Start Your Day Right

Have you experienced waking up in the morning feeling tired even after a good night sleep?  Well, we sometimes believe that we did have a good night sleep but if you evaluate your sleep it was more of a disturbed one instead of a calm sleep. Even if you did not have nightmares, your sleep could have been a disturbed and stressful sleep because before falling into sleep you couldn’t help thinking of your concerns during the day and the issues you will be facing the following day.

How can you start your day right? Most single moms are guilty of being able to start their day right. Their heads are reeling with things to do and they just want to get these done immediately upon waking up.  However, this attitude causes them to feel so tired even before they get to start anything.

Your alarm jolts you out of bed and the stress race begins with your routine hygiene, breakfast and then you speed out the door. This routine is exactly the reason why you pile yourself with so much stress every day. Learning to change this routine will help you start your day right.

I would like to suggest the following change in routine as it has helped me start my day right and because I started my day right, I accomplished more and was happier. Just add about 15 minutes to your daily routine and put this additional 15 minutes before your usual routine.

1. The moment you wake up, say a little prayer. Even if you don’t feel like doing it, thank God for another new day. Thank Him for the roof above your head, your job or business, the daily food, health, protection, the sunshine, whatever. Just give thanks.
2. Get into the habit of writing your thoughts.  Great ideas usually come out during the first minutes when you wake up. Just doodle; instead of drawing, write anything that crosses your mind. It could be about your dream, your plan for the day, your thoughts about your business, etc. Doodle thoughts actually calm your mind.
3.  Still seated on your bed, take deep breaths for a minute or two. Take them slowly,  smile, and embrace yourself as you take those slow deep breaths. This is good not only for your mind but for your body too. It slows down your heart beat, calms you and makes you feel good about yourself.
4. Now, get out of bed and open your windows to marvel at nature. During the summer, enjoy the chirping of the birds, the warm wind, and the sunshine. During winter, enjoy the sound of the falling snow.  Whatever it is find the time to enjoy nature.
5. You can now start with your usual routine of hygiene and breakfast. But before you do this, you need to turn on music. Choose calm and soothing music. It is best if it is instrumental. You will feel calm and rested as you continue your morning routine.

Starting your day right will help you be a happy person, accomplish more, be creative and innovative.

Empathy

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Leadership Skills

Sometimes leadership skills can be learned from unexpected places and situations. Most of the single moms I know have developed their leadership skills during one of the lowest points in their lives. A number of them actually did not know that they can develop beyond being home makers.  Their situation pushed them to evaluate their innate abilities and develop their strengths. These moms who used to wipe faces and floors are now leaders in big corporations.  Some have put up their own small companies and can definitely be called excellent leaders in their own right. They’ve raised their kids alone providing for their kids’ emotional, financial and spiritual needs.

Once upon a time, there was a CEO (Chief Executive Officer) who asked his managers to visit a mental hospital for their leadership training. As expected, a number of his managers grumbled. They felt humiliated that their training would be done, of all places, in a mental hospital. They expected to go to a plush event place like a 5 star hotel or fly to a private resort for their training. They were skeptical that they will learn anything in the mental hospital environment. (Lesson number 1 – Leaders must have an open mind. There are nuggets of wisdom and ideas all around us; we just need to have an open mind to spot these ideas. Once spotted, a leader must have the courage to grab these ideas and use them.)

A kind security staff, Bill, showed them around. He showed the areas where the patients have their regular morning exercises, the cafeteria where some of the less problematic patients can personally go to eat, the treatment room, the entertainment room and the testing room. As they were passing the entertainment room, the managers heard shouts. The patients were shouting “13! 13! 13!” Curiously, one of the managers peeped into a hole. A patient poked his eye and the patients started shouting “14! 14! 14!”  (Lesson number 2 - Leaders must be curious to succeed. Curiously drives a leader to try a venture.  However, a leader must be prepared to accept failures and find humor in these failures.  Every failure is an opportunity to learn.)

After the tour was completed, one manager asked Bill, “Are they all sick and crazy loonies in here then?” Smart Bill replied, “Only the ones who fail the test.” “And what is the test?” asked the manager. Bill replied, “Remember the testing room? I showed you only the equipment that we use but I forgot to show you the final testing equipment which is a very simple tool but has never failed in spotting the sick and crazy loonies. In the final test, we show them a bath filled with water, a large bucket, a large cup and a spoon. We then ask them what the quickest way to empty the water in the bath would be.” The manager said, “What? That is quite simple. The ‘normal one’ knows it’s the bucket, right?” Bill smilingly replied, “No. Actually the normal ones say pull out the plug. Should I see if there is a bed free for you?” (Lesson number 3 – Leaders must go beyond the obvious especially when solving problems.  Don’t rely on the obvious or available tools; be creative in solving problems.) 

The Entrepreneur

Do you have the guts to become an entrepreneur? What makes an entrepreneur? Are entrepreneurs trained or are entrepreneurs born?

Before a doctor gives medication to his patient, he would interview his patient. He would ask what he feels and when does he have these complaints. If the patient is a first time patient, the doctor will require the patient’s medical history as well as that of his immediate family members. The doctor will be probing on the patient’s family health issues and his lifestyle that could possibly lead to his present health problem. At times the doctor will require a series of laboratory tests. After the interview and the tests, the doctor could then give specific drugs and therapies to cure the patient or may also give medications for the patient’s maintenance.

Similarly before an entrepreneur starts a business he will size up the market, interview some of his target market, check the competition, review his possible suppliers and so on. The entrepreneur will prepare a business plan and a marketing plan. He must follow certain steps before doing anything irrational that could lead to an unsuccessful business venture. Equally important to his planning stage is that an entrepreneur must be endowed with certain traits and characters that will enable him to persevere and have a vision for his business.

Entrepreneurship is collectively defined as a person’s vision and pursuit of that vision.  It means a passion or desire to achieve something; it means getting your butt out of that couch and stop day dreaming but work on your dream. Needless to say, each and every one of us can be entrepreneurs if we have that passion and good work habits. And to become a successful entrepreneur, one must exhibit the following traits:

Creativity – it is not just thinking outside the box but thinking way beyond the box. How can one develop creativity? You don’t always have to do the expensive market research; just spend time talking to consumers to know their needs and their frustrations on the products available in the market.  Having an inquisitive attitude will help you know in depth the needs of people and how you can meet those needs.

Optimism –sometimes your plan will not go in the way you envisioned it to be. Optimism is being able to see beyond the failure and frustration and learning from your mistakes. Optimism pushes you forward and closer to your goal.

Calculated Risk-taker - a successful entrepreneur takes risk but sets a limit to the risk he will be taking. He knows that if he doesn’t take the risk, he will not be able to know if such an endeavor will progress. He is not afraid of taking chances when opportunity strikes.

Energetic – always active, willing and able to do whatever it takes to get to the finish line. His energy extends beyond the Bundy clock as an entrepreneur’s work does not end as the day ends.

Committed – and entrepreneur is committed to his goal.  He is focused on what he wants to achieve and he does everything in his power to make his goal, his dream a reality. He is committed to his vision, his mission, to his employees and to his stakeholders.

 Strength of character –physically, mentally, socially and emotionally, an entrepreneur (leader) must possess the strength of character which means that he could handle tough situations during tough times.

Charismatic – intelligent and creative communication and interaction with people from all walks of life. A successful entrepreneur usually possess that certain magic glow in his eyes and can convey enchanting words in convincing power that no one can and dare to resist.

Innovative – a successful entrepreneur has his eyes on innovation. He looks for ways and means to be the first in everything, launching the first ever products or services. He stays above his game; he does not rest on his laurels but look for more ways to achieve more.

Nuggets of Wisdom

Children learn well when they see their parents live the wisdom that they are teaching them. We want our children to learn from every experience that they pass through in their life’s journey. Thus, they must watch us gain more wisdom as we ourselves face the challenges of life. Following are some of my favorite nuggets of wisdom that I speak to my children and do my best model to them.

You will go through coveting the hip toys, gadgets and branded stuff.  You will soon outgrow these because these are just stuff. You will realize that these stuff do not define you; these stuff are the result of ingenious marketing.

Enjoy every stage of your life. Don’t attempt to grow fast. Stop donning my clothes and shoes; don’t put on my make-up (though it can be funny, at times).  Enjoy your childhood because when you become an adult, tons of responsibilities may weigh you down.  At the moment, enjoy your carefree life.

Friends will come and go, though you feel that they are your everything. Friends may hurt you, but real friends will stick it out with you. So remember it may bruise when they hurt your feelings but those wounds will heal and you'll overcome.

All things will pass away except the word of God. Our children will face problems and frustrations as they grow up and mature. Problems will cause them to feel like it’s the end of the world. Remind them that this too will pass. Everything will get better soon. Remind them to go back to the word of God which tells them that they are loved and God has a perfect plan for them. Help them to turn those problems into challenges so that after their episode in the stormy sea they can spring board to a sunny hill.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes; it is part of growing up. Mistakes just mean that you are living life. However, make sure that you learn from your every mistake. What is important is that when you fall down, you must rise up and try again till you get it right. Mistakes are part of your experiences and an experience is the best teacher.

Live and love life, warts and all. Never be afraid to love with all your heart. Yes, you may get hurt but you will not know the joys of love till you experience it. Never allow pessimism to consume your existence. Stay positive and embrace both the challenges and blessings that life may throw at you. Everything happens for a reason; today, you may feel sorry because you think what happened will not benefit you. Be optimistic because in the end, all these will make sense. God has a reason for everything; nothing happens at random because He has a plan and purpose in everything.

No matter what, do not give up on your dreams. Dreams are what keep us alive and kicking. Never let anyone or any circumstance cause you to give up your dreams. Dreams are for winners so you should never give up. When you meet a setback, re-evaluate the path you're taking and try things out in a different angle. Go back to your dream, strategize and re-create your plan.

Laughter is still the best medicine. When problems arise, find humor in it. Laughter will relax you and will give you peace of mind which will enable you to come up with solutions to whatever issue you may be facing.

Do not be afraid to speak your mind; every human being is entitled to this speak his mind. You are entitled to a freedom of thought and speech. Do not live in silence as this is not good for your health; speak up if you feel hurt. Be strong and no matter what, be yourself and express your thoughts and feelings. What matters is how you say it. If you don’t agree, say it in such a way that is not offending.  

Live each day like it’s your last. Don't let an opportunity get passed you because opportunity knocks only once and you only live once. Take up the challenge and be bold. Seize the day and be happy! 

Habits that Impair Our Personal Growth

We don’t want to admit it, but we have habits that impair our personal growth.

Habits are a result of influences, training, observation, and practice. Much as we want to, we only desire habits that would promote personal growth. But unfortunately and sometimes unknowingly, we develop some habits that impair our personal growth.

To improve our personal growth, we must learn to keep good habits and command bad habits to take a hike and not come back. However, getting rid of bad habits is not easy. Though getting rid of bad habits is not easy, it is also not impossible especially if our motivation is to improve our personal growth.

One of the bad habits that must take a hike is making excuses. People wander through life making excuses. Anytime a person sees something complicated, they will often make excuses why they cannot deal with the issue. “This is just the way I am”, is a common statement we hear. We may have even uttered this sentence in the past a number of times.  But if you desire to improve your life, you need to say, “This is something that hinders me from my goal; I have the power to change it!” Stop making excuses about the circumstances around you; stop blaming people, your country or even your family.

One of the keys to stop making excuses is to know the truth and tell the truth. When you know the truth, tell the truth and are committed to following the truth, you can commit to learning new behaviors and habits. Knowing the truth will help you commit to choosing a new habit. The numbers prove it, you are overweight. Yet you put-off taking measures to get you back in shape by making excuses that other people are heavier than you. But if you know the truth and are convinced by the truth, you must commit to do something about that truth to improve our personal life. The habit of daily exercises even for a only a few minutes will make a huge change not only to your physical health but more importantly to your character.

Another common bad habit is judging – either judging others or yourself. Instead of judging other people or yourself, commit to correct what you think is wrong and do your part in helping to make our world a better place.  Nagging and anger will not get you anywhere. Stop judging but keep helping.

Are you a pessimist? “I can’t change this. My life is full of nonsense, I can’t swing it anymore. Why me?”  Let Joy (from the Inside Out movie) rule in your mind instead of Fear, Anger, and Disgust.  Instead of saying life is full of nonsense; accept it as truth yet move ahead to make your life better. Why me is a common question, which no one knows why, yet we have to accept it, make better decisions and move ahead.

If you feel persecuted, ask yourself what you are doing that makes you feel this way. Do you have friends or family members weighing you down? If so, kick their butt down the road and make new friends. You have the power to make changes; you have the power to change yourself but you do not have the power to change other people. Therefore, focus only on that or those which you can change.

Bad habits are harder to kick out than good habits. Thus, you need to take baby steps to success. Too many times people try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration and the tendency to give up. Baby steps will help you improve a little at a time and brings you closer to kicking those bad habits that impair your personal growth.

Ask a friend or a family member to be your accountability partner; someone who will remind you that you are going out of your path to kicking out a habit. The light nudge will help you get back on track and your accountability partner is your cheerer boosting your morale to move on and succeed.