Should I Stay Married for the Kids?

Should you stay together for the kids? I bet you’ve asked this question hundreds of times. This mind-buggling question is definitely the major reason why you hold on to your marriage as long as you can. Parents, most specially the mom, believe that divorce will affect their children negatively.  Well, a lot of studies prove this.

Moms fear that their children will have personal baggage growing up with divorced parents. This is definitely true but moms should also think of what effects an unhappy household will bring to a child.  Moms must weigh the situation.  What degree of personal baggage would their children have if a mom decides on a divorce versus sticking out with her abusive, irresponsible or drug-user husband?  I believe that the fear of most moms is that their kids will grow up with fears about being unable to sustain a happy relationship.  Moms fear that their kids will have difficulties in achieving love, sexual intimacy, and commitment to marriage and parenthood.  While this may be true, it is possible to lessen these tendencies if not totally eliminate them if the mom is a caring and loving mom.  It is also important that the mom discusses the reasons why she opted for a divorce, the moment her child is capable of understanding the situation.  
 

Unhappy parents make for unhappy children.  No matter how you try to hide your emotions, you will be surprised at how kids can be so keen on knowing how you feel. Be honest with your children about your marriage issues since most children can sense when their parents are not happy together. Your decision will affect your kids, so you must decide wisely.  Your kids’ welfare and happiness must be your top priority.  You know that whatever you choose will affect your child.  Choose wisely; choose the better option.  Becoming a single mom may be better than constantly exposing your kids to fights, bad behavior of your husband and your destruction as a human being. Remember that you can build a happy home even if you are a single mom. 

Separation is not the primary reason of some children having personal baggage or damage in their adult life.   Children usually have a natural ability to cope with the divorce and can adapt to new house or living arrangements. The personal baggage is caused by ongoing high level of conflict.  These conflicts and emotional dilemma are what hurts children.  It may be better to choose to be a single mom than expose your children to high level of conflict.
 

 

Contemplate on these when you catch yourself asking the question, "Should I stay married for the kids?" for the nth time.