them to grow up? What do you want them to become. What is your dream for them? Having a clear vision of your dreams for your children will help you keep working towards that dream, that goal for your children.  You need to keep your focus on your objective so that you will have the strength to go on doing what you need to do for your children. Keeping your focus on your children’s future will be your energy to work for the financial needs of your children and it will be your energy to nurture and nourish your children with love, teaching them good values and encouraging them to be the best that they can be.

Triumph through persistence. You will encounter a lot of frustrations along the way, a ton of hardships but these should not derail you or cause you to weaken.  You will triumph through persistence. When you fall down, get up and keep going. Winston Churchill said, “If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous whack.” One of your hurdles will be financial needs. You tried several means to earn a living but failed. Do not be disheartened on your first attempt. Try something else and if that doesn't work, try another thing again. Just keep trying, keep working and soon you will come out of your financial problems. Learn from your failures and use these learnings to propel you to success.  We are blessed with internet technology that will allow you to work at several business opportunities while being at

home with your children (send me a message fadenew@gmail.com if you need more information on how this will work for you).

 

Do not accept your helplessness. As long as you are alive, you can never be helpless. There is a lot of help around – family, friends, community and most specially our loving heavenly Father, Jesus Christ. Keep that negative voice out of your head; you have a purpose and therefore, you will prevail

Getting a Good Night Sleep

I don’t know about you but sometimes I have difficulty getting a good night sleep.  Most single moms sleep only a few hours per night so we need that time to sleep soundly, rest our tired body and mind to prepare us for another challenging day.  Thus, I thought it wise to share the following tips that help me get that much needed rest in bed.

 Not getting a good night sleep adversely affects our morning routine and sometimes makes us grouchy.  Our pre-bedtime behavior and our sleeping environment can affect the quality of our sleep.

 

To have a good night sleep, avoid too much artificial lighting. We owe Thomas Edison one of the most important inventions of all time. However, his invention of the electric light bulb is detrimental to our sleep. As the sun sets, our body produces melatonin which makes us feel drowsy.  Exposure to light prevents our body to produce melatonin. When getting ready to sleep, dim your lights and reduce the amount of light coming into your room if you want to be asleep till the sun rises. Put heavy curtains in your room to prevent the sun from shining in your room.

 

Caffeine also affects melatonin production; avoid caffeinated drinks (especially coffee) six hours before the time you want to hit the sack.  Sugary drinks and chocolate don’t contain as much caffeine as coffee but I recommend not taking these a few hours before your desired sleep time.

 

Don’t exercise before bedtime.  While exercising in the mornings is a great way to keep fit, exercising before bedtime will make it harder for us to fall asleep. When we exercise before bedtime our body has to try to fight off the excess energy we've just given it, keeping us awake long into the night.

 

Going to bed very late may cause you to fail to sleep immediately and will reduce your chances of a good night rest.  Our deepest sleep happens in the first third of the night, with the length of our deep sleep depending on how early we go to bed. We go in and out of deep sleep during every 90-minute sleep cycle, but during the first third of the night our chance of experiencing deep sleep increases. Because of this, sleeping from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. often feels more refreshing than sleeping from 1:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. It is also at this time (10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m.) that our body heals itself. Studies say that sleeping at this time heals the body of heart and liver problems.

 

It is a common notion that alcohol will make us fall asleep. Alcohol will indeed cause you to feel drowsy but it doesn’t mean that you will have a good night sleep. Taking too much alcohol will cause you to wake up during the night and be prone to nightmares.

 

Taking a nap during the day is good for your health says a number of studies. However, taking too long a nap during the day can cause you to lose sleep at night. A 20-minute nap is recommended; I read somewhere that Albert Einstein would hold a pencil in his hand while seated on his chair to take a nap. He does this so that when the pencil falls down from his hand he would awake.

 

Have a good night sleep everyone J.

 

A Winner's Advantage

People say that the rich becomes richer and the winner just keeps on winning.  What do these people have in common that they just keep on being at the top of their game?

Nelson Mandela gives us a definition of a winner. He said, “A winner is a dreamer who never gives up”. A winner is not one who throws in the towel after losing a game.  For a winner, a lost fight just means the beginning of another dream. Winning is not just about being the number one; a winner may lose a battle but he can still be considered a winner because he extracted something from that experience and that learning experience will help him win the next battle. A winner thinks ahead; he keeps dreaming, planning his next course of action and implements the plan. A winner competes against himself; a winner strives to always improve himself.

These definitions of a winner bring us to the character advantage of a winner. What is this advantage that keeps winners on the top of their game, making it easier to just keep on winning? I would like to suggest the following advantages that winners have.

First, winners are learners. They intentionally discuss their mistakes in the hope of getting information on how they could improve.  They accept negative feedbacks and learn from these comments. Losers on the other hand are defensive. They hate comments and suggestions. They avoid feedbacks.

 

Winners are confident; they know that they can win as long as they continue to improve their craft. Because of this confidence, they view practicing and learning as tools to a positive outcome, not as a punishment. For athletes and musicians, practice means everything. Why do you think Michael Jordan is so good in basketball?  Is it just his physical attributes? He improved his body by lifting weights and eating the right food.  Moreover, he practiced 5 hours a day, 5 days a week even on offseason. Athletes spend bone breaking hours in the gym practicing and exercising. Musicians will keep on doing the same task over and over again till they perfect their piece.  If such practice does not result to winning, winners go back to practice, examining and improving many small processes and routines.

 

Winners focus; they keep their eye on their goal. Winners are determined to win; they don’t think otherwise. Losers often punish themselves; recreating their loss in their heads. They don’t move on; losers wallow on their failures. Winners have fewer distractions; they keep their mind on winning. For instance, gold pro Tiger Woods won nearly every championship because he kept his heart and mind in winning.

 

Winners are most often in good mood.  You would seldom catch them on a low emotion even when they lose.  They always have a positive perspective. Mood affects performance. High spirit produces physical energy and the resilience to persist after setbacks. Winners keep on playing to finish the game even when injured while losers use any form of excuse to stop. Winners exhibit certain “high”, certain adrenalin that is impossible to quench.  

Winners find solutions; losers resort to finger- pointing for their failures. Winners have high aspirations even after a loss. In a win, they would generously mention team support as one of the reasons why they won. Losers will most likely blame others even their team for a mediocre performance.

Happiness Is

There is this funny story about a Volkswagen owner and a Rolls Royce owner.  One day, while stopped at a red light signal the owner of a Volkswagen had a short talk with the Rolls Royce owner.  Here’s their small chat:

VO: "Hey, you got a phone in that Rolls?"
RRO: "Yes, of course I do."
VO: "I got one too... see?"
RRO:"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
VO: "You got a GPS?"
RRO:"Why, actually, yes, I do."
VO: "I do too! See? It’s right here!"

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here," replied the Volkswagen owner.

The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.  The Rolls owner is not about to be beaten.  He immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. As soon as the job was done, he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen. He finally finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up; though feeling a bit awkward the Rolls owner gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. The Volkswagen owner opens the window a crack and peeks out.

Rolls owner: "Hey, remember me?"
Volks owner: "Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?"
Rolls owner: "Check this out! I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
Volks owner: YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?

What is happiness? Is it being ahead of everybody? Is happiness the purpose of life? I would say it is. No one wants to live miserably. But what would make you happy?

In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and sadness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is. We think happiness is about being wealthy, pretty, having a successful career or business or being married.

I remember one of our pastors crack a joke while delivering a Sunday message.  He motioned to the singles and asked them if they would be happy to be “double” or married.  He said, “Don’t answer… ask the married people here if they are happy.”

We had a good laugh!

Happiness does not simply come from being wealthy, having a formal education, being physically attractive, having a successful career or even being married.  Happiness begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one’s own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life.  Happiness exists in the present as we face the challenges of daily life. Happiness exists when we are able to face life and its challenges with the right perspective.

A man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. He may still feel discontentment like the Rolls Royce owner who resists being outdone by the Volkswagen owner. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not financially well-off and is just living a simple life alone may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.

Happiness is in you.