From John Maxwell Company

How to Get More Than Easy Answers and Half-Baked Solutions:

3 Things Martin Luther King, Jr. Taught Us About Thinking

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Easy answers and half-baked solutions. How often are these really effective? A MacGyver-style fix usually works in the moment, but not forever. And split-second decisions often cause regrets. A little duct tape on this, a quick patch on that and we move ahead to the next project. It's definitely easier to just check off a task instead of giving ourselves the time necessary for planning and solid thinking.

John C. Maxwell says, successful people think differently than unsuccessful people. And, if you are willing to change your thinking, you can change your feelings, you can change your actions, and ultimately, you can change your life.

As we approach Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, we reflect on a great man and a great thinker. He was not the kind of man to glaze over the details or take short cuts. He modeled solid, vision-driven thinking and because of that, he created a remarkable legacy.

As we celebrate the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr., we reflect on three aspects of his skilled thinking that made him a successful leader. And, they are skills you can implement, too. These three methods of skilled thinking can help you discover new ways to consider the challenges and obstacles you face in your own leadership.

1. Strategic Thinking

What is needed is a strategy for change, a tactical program that will bring the Negro into the mainstream of American life as quickly as possible. - MLK

King knew hope wasn't a strategy. Having been denied their rights for the entirety of United States'
history, African-Americans could not expect change by working through the usual political
channels. The quest for racial equality would require radical activism. As King noted, "Freedom is never
voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."
Inspired by the Montgomery bus boycott, King conceived a national strategy of widespread noncooperation
to challenge racist institutions.

In your leadership and personal life, you're responsible for doing the homework and planning the strategy for achieving your vision. It's not enough to hope for change or hope you reach your potential. Approaching your leadership with a strategy is the first step to success.

2. Uncommon Thinking

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, 'When will you be satisfied?' We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating: For Whites Only. We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. - MLK

When King said these words during his "I Have a Dream" speech, he was speaking out against a life-long prejudice that for hundreds of years was a cultural norm in the United States. What he said that day was radical, hard to imagine, and vastly different than any system the American public was familiar with. As a leader, he was courageous enough to share his uncommon, unpopular thinking. And, as a leader today, it's your job to inspire followers with the future and provide motivation day-by-day.

This means that the people in your organization must be able to look toward both the future and the present. They need to know where they’ll eventually be and what to do every day to get there. It’s your job to articulate an inspiring vision for the future and make sure everyone in the organization does the right things in the present to get you there.

 3. Big-Picture Thinking

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. - MLK

To be an inspirational leader, you must adopt an attitude of service toward those you lead. This requires laying aside selfish interests to add value to another person. When you serve, you awaken something magnetic inside of you. People are drawn to follow you because they know you'll find ways to make them better.

Having a vision, strategy and dream for your leadership will be key to the success of your 2016 goals. But, it all starts with solid, skilled thinking.

Legacy leaders like King show us the way and give us the inspiration to act. But, in order to carry this out in your own leadership, you need a plan.

How to Achieve Your Goals, part 2

You may not admit it that though you have told yourself that you will refrain from setting goals or New Year’s resolutions, you have unconsciously done some re-thinking. You will stay healthy; no more sugar, no more to couch potato, no more late nights, no more working on weekends, etc.  You don’t want to admit that you have set some goals for fear of not achieving them.

At the start of the New Year, you are very motivated to do all that you have set yourself to do. After a few weeks of success and seeing the results, you tend to be complacent and decide to reward yourself. You sit down and watch a new Netflix series over a dessert of cupcake. Before you know it, you are back into your old self, back to your old habits.

Frustration and disappointment made you to tell yourself, you will never change. You will never achieve your goals.

Why is it that some people are able to achieve their goals? What is their secret?

The secret to achieving goals lies in the brain. As the adage says, “It is all in the mind.” The secret to achieving your goals lies on how you are thinking.  Studies reveal that we can train our brains. We have control over the signals in our brain that affect our thinking. We can make our brain think and follow what we intend to do.

Follow these 4 thinking strategies (adapted from Mari Selby, Jump Start Your Motivation, Forbes Magazine, 2014.) to help you achieve your goals this year.

1.  Focus your attention to your goals. Keep your mind set on the “do it” signals. The more you focus on your goal and what you should do to achieve it, the more likely you are to move and win over de-motivating thoughts.
2. Focus on the benefits of your goal. You must be clear on the benefits of your goal. Knowing the benefits of what you hope to achieve will generate stronger positive thoughts. What will you gain by being physically healthy? Is it long life, ease of movement, look physically beautiful? Do you want all of these benefits? Then you need to work and do the necessary to achieve your goal.
3. Visualize the effect of your goal; think of it happening. The power of visualization and positive thinking will propel you mind to make your body work towards your goal. You will increase activity in the reward-related areas of your brain and reduce activity in areas that might otherwise slow you down with doubts against your capability to achieve what you desire and fear of failure or concern over the difficulty of the task.
4. Do more of “random acts of kindness”. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, or endorphin, which is linked to motivation. Studies say that endorphins are enhanced and increased with altruistic or selfless behavior. Therefore, acts of kindness are a motivation in themselves.  As we act more kindly and think of ourselves less, endorphins or motivating chemical in our brains increases. As motivation increases, the more likely we are to achieve our goals.

If you haven’t tried this thinking strategy, why not try it this year? It could be your key to finally achieving your goals. 

How to Achieve Your Goals for the New Year

A blessed New Year everyone.  I know we all had a long and well deserved holiday. For most of us, apart from all the parties and fun, we used the non-working days to reflect on the past year and to set our goals for the New Year. New Year’s resolutions are very common and are always the talk of the town at this time of the year. New Year’s resolutions are always (according to surveys) broken by the end of January. But how can you truly achieve your goals for the New Year?

Give time to set your goals.
I have a friend who stopped setting goals because according to her, she easily breaks them anyway. I guess the problem is that as easily as she sets her goals, the easier she breaks them. Goals must be carefully thought of. I love the acronym SMART when setting goals. That is, goals must be specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, and time bounded. Attainable and realistic does not mean that you set small goals to ensure that you can achieve them. Rather, attainable and realistic means that your goals must be something that you have the capacity to achieve because you have the skills and the means to reach them. Keep in mind that you set goals so that you reach the next level of your life; goals are set to improve your life.

Write down your goals.
Because of the consistency that you miss out on your goals every year you’ve decided not to write down your goals. This actually is the exact reason why you will not achieve your goals. Not writing them down will cause your mind and body to pay less attention to your goals. You become less committed and this is the start of failure. When you don’t write down your goals you actually allow fear to take control. Fear of failure can cripple us into inaction, keeping us right where we are at and never achieving where we want to be. Take control of your fear and doubts; take action and you will achieve what you have set your heart and mind to do for the year.

Break down the deadline of your goal.
Don’t say that you will lose 50 pounds within 12 months. Rather, break this down into monthly goals so that you are able to check and review your progress.  If you are not achieving what you have set for a few months (or quarter), analyze what you need to change. You should not change your goal but you should change your strategy. Probably, you need to diet apart from regular exercise to achieve the weight you desire. Breaking down your goals into small steps will help you achieve your year-end goal.

Rinse and repeat.
When you have found the right strategy to achieve your goals for the year, rinse and repeat. Do not be lazy because you will need energy to achieve your goals. Do not be complacent that you have found the strategy and that such is working well for the past few months. Repeat the strategy and review again after another month or quarter depending on your need.

Here’s to ensuring you will achieve your goals for this year and beyond. Have a blessed New Year.

Lessons from Below

As my son said, there is no age limit in learning. No matter what age you are, you can continue learning. In fact, learning should not stop after school graduation. I would like to add to that by saying, learning can happen everywhere; even when you are at the pit or your low point in life. Learning from below is actually, in my opinion, the best way to learn. Whatever you learn when you are at the lowest point in your life will be remembered better. It will leave a mark. Lessons learned from hitting an emotional and spiritual wall is painstaking and because of that these lessons are immortalized, cemented, ingrained in your heart and mind. Admit it or not, these situations and lessons have made you a better person.

Following are some of the lessons I’ve learned when I was at my emotional low.

You will find out who are your friends.

You are not at your best when you have problems - you sometimes can be rude and unreasonable. Only your true friends will understand your situation and your attitude and action. Your real friends will put up with you. The rest will take the exit door and forget they ever knew you.

Don’t just rely on others for help; help yourself.

Normally, we seek the help of other people when we encounter issues in our life.  We go to our family and friends to lift us out of the despair. But one thing I’ve learned is that when you are in an emotional pit, the best person and only person who can get you out of that pit is you. Sure, your family and friends can boost your morale but only you can deny or accept the emotional lift. So when you face an emotional low in your life, decide to get out of it; help yourself.

Get organized.

When you are at an emotional low of your life, it will help a lot if you get things in order and organized. Unclutter your environment; organize things at home and your finances. Doing so will help you reduce the number of things that occupy your mind. Having a physically orderly house also helps your mind to think neat and clean, helping you get out of your emotional low feeling. A clean and orderly house calms your mind and heart; it reduces stress.

Review your passion and priorities.

One of the best antidotes for an emotional low life is to revisit your passion and set your priorities. However, you need to simplify these to avoid being pressured. Learn to be contented with the simple things of life. This will surely lift you from your emotional low.

Focus at the end of the rainbow.

After the storm comes a rainbow. This is true if you set your heart into looking in the future with hope. Life is a journey and every journey has its lows and highs. There is no way but up after an emotional low. Focus to reaching your emotional high.

You become fearless after your emotional low episode.

After surviving your emotional low, you will have the ability to move forward when hit again by another problem in life. Experience is the best teacher. Your experience during your first emotional low may have been a slow walk or you may have even crawled your way away from the pit. On your next episode of an emotional low, it will be a walk in the park; you will be fearless and more adventurous in taking on the opportunities and challenges of life’s journey.

Words of Wisdom from Jack Ma

Jack Ma is the Bill Gates of Asia; he is a business magnate and a philanthropist. He is the founder and executive chairman of Alibaba Group, a conglomerate of internet based businesses. Jack Ma at present is the richest person in China.

1.   The world is changing every day.

Jack Ma said, "Please tell your children that the world is changing every day and no one is going to wait for you in the past. When the lighter was invented, matches slowly disappeared. When the calculator was created, abacus faded away. When digital camera was designed, the market for negative films dwindled. When direct market selling/internet-based selling arose, traditional marketing declined. When Smartphone with 4G (wireless internet access) was introduced to the world, you no longer need to turn on your computer at home. When WeChat and WhatsApp (mobile text/voice/video messaging) were developed, traditional text messaging became less popular as before. Let's not blame, ‘Who took over whose business.’ This happened only because people are more adjustable and adaptable to new ideas and changes in the world.”

The world keeps changing every day; I am inclined to believe that it is changing very fast in this generation that it did in the past.  I looked up to the owner of a local buy and sell tabloid because he ingeniously conceived the idea of printing his tabloid and giving it away to any takers. He earns from the advertisements from companies and individuals who would like to get their products and services to the reading public. Unfortunately, he did not respond to the threat of the internet. Instead of putting up a website to house the ads of his customers, he fought by discounting the cost of the advertisements. Soon, his business went into demise because people would rather go to the internet than read his paper. Enterprising businessmen reinvented his idea. Instead of a tabloid, they put up a website. This original buy and sell businessman could have survived the change if he transformed his idea and used a new platform. Instead of reacting and decreasing the cost of ad space, he could have transferred his business to the internet. He has already built the brand and has existing customers (advertisers and readers) while the new businessmen were just starting from scratch.

We must be sensitive to change and adapt to it very fast. Otherwise, we will find ourselves left out and our business will die.

2.   Don’t just watch.

Someone asked Jack Ma, "What is your secret for success?" He said, "Really simple...I am doing (action) while you're only watching."

Sometimes the best solution requires only a simple answer – do it; implement it. Don’t just watch the successful people get more success; work to achieve your own success. As soon as you have figured out what needs to be done, implement it immediately. Otherwise, someone else will do it.

3.   The most liked idea may not be a good idea.

I read that when Jack Ma does a brain storming session with his team, he does not get the idea that most of his team mates will vote on. He reasons that if most of the people want this idea then it is most likely that other businessmen are thinking of the same idea.

I hope these thoughts will help you as you evaluate your business and the challenges for 2016.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Persevere

Life on earth is a journey – it is short and can be unfair. Even when you feel mired in fear and sadness, you can persevere. Do not sulk into depression like lunatics do. You are not a lunatic, so don’t act like one. Life has different seasons. Don’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. Do something productive during the storm; if that is not possible, at least think of what you can learn from the storm. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.

Keep Busy

Frustration, desperation, and depression can lead to suicidal thoughts. You just want the pain, the hurt, and the negative feelings to dissipate so you think of intoxication and even fantasize of death. Don’t let this thought take over your mind.  To avoid thinking about these negative ideas, keep yourself busy. Think of the things that excite you so you can create a hobby or sports. Think of “do-it-yourself” gift projects for your kids, new ways to spend vacation without spending a lot of money; learn a new language, etc. Think of ways you can do to keep your mind from anxiety; keep busy and keep your brain occupied.

Monitor Your Mood
What triggers your anxiety? Monitor when your mood changes from happy to frustration. Do you feel irritated when you don’t get things done the way you want them to be done? Do you feel angry and blame people around you? Identify these mood swings and find a solution. For me the best correction to a negative mood swing behavior is to find peace in a quiet time of conversation with God.

Talk About It
If you can’t find someone to talk about what you are feeling, write it down. Sometimes, I would go to the internet and look for forums where I can talk about what I feel without worry of being found out. Just a word of caution, though, be very choosy should others reply with advice on your concerns.

Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Tell yourself “I will get better” several times until the feeling of anxiety disappears. Breathe deeply while speaking these words loudly. Put your arms across your chest; physically embracing and loving yourself.

You Are Not Alone
Though there is still the stigma against depressed people; it is more “natural” now than it was 50 years ago. More people can identify with you and more people have experienced being in the same situation and they have survived. They were able to overcome the frustration and they persevered, so can you. Some were homeless, jobless, divorced, hospitalized, yet they overcame these setbacks; they survived. You are no different; you too can persevere.

List Down Your Reasons for Persevering
My kids occupy the top of my list.  They are my more than enough reasons to get up and keep trying. I want to give them a better life, a better future and that makes me shake up my evil thoughts and invite good vibes to come into my life.

Disappointment

I am Ms. Planner. I plan a lot because I believe in the saying that the person who fails to plan, plans to fail. However, with the plans come disappointments. Making a plan is not an assurance that you will not fail… that you will not be disappointed. No human being has been spared of disappointment; disappointment is a fact of life. I admit it; I have had my share of severe disappointments that if I was not able to overcome could have devastated me and ruined my life. Actually, for a while my severe disappointment did take a toll on me. But thanks to my support system, I was able to see through that disappointment.

Just recently, I felt that I am on the road of disappointment again. I was so frustrated of my son’s lack of focus on his career. I am so afraid that if he doesn’t find the right path, it will destroy his entire life. I guess mothers fear more when the future of their kids is at stake.  

Today, I would like to share with you some tips on how to overcome disappointment.  This is my way of talking to myself and get that healing in the process.

Disappoint happens to everyone.
You are not alone. You may not know it but your neighbor could have or is suffering more disappointment than you are now experiencing. They have had losses and setbacks. Throw a pity party but don’t stay too long in the party. Grieve over your disappointment but get up and forgive those who have disappointed you and forgive yourself.

Do not compare yourself with other people.
When I look back and try to understand the root cause of my disappointment, I realize that my disappointment is more of pride. I compare myself to friends and family who I think are better off than me - have better spouses/partners, better off financially, better family, etc. I fail to count my blessings and accept that we are all unique individuals and lead different lives. Comparing yourself with other people will only increase your disappointment and decrease your contentment.

Change your focus.
Count your blessings and not your disappointments. You will be surprised to find out that you have more blessings than disappointments. Do not focus on the negative. You can’t turn back the hands of time but you can flip the chart to make your success story. Write down your feelings and be honest; be brutally honest. Vent if you have to because it is important to work through the emotions you are experiencing. Don’t hold back your emotions but be very choosy on whom to show your rant. If you can’t find a confidant who will help you and listen to you, it is better to just write your feelings. After ranting, focus on the positives. Recount them to your friend and write them down. This will help you keep your focus on the positive side of any disappointment.

When you fall down, pick yourself up and move forward.
Author Les Brown said, “Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.” It does not matter where you fell and how hard you fell; what is important is that you stood up, brushed yourself and moved on. Learn from your mistake.

Sometimes you need to adjust your expectations.
Moms always have high hopes for their children. Sometimes our children have different dreams and plans; probably such dreams are of a different level than yours.  Learn to accept and adjust your expectations.  After doing your best, be contented with the outcome. What is important is that you did your best. Be thankful and celebrate your achievements regardless of how small or big they are.

Dream again.

You may not have reached what you wanted but that should not stop you from dreaming again. Keep on dreaming and planning for what you believe is a good life. If you did not reach it through road 1, try another path; try another approach.

Never let disappointment derail you life. Do not crouch on disappointments because if you do, it could ruin your life. Accept disappointments to foolproof your life with happiness.