Understanding Your Toddler

I could hear your mind screaming…”What do you want?  I don’t understand you!” You were a toddler decades back but that experience does not guarantee that you understand why your toddler is acting.  You need to develop a positive relationship with your toddler to better understand his moods and tantrums make him obey you, and mold his character.  Understanding your toddler better will help you develop your toddler’s positive personality traits.

 

It is during the toddler stage that a kid’s brain develops into an intelligent mind.  A toddler’s growing mobility and natural curiosity fuel extreme activity that you as a parent need to control to keep your child safe.  However, you need to balance your control with freedom to ensure your toddler’s brain development.  Toddlers would pick up anything and put it straight in their mouth; walk and run if they can; try to climb chairs and stairs.

 

Toddlers start to develop a sense of self as they start talking, walking and exploring their surroundings.  Notice how your two year old starts to separate from you.  While walking in the mall, your toddler will insist that you put him down and once you do, he will run away. It is quite a challenge to run after these little explorers.

 

As a toddler develops his speech, he may sometimes say negative words like “No! Mine! Go Away! I don’t like you”.  Don’t worry, your baby is not turning into a bad child but is merely expressing his complex feelings into blunt expressions.  Your toddler has limited vocabulary and speech abilities; thus, he would blurt out easy and short words which may sometimes sound irritating. It is at this stage that your toddler will pick-up easy to say words from anyone so be careful to surround your kid with only positive people.  Make a conscious effort to review even the cartoon shows that he watches.  Make it a point that your relationship with your toddler is such that he is aware that you understand him and that your instructions are for his benefit.

 

Understanding your toddler requires a change of mind.  You need to realize that your toddler is smarter and better able to understand than you choose to think. Like any human beings, toddlers have inherent emotions – anger, fear, shame, happiness, excitement – expressed in sometimes not so pleasant ways.

 

Your relationship with your toddler will better enable you to understand your toddler and interpret your toddler’s sometimes awkward expressions of his emotions.  Your relationship with your child can help your toddler expresses his feelings and lay the foundation to a happy personality.  Your relationship with your toddler will cause you to understand him and help him develop into a socially adept person and develop a personality that will allow for a productive life.

Frugality Saves the Day

When nothing is free anymore, frugality saves the day.  Thrifty, being frugal or being colloquially “cheap” is no longer considered something to be ashamed of.  Today, being frugal is considered being a wise spender, an intelligent consumer.  In fact, I would bravely say that we, single moms, have accepted and have embraced being “cheap”. 

Today’s consumers have metamorphosed; frugality saves the day.   We no longer purchase whatever is offered by the manufacturers.  Today, we demand from manufacturers.  We decide the product, packaging, distribution and even payment terms.  Consumers today have a command of the market; we have the power.  The internet has helped consumers to be more informed. This consumer power resulted to stiff market competition, causing manufacturers to look for better ways to interact with consumers and get their hard-earned money.

Manufacturers vie for consumer reach by initiating consumer interaction using innovate methods.  Today there are websites and forums where moms can visit and join to get information on how to save on their purchases.  Coupons and discounts are becoming common marketing strategies of manufacturers worldwide.   The availability of this new marketing channel helps us stretch our hard earned money and get the most out of every sale opportunity.   Subscribing to the newsletter of your favorite companies and products that you regularly use could entitle you to coupons and discounts.  Some products that give this privilege to their regular customers are infant milk formula like Enfamil, baby foods like Gerber.  These companies will even send you free trials of any new products that they will soon be launching.  Consider investing in supermarket and warehouse membership.  The discounts will exceed the cost of your membership card.

For coupons, visit http://www.southernsavers.com/.  Founder, Jenny Martin helps moms to get the best deal teaching them the craft of saving using coupons and taking away from moms the time consuming way of doing this. She takes the hard work from moms by coupon hunting and working out deals with manufacturers.  She works out brand partnerships with companies like Aveeno, Recyclebank, Procter & Gamble, TJ Maxx, CVS, Piggly Wiggly and many others.

You might also want to check  http://www.passionforsavings.com.  This website provides tips on saving money with its free printable coupons, and helps consumers to save time and get hot deals for your family.  Some of its hot deals are grocery products , medicines and free photo deals  from well known stores like Walmart, Target, Kmart, Rite Aid, CVS Pharmacy and Walgreens. It also carries entertainment products for your kids like Disney ebooks. This website also features promotions depending on the season; for instance, it has on promo now the “Back to School” deals.  Today, its Back to School promo includes Skip Hop Backpacks and lunch bags and outfits for your kids.  Depending on the promo and product, they even offer free delivery.

For more of these coupon websites check out http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/coupon-websites

Remember, there is nothing wrong with being “cheap” because frugality saves the day!

Get Over the Pain

Hey there ladies, how are you feeling today?  If I could only use my magic wand to take all your blues away, I will definitely do so.

I just came from a meet up with one of my ladies and one of our newest members is feeling so heart-broken.  It brought back memories of my early years as a single parent.  Today’s blog post is dedicated to her and to all the single moms who have not yet gotten over the pain.

Break up can be one of the most painful experiences to move on from, most especially if you were the one who was dumped. It shutters your heart into tiny pieces, you believe will never be able to gather and put back together again.  At this stage you feel that you’ve lost your dignity and and your self-respect.

Because of the pain and feeling of worthlessness, solutions would raise your mind.  Solutions like begging your ex to get back with you or you might even think of getting a new lover immediately.  At this stage, it is very important to exhibit self-control. Take hold of your emotions to help you make logical decisions.  There are a lot of books that deal with rejection and grief.  The presence of friends and family who would listen and offer advice as well as make you laugh will help you get over your grief.  If your friends and family are not supportive (very unlikely), there are organizations/associations that can help you overcome this grief.  Most of these organizations have online presence so you can just leave a comment in their forums and advice will surely flood your email. If need be, seek professional therapy.

It is also important that you stay healthy.  Make sure that you get enough sleep and food.  Grieving will drain your body physically so you need to be strong for this unavoidable stage of your life as a new single mom. Healthy food and rest will help to balance your mood from extreme period of loneliness.  Staying healthy also means adding exercise into your daily routine.  You don’t need extreme exercises, just a 15 minute walk will do.  But if exercise is part of your agenda, then choose a program that you will enjoy like jazzercise, zumba or any of the latest fitness programs.

Above all, pray.  As you commune with our God, you will feel that unexplainable peace and comfort.

Welcome to the challenging world of single moms.

Single moms, you might want to leave your comments and advice below.

How to Calm Your Child's Fears of School

Hey there single momsJ.  Today, I am going to talk about children’s fears of school and how to calm and reassure them that all will be well in school.  Sending children off to school can cause anxiety not just to our child but to us as well. So when you are able to clam your child’s fears of school that is one stress away.

I always chuckle every time I see a photo in the newspaper of a child holding on to his mother’s skirt and crying as the mom coaxes her child to enter his classroom.  It brings back memories of the times when my kids were just starting in school.

Going to school or heading back to school brings with it a lot of mixed emotional changes. You need to understand your child’s worries, fears and anticipate their concerns. Talk to your child and have them understand that worries and fears are normal as they are threading into a new and different world.  Common issues that they have are – will I fit in?  Will I have friends?  Will the teacher be nice?  Reassure them and tell them your own going back to school issues.  Encourage them to talk about what happened in school. When faced with problems like difficulty in fitting in, tell them that these issues are short-lived and soon they will be able to find friends. Motivate them, telling them that these are normal stuff that children their age encounter; that these are challenges they are sure to overcome and these changes will help them become more mature.  If there are bigger issues like bullying, consider seeking the help of the teacher.   Make sure that your child recognizes that you are a team and that you are always there to support him and ease any stress he is feeling in school. Make your child feel that you understand his concerns and that you are there to calm and solve his fears of school.   

Teach your child school routines and familiarize him with his school environment.  You need to help your child get out of his comfort zone and anticipate entrance to a new environment. Words of encouragement do matter but they could also backfire if they don’t happen.  Don’t over excite or create an over anticipation for your child by saying, “You will definitely be happy here.  You will blend and have friends.  Your teacher will be very nice.”  Instead of words make your child see the new environment before school starts. Visit the school and tour him to the classrooms, the canteen, the playground, the gym, etc. Helping him know the location prior to the start to his school will take one worry off his mind – how to get to these places.  If this is not possible because of school regulations or your time, turn to the internet.  The school could have an online tour that will help your child familiarize himself with his impending new environment.  Find a map and print this for your child. It will also help him have an idea of how the students look and how they dress.  If possible, find a buddy for your child.  This will assure him that he has a friend in school and this likewise assures you that your kid is in good company.

Now, if you are dealing with a toddler or a more anxious child, you have to slowly win him from his comfort zone to help him feel secured in his new environment.  Build their security and confidence levels.  Slowly introduce them to the care of other people like relatives and friends to help them build up their confidence levels that they can adapt and survive without you.  Create “special” sendoffs like your magical handshake that will help him ward off any negative things or situations in his new environment.

Adjustments will take time.  There will be days when your child will run to you with a happy face and times when he is sobbing; but you will get there.  Just be patient as your child experiences the changes. Be creative and experiment on ways to calm your child’s fears of school. Above are just a few suggestions on how to clam your child’s fears of school.

Please leave your comments and suggestions below to help other single moms to calm their child’s fears of school.

Stress Reliever

Single mom or not, stress visits us on a daily basis. The ill effects that stress can do to your body and be countered by simple stretches.  Stress hampers blood circulation resulting to tensed muscles particularly muscles in your back, neck and shoulders.  People in the office or those who sit for long periods of time are prone to muscle tension. Even single moms who run around to finish various tasks daily are prone to muscle pains. Movement induces release of cortisol, the stress hormone, in the bloodstream. Stretching can reduce pain of your tensed muscles, increase blood circulation and helps you develop good posture and relieve you of stress. Following are very powerful stress relieving stretches.

 

Stretch step number one. Sit on a chair with your feet far apart.  Make sure that you are seated straight up and not with a bended back.  Now stretch your arms like you are reaching for the ceiling. Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number two. Face a wall, feet apart.  Place your hands flat against the wall above your head. Walk your hand higher until you feel a good stretch. Hold for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number three. Remain standing with feet apart.  Raise your right arm, hand facing in. Hold for 5 seconds. Move your arm at shoulder level for 5 seconds then bring your arm down.  Repeat three times.  Now, do the same with your left arm.

 

Stretch step number four.  Go back to your chair. Sit on your chair with your feet far apart.  Make sure that you are seated straight.  Reach down to touch your toes. Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number five.  Still seated on your chair with feet apart, gently twist your body to the right.  Hold for 10 to 20 seconds.  Now twist your body to the left. Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number six. Stand up with feet apart. Drop down your chin towards your chest while clasping your hands behind your head.  Keep pulling down till you feel a good stretch.  Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number seven. Stand with your back against a wall to ensure that you are keeping a straight position. Reach your right arm over your head to touch your left ear.  Tilt your head toward your right shoulder till you feel a good stretch.  Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times. Now reach your left arm over your head and touch your right ear.  Tilt your head toward your left shoulder till you feel a good stretch.  Hold this position for 10 to 20 seconds, then release.  Repeat this three times.

 

Stretch step number eight.  Go back to your seated position. Slowly bring your shoulders all the way up toward your ears, holding this position for 5 seconds. Gently roll your shoulders back and down until you are back at your starting position. Breathe slowly taking your time. Repeat three times.

 

Do all of these stretch steps or choose those that best suit your need and feel your muscles ease up.  Even if you are busy, you need only a minimum of five minutes to ease your tensed muscles. Do not wait till you are too stressed out to do these easy and powerful stress relievers. 

 

Single moms, here’s to living a stress free life!