I always chuckle every time I see a photo in the
newspaper of a child holding on to his mother’s skirt and crying as the mom coaxes
her child to enter his classroom. It
brings back memories of the times when my kids were just starting in school.
Going to school or heading back to school brings
with it a lot of mixed emotional changes. You need to understand your child’s
worries, fears and anticipate their concerns. Talk to your child and have them
understand that worries and fears are normal as they are threading into a new
and different world. Common issues that
they have are – will I fit in? Will I
have friends? Will the teacher be nice? Reassure them and tell them your own going
back to school issues. Encourage them to
talk about what happened in school. When faced with problems like difficulty in
fitting in, tell them that these issues are short-lived and soon they will be
able to find friends. Motivate them, telling them that these are normal stuff
that children their age encounter; that these are challenges they are sure to
overcome and these changes will help them become more mature. If there are bigger issues like bullying,
consider seeking the help of the teacher.
Make sure that your child recognizes that you are a team and that you
are always there to support him and ease any stress he is feeling in school.
Make your child feel that you understand his concerns and that you are there to
calm and solve his fears of school.
Teach your child school routines and familiarize him with his school
environment. You need to help your child
get out of his comfort zone and anticipate entrance to a new environment. Words
of encouragement do matter but they could also backfire if they don’t
happen. Don’t over excite or create an
over anticipation for your child by saying, “You will definitely be happy
here. You will blend and have
friends. Your teacher will be very nice.” Instead of words make your child see the new
environment before school starts. Visit the school and tour him to the
classrooms, the canteen, the playground, the gym, etc. Helping him know the
location prior to the start to his school will take one worry off his mind –
how to get to these places. If this is not
possible because of school regulations or your time, turn to the internet. The school could have an online tour that
will help your child familiarize himself with his impending new
environment. Find a map and print this
for your child. It will also help him have an idea of how the students look
and how they dress. If possible, find a
buddy for your child. This will assure
him that he has a friend in school and this likewise assures you that your kid
is in good company.
Now, if you are dealing with a toddler or a more
anxious child, you have to slowly win him from his comfort zone to help him
feel secured in his new environment. Build
their security and confidence levels.
Slowly introduce them to the care of other people like relatives and friends
to help them build up their confidence levels that they can adapt and survive
without you. Create “special” sendoffs
like your magical handshake that will help him ward off any negative things or
situations in his new environment.
Adjustments will take time. There will be days when your child will run
to you with a happy face and times when he is sobbing; but you will get there. Just be patient as your child experiences the
changes. Be creative and experiment on ways to calm your child’s fears of school. Above
are just a few suggestions on how to clam your child’s fears of school.
Please leave your comments and suggestions below to
help other single moms to calm their child’s fears of school.
No comments:
Post a Comment