Help Your Kids

Help your kids by being strong and not adding to the issues, concerns and confusions they are in.  You may be surprised but it is true; kids are resilient, they will bounce back.  They just need a strong and stable environment to help them cope up with being in a single parent home. 

Divorce brings painful wound; our children will definitely undergo emotional pain.  But children can learn to adapt in this tough circumstance if we help them find healing. Because of divorce, children will experience a number of losses. One parent moves out, and depending on the financial situation, the children may have to move to a new home, losing familiar surroundings and their friends. Gaining new friends may become difficult, siblings grieve, money may be tight and their custodial parent may be hurt and angry as well. All sense of security and safety is compromised as children look around to see their new, unsettled world.

Thus, at this time it is very important for you to be strong and settle your kids’ environment in the best possible way.  Attend to your kid’s needs with a reassuring and positive attitude.Your love and presence will help your kids cope with divorce or separation.  Kids need a double dose of your patience, reassurance and listening ear to minimize the stress and tension in their new environment. It would help to provide a routine  to remind them that they can count on your for stability, structure and care. 

Flexibility aids in learning but adjusting to too many new things at the same time is difficult.  Help your kids adjust to adapt to their new environment by providing as much stability and structure as possible in their daily lives. Structure and continuity doesn’t mean that you set up rigid schedules.  Routines do not have to be exactly the same; give room for adjustments depending on your kids’ response.  Create some regular routines and always communicate to your children what to expect.  Always ask for their opinion.  This will help your kids find a sense of calm and stability.

Do not be mistaken; schedules and organization is beneficial for older children as it is for younger children. Kids, regardless of age, feel safer and more secure when they know what will happen next.  Kids want to know what to expect.  Knowing that they can follow the same routine (i.e. bath after dinnertime) even when they switch homes, helps ease a child.



Keeping a routine also means observing rules; giving rewards and discipline when necessary.  Spoiling your kids or not enforcing limits and disregard of rules they break will not help your kids cope up with your divorce or separation.

When Your Child is Sick

It's been weeks since I sat down on my table to write something on my blog.  My son was hospitalized for almost 2 weeks.  We were discharged last Tuesday but he continues to have fever episodes.  If this continues, I will have to bring him back to the hospital tomorrow.

The Bible says to give thanks in everything... problems and misfortunes included.  As I sat alone in the hospital room with my son for days and nights, I tried to think and reflect of the blessings that I should be thankful for.  I thought, well, I have a much needed rest from my online business and I get to spend time alone with my son.

It hurts to see my son suffer and I can't do anything about his pain. I recall the time when he was young and would occasionally hurt himself with a bruise.  A small kiss and reassurance that it is not a deep wound and the pain will soon go away brings a sunny smile to my son.  It's different now. Painful coughs would send me to lie down with my son on his hospital bed holding on to his now frail body hoping to lessen the pain while he coughs.  I went with him in all the procedures they did as far as the doctors and nurses would allow me to. When I am no longer allowed to be with him, I wished with all my heart that I am in the medical profession so I could at least hold my son's hand as they poke those needles in his tired body in the hope of finding a cure for his ailment.  But I am not, so I had to wait "forever" in the waiting room fixing my eyes in the direction where I could immediately get a glimpse of when the door opens and see them push my son's bed out of the procedure room.

My son is such a darling.  Much as I tried to conceal my worry and my tears, he catches me and gives me a reassuring smile that he is well (times have changed; I used to say that when he was a kid).  During the times that he could endure the pain, he would always crack a joke. 

When your child is sick and in pain, you will gladly trade your health to take his pain away.  As I reflect on my emotions, I remember Jesus Christ's suffering on the cross.  He gladly traded his life for ours.

Today is Easter Sunday and I am reminded of another thing that I should be thankful for -- Jesus Christ traded his life for you and me; He died on the cross for us that we may life forever. 

Golf Story of My Life

I love the game of golf. Whenever I have the time (sometimes I make time), I will go out and play golf with friends. The game taught me a lot about about patience and perseverance. As I enjoy my chosen sports, I am reminded that my life if just like my
golf. This is the golf story of my life.

You run into unexpected obstacles when you play golf, so do you in life. You may think that you have everthing figured out. Everything is happening as planned – you’ve graduated from the university, have a great career, you got married and have kids. Suddenly, your plan got derailed. You are on the verge of becoming a single mom. In golf, a bad shot may ruin your plans to make birdie. In life, there are several obstacles we’ll face. It is important to keep our composure and maintain a positive perspective. Take these obstacles as challenges; challenges to make you a better and enduring person. Commit to overcoming these challenges. The best way to do this is to commit your life to God. Every morning is a new day, a new beginning. Focus on God and commit to Him your day and you will less likely to get caught up with your problems and find strength to overcome your challenges.

In golf, it is important to have a routine; maintain a consistency. You must be comfortable with your technique to avoid variations in your shots and focus on strategy. Same is true with life. You must be consistent and maintain good habits like eating healthy, exercising, being with good company, etc. if you want to live long and stay well.

Not all your shots will turn out good but we need to react positively when this happens. After a bad shot is an opportunity to make the next shot (or game) a better one. In life, every obstacle is a unique circumstance that should not discourage you but could make you into a better person. As a single mom, I found the strength I never thought I have. I realized that I was creative, ingenious and capable of giving love unconditionally. I also learned that I have a lot of friends.

In golf, there can be a shot that is so easy and yet you fail to hit it. You feel an intense emotion and you just hate yourself for it. In life, the most difficult person to forgive is yourself. I found it difficult to forgive myself. How did I allow myself to end up as a single mom? I blamed myself for a wrong plan, wrong judgment, wrong love. It took a while but I’ve now forgiven myself and feel relaxed just like my golf; if I missed an easy shot, I forgive myself and enjoy my game just the same.

My golf, my life; my game has taught me a lot or is it the other way around? My life has taught me to play my golf better and enjoy the game. This is the golf story of my life.

Thank You Mom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57e4t-fhXDs