Letting Go

It is so difficult to let go.  As a single mom, one of the most difficult to let go is your child’s independence.  From babies to toddlers, we were deciding everything for our kids.  We choose their food, clothes to wear, friends to be with and more.  There were times in the past when I wished that I don’t have to be asked, “Mom, what shall I wear?”  I guess these were times when I was just too exhausted to even talk.

 

As kids grow older, consultation talks become lesser. This then is the moment when we miss being asked even the menial things.  When kids grow older, they would want to have their independence.  They choose their hair style, clothes, food and most specially, friends.  When this happens our immediate reaction is to hold back.  It becomes difficult for us to give them this independence for fear that they might make mistakes. It becomes difficult for us letting go.

 

But we need to let go of this fear and give our children the independence they deserve.  This independence will help them become mature.  Our role is to guide our children in learning to trust their internal guidance system.  This internal guidance system is an individual’s instinct which directs the individual to know what is best for him and what makes him happy.

 

Thus, your child will pick friends that he emulates and enjoys being with.  The result of such   relationships may be positive or negative so it is important to teach your child to be aware and be expectant of the results, whatever they may be.  You need to teach them to be conscious of who they are and what they truly want because peer pressure can cloud their understanding. 

 

Friendships are learning tools for your child.  Friendships help your child experience different aspects of themselves, bringing out different facets of his personality.   Children, just like adults, can more clearly define who they want to be by experiencing the opposite of who they are.

 

One of the most valuable relationships that our children can develop is friendships.  Friendships teach our children to share, to listen, to give, to sacrifice, and to be supportive to others. Friendships open the eyes of our children to the reality of the world around them.  They learn the value of give-and-take in human relationships away from the family hierarchy.

Allowing your child to choose his friends will help him become independent and will open the door for you to guide your child as he experience a multitude of emotions.  His relationship with friends will immerse him into the dramas of life - fun, joy, hurt and betrayals.  Whatever experience and emotions his chosen relationship may bring, your child will learn one way or the other from his friends; so, do not fear letting go.