Help Your Kids

Help your kids by being strong and not adding to the issues, concerns and confusions they are in.  You may be surprised but it is true; kids are resilient, they will bounce back.  They just need a strong and stable environment to help them cope up with being in a single parent home. 

Divorce brings painful wound; our children will definitely undergo emotional pain.  But children can learn to adapt in this tough circumstance if we help them find healing. Because of divorce, children will experience a number of losses. One parent moves out, and depending on the financial situation, the children may have to move to a new home, losing familiar surroundings and their friends. Gaining new friends may become difficult, siblings grieve, money may be tight and their custodial parent may be hurt and angry as well. All sense of security and safety is compromised as children look around to see their new, unsettled world.

Thus, at this time it is very important for you to be strong and settle your kids’ environment in the best possible way.  Attend to your kid’s needs with a reassuring and positive attitude.Your love and presence will help your kids cope with divorce or separation.  Kids need a double dose of your patience, reassurance and listening ear to minimize the stress and tension in their new environment. It would help to provide a routine  to remind them that they can count on your for stability, structure and care. 

Flexibility aids in learning but adjusting to too many new things at the same time is difficult.  Help your kids adjust to adapt to their new environment by providing as much stability and structure as possible in their daily lives. Structure and continuity doesn’t mean that you set up rigid schedules.  Routines do not have to be exactly the same; give room for adjustments depending on your kids’ response.  Create some regular routines and always communicate to your children what to expect.  Always ask for their opinion.  This will help your kids find a sense of calm and stability.

Do not be mistaken; schedules and organization is beneficial for older children as it is for younger children. Kids, regardless of age, feel safer and more secure when they know what will happen next.  Kids want to know what to expect.  Knowing that they can follow the same routine (i.e. bath after dinnertime) even when they switch homes, helps ease a child.



Keeping a routine also means observing rules; giving rewards and discipline when necessary.  Spoiling your kids or not enforcing limits and disregard of rules they break will not help your kids cope up with your divorce or separation.