Fun!

http://www.utrend.tv/v/kid-inside/

I saw this ad and remembered the fun I had when my kids were this young.  Not that I am not having fun with them now; of course, I still do. 

It is just that the level of fun was of a different level when they were young.  The tricks that they do are just uniquely natural and genuine.

Have fun ladies on this blessed Sunday :)

Should I Stay Married for the Kids?

Should you stay together for the kids? I bet you’ve asked this question hundreds of times. This mind-buggling question is definitely the major reason why you hold on to your marriage as long as you can. Parents, most specially the mom, believe that divorce will affect their children negatively.  Well, a lot of studies prove this.

Moms fear that their children will have personal baggage growing up with divorced parents. This is definitely true but moms should also think of what effects an unhappy household will bring to a child.  Moms must weigh the situation.  What degree of personal baggage would their children have if a mom decides on a divorce versus sticking out with her abusive, irresponsible or drug-user husband?  I believe that the fear of most moms is that their kids will grow up with fears about being unable to sustain a happy relationship.  Moms fear that their kids will have difficulties in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood.  While this may be true, it is possible to lessen these tendencies if not totally eliminate them if the mom is a caring and loving mom.  It is also important that the mom discusses the reasons why she opted for a divorce, the moment her child is capable of understanding the situation.  
 

Unhappy parents make for unhappy children.  No matter how you try to hide your emotions, you will be surprised at how kids can be so keen on knowing how you feel. Be honest with your children about your marriage issues since most children can sense when their parents are not happy together. Your decision will affect your kids, so you must decide wisely.  Your kids’ welfare and happiness must be your top priority.  You know that whatever you choose will affect your child.  Choose wisely; choose the better option.  Becoming a single mom may be better than constantly exposing your kids to fights, bad behavior of your husband and your destruction as a human being. Remember that you can build a happy home even if you are a single mom. 

Separation is not the primary reason of some children having personal baggage or damage in their adult life.   Children usually have a natural ability to cope with the divorce and can adapt to new house or living arrangements. The personal baggage is caused by ongoing high level of conflict.  These conflicts and emotional dilemma are what hurts children.  It may be better to choose to be a single mom than expose your children to high level of conflict.
 

 

Contemplate on these when you catch yourself asking the question, "Should I stay married for the kids?" for the nth time.

Finding Fulfilment in Your Job

At times because of our need to bring home the bacon, we force ourselves to work day in and day out in our job, without feeling the joy and fulfilment.  Is it possible to find that job that does more than simply pay the bills? How can we find a job that puts our values into practice, uses our talents and allows us to follow our passions?

What are your talents?  What are your values?  You will find your job easier to do if you have the talents and skills for that job.  Don’t just work for the money; work for God. Work following God’s rules – work unto the Lord, the pay may not be great but the retirement benefits are out of this world.
 

Work wide, not high.  Job fulfilment is now achieved by working wide, not high.  Most career advisers would recommend that you aim high or become a specialist in a specific field, working your way up.  However, in today’s world, more and more people are turning to the opposite direction of achieving success and fulfilment by working on different careers simultaneously.  This means engaging on part-time work and on a freelance basis.  Achieving wide rather than high can help satisfy people’s multiple interests and would complement a person’s various personalities.  
 

Create creative and challenging tasks in your job. You may be a secretary but you can ask your boss if he minds that you do his report or speech for him.  Find ways to add something new to your task that will stretch you enough to create the excitement and fun but not too much as to cause you to worry about failing.  
 

The reason why most people are addicted to their jobs is not because of the bills to pay.  If your examine the lifestyle of these people, you will notice that they fail to live on less money. So, if you want fulfilment in your job, working just enough hours and not burdened by stress and anxiety, learn to live on less money.  Keep in mind this advice from Henry David Thoreau "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.”  
 

Don’t feel bad if you move from one job to the other; you need to know where your “calling is” or what would be the best career for you. Vincent Van Gogh started as an art dealer, before becoming a school teachier, bookseller, and even an evangelical preacher in the Belgian coal mines. It was in his late twenties that he discovered painting and became a world renowned painter.

Overcome your fears and take action. Sometimes finding the career or job that would best suit you means that you have to stop thinking and just do it. Take the leap of faith to discover what it is that will make your job fulfilling and not just a job to pay the bills.  Do not be afraid to make experiments and as single moms, I know you know what I mean.  Take the risk, the calculated risk to find joy and fulfilment in your job.

 

The Perseverance of Single Moms

Today is International Women’s Day.  On this day, we are reminded of the great women who made a mark in history from politics, entertainment and business.  Today, apart from reminding you of great women leaders and famous personalities like Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Marissa Meyer (CEO of Yahoo), Ursula Burns (CEO of Xerox), I would like to remind you of single moms who bravely and unselfishly nurtured their children the best way they can.  I would like to remind you of the perseverance of single moms.
 

The perseverance of single moms is best described in the life of JK Rowling.  JK Rowling was a single mom living in a tiny flat in Edinburg, Scotland when she began to write her first novel.  Like most single moms she struggled to make ends meet.  Her life back then was as normal as most single moms.  She even had thoughts of committing suicide.
 

Her life was as normal as most single moms.  She found inspiration in her infant daughter.  Her infant daughter gave her the determination to put her talents to work.  She cleared her mind of her present poverty and labored to create ideas for a book.  While her child napped, she would pick up her pen and paper to sketch out characters and plot scenes.  She labored week after week on her book.
 

Finally, her perseverance prevailed and the novel “Harry Potter” was born.
 

The perseverance of single moms springs from a purpose.  This purpose creates a passion that gives us energy to pursue our goal.  Perseverance enables us to accept the difficulties that life may bring.  These difficulties become our spring board to aim higher and keep reaching for our goal.  We drown excuses – lack of time, resources, energy – and get to work.  We accept that we will encounter hardships along the path to our dreams. We are ready to face trials and difficulties of life.  The perseverance of a single mom means continuous work till the dream is achieved.   
 

The perseverance of a single mom means stopping because the work is done; not because she is tired.

We Can Change the World

Let us join Sam in changing the world! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36m1o-tM05g

"I don't waste energy feeling bad about myself" - Sam

Single moms, let us use our energy to change the world.  We are more than capable of making it happen :).  Let us do it now!

When Children Make You Cry

I don’t know of any mother who hasn’t experienced being heart broken by their child.  A mother is heart broken when her child is in pain whether physically or emotionally.   A mother feels the same heart break when her child has traveled a wrong route.  When children make you cry, this could probably be the most painful experience in your life. 

Mothers only want what is best for their children.  We try our best to direct them to the right path, hoping they will not commit the mistakes we’ve done; hoping they will be better persons than we are.  However, despite all the prodding and all the advice they may turn to the wrong direction and break our hearts.

Children are children.  They grow in a different generation than us.  Though they experience the same peer pressure as we did, still their situation is different from ours.  Though we try to inculcate our values to them, they may not adopt to it because of the environment they are in.

When children make you cry, it is best to understand where they stand.  Accept that though your genes are in them, they may respond differently because each and every person is uniquely different.

When children make you cry, talk to them about your feelings especially when they are old enough to understand.  Expressing your emotions to your children may help them understand you and see your perspective.  It also opens the communication line, helping your children to share their thoughts and feelings with you. It also builds your relationship with them and binds your love and respect for each other.

When children make you cry, pray to God for wisdom on how to handle the situation.  Pray to God for help on how to you correct your child.  Pray to God for more patience for your child.  Pray to God for more understanding on your part and pray to God for peace.  Pray for the peace that gives you the assurance that God will direct your child to the right path.

When children make your cry, it is but natural.  You once broke your mother’s heart.  Your child will understand this when he or she becomes a parent.

 

I Love "You"

February being the month of love, I can’t help but write something about love again.  As the song says, “love makes the world go round”.  Quite true! Love causes people to act as they do, feeling and enjoying every moment of the love (hoping it lasts forever).  Love makes life’s journey fun and exciting.

There are several kinds of love (parental love, sibling love, love for a friend, and so on) but I have learned that the most important love of all is loving yourself.  If you don’t love yourself, you don’t know what love is and if you don’t know what love is you will not be able to love and express love.  Single moms are guilty of sacrificial love.  There is nothing wrong with this but this month, let’s try being kind, helpful and loving without sacrificing too much of our own needs.

Loving yourself is easy and simply taking note of your needs and sometimes giving in to your wants.  Loving yourself means taking good care of yourself like getting a good night’s sleep, so you will love the way you feel in the morning.  Get that love glow even if you are not in love.  That glow will show in your radiant skin, shining eyes, lustrous hair; in your physical well being.  Get that more expensive lotion because you like its feel on your skin; visit the spa because it relaxes.  These physical feelings will likewise show in your attitude; you will laugh more, have a positive outlook, have a better disposition, etc.

Learn to love what you have; in other words learn to be content. Accept yourself as you are right now.  Dream but don’t kill yourself to reach your dream.  Count your blessings and regularly give thanks for all your blessings. Be content because contentment will bring you peace, satisfaction and happiness.

Trust in your capabilities and do not criticize yourself.  Do not be hard with yourself, making criticisms and punishing yourself. Be kind to yourself.  Be confident but keep the attitude of seeking ways to improve yourself.  Forgive yourself for your mistakes and rise up to try again.

Starting this month of love, give more thoughts to “you”; give more love to “you”.