Stress

Stress is a five letter word full of power. The rat-race competition, technology, busyness have increased the stress of life.  This emotional strain or tension triggered by adverse or demanding circumstances has invaded everyone in our planet and is invading everyone at different levels. Stress is very individual. What may be stressful to one person is nothing compared to another person. A change in your daily schedule may cause you stress but it may mean nothing to your officemate. Stress if not handled properly may devastate a person leading to suicide attempts or loss of sanity in extreme cases. It is thus essential to deal with stress the moment you feel it crouching inside of you.

To relive your body of stress, you need to move your body. One strategy to relieve a person from stress is yoga. Yoga relaxes the mind and also helps to relieve the tension in the body. If you are not into yoga, any form of movement can have the same result. Jogging or walking will clear your mind from nagging thoughts and ease your muscles.  

 

You need to avoid stressors – people or circumstances that give you stress.  We may not admit it but sometimes we unwittingly create our own stress. We surround ourselves in stressful situations or surround ourselves with stressful people. Stress can be easily self-induced; thus, can easily be remedied.  If you are constantly stressed you need to make improvements in your situation. For instance, if deadlines and appointments stress you out, give yourself plenty of time to get to your destination or complete your project.

Notice how you breathe.  By simply minding how you breathe can minimize your stress.  Taking deep, slow breaths can slow you down physically and mentally.

Huge goals can cause stress.  To avoid stress but still achieve your goal, try using the “divide and rule” technique.  The mere thought of the amount of work to be done in a day causes undue stress.  Compartmentalize these tasks and accomplish them one at a time.  For instance, lump home errands together and office work together.  Prioritize and start doing the work accordingly.  When we're able to break things down into smaller pieces, the smaller pieces become more manageable; thus, less stressful.

One of the best remedy to break stress is to seek balance. All work and no play will turn you into a dull person.  You need to relax to gain more energy to accomplish what you need to do. Relaxation gives your brain a break and helps you re-focus. Relaxation may even give you a better perspective, opening new ideas and better solutions.

 

Do not be unnecessarily over burdened.  You only need to raise a hand or ask for help and help will be on its way gladly. Do not try to do everything by yourself.  Ask someone to help you or use technology to your advantage instead of technology causing you stress. Use your smart phone to remind you of appointments. I have a friend whose phone rings every 30 minutes in the morning to remind her of her schedules in the morning. Again, stress is individual; some people may find this annoying but this helps my friend keep her mind on other tasks because she knows her phone will ring to remind her that she needs to move on to another task.

Do not be worried if you catch yourself talking your stress out.  In fact, positive self talk will boost your morale.  Tell yourself, “I can handle this!” When you agree and believe that you can do whatever you need to do, stress is left at bay.

 

Though I love this quote, "Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards", we should not take it too literally and indulge to bulge.  Deal with stress the right way and live a healthy life.

Random Thoughts

I make it a point to have a quiet time everyday.  It does not have to be at a regular time but anytime of the day or night that I can be by myself for at least thirty minutes.   It is during this quiet time that I usually have wonderful random thoughts; random thoughts that may be simple yet thought provoking.

Here are some of these random thoughts.

What do I really want to do and keep doing for the next five years? Studies have shown that clarity of purpose predicts how people do their jobs. When you know what you want, you become more focused and have more chances of getting what you want. Those who are not clear or not sure of what they want will mostly find their work unfulfilling. It may surprise you that most people don’t know what they want.  They think they do but when asked the question, they are lost for answers.

What is my greatest achievement? When you ask people this question, you will receive grand answers that will astound you. I built a business empire. I traveled the world. I invented the wheel.  But you know what? Man’s greatest achievement is something that is very close to heart. Winston Churchill said, "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me." My greatest achievement is having raised two wonderful children.

One of the hardest things to learn in life is to wait. Much of life involves waiting and many wrong decisions are made because of impatience. I remember the Stanford marshmallow experiment on delayed gratification.  These studies were conducted in the late 1960s and 1970s by Walter Mischel, a psychologist professor at Stanford University. In these studies, a child was offered a marshmallow but was told that he will get two marshmallows if he waited for about 15 minutes till the tester gets back in the room. In the follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for greater rewards had better life outcomes as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment and other life measures. When children are trained to wait they become more disciplined and are in better positions to succeed. This is easier said than done, but it can be learned and it must be developed.

It is extremely hard and stressful for anyone to keep trying hard to be liked. The important thing is to do good to others as if you are the “others." You can’t please everybody but can choose to be good to the less liked person.

When someone tells you, “That’s not going to make you win a popularity contest. The best response is, “I am not running for office." Say it with respect, kindness and conviction. Remember to put on a smile as you utter your response.  This will drive difficult people crazy.

Nothing quiets criticism like involvement. When people make things difficult for you, involve them in your project.  Think of creative ways to engage people; allow them to contribute so they can be part-owners of the things you do.

I suggest you have your own time for random thoughts because it will enhance your thought process, define your purpose and help you reach your goals.

Life Crisis

Have you heard of “quarter-life crisis”? I don’t know about you but this is an addition to my knowledge, to my vocabulary.  If we have the “mid-life crisis”, the young today are troubled with the “quarter-life crisis”.  My daughter says that this happens from the teenage years to early thirties.  It is the period when this age group goes through the stress of becoming an adult.  It is a critical period because they go through the motions of being unsure about their lives and their life directions.

 

When she told me this, I had my recollections. I too went through this phase in my life but did not really know or even considered it as a crisis. People my generation stuck it out whether we liked the school or not; we did not quit our job even if we hate our office.  We never thought nor discussed about quitting in anything that we were doing. We just knew that there is a certain path that we need to thread.  Life was simple back then; there were no complications or too much demand compared today.

 

Because of the rapid industrialization, life is no longer simple for the young these days. The stress of coping with the unending challenges that face them can be overwhelming. Businesses want more done and delivered at a faster speed. Success lasts only for a while; everything today is measured in speed. There is much competition today than there was in my generation.  The young today are exposed to the rat race more intensely than we were. Have you noticed that they marry much later or probably remain unmarried?  Stress could probably be the reason why heart diseases, hypertension and diabetes are common among the young.

 

I hope the following food for thought can help the people going through their quarter life crisis:

1. Great lessons are learned outside schools. Experience is the best teacher and life is a non-stop learning experience. Invest in time to process the things and events that are happening in your life. There is always something you can learn in everything that happens to you. And once you’ve identified the life lessons, use them; the lessons are too valuable to be wasted.  Use the experience to bring you up the ladder of your dream.
2. Your attitude and character are more important than your school education. When you enter the work place, no one will care about the school where you graduated. Your education may help you accomplish your job but your attitude and character will determine your promotion or demotion.
3. Mentors will help you reach your goals in life.  Make a conscious effort to look for someone who can mentor you.  Hang around successful people and learn their success formulas. Do not have second thoughts in asking a strict or harsh person to be your mentor as long as that person is exceptionally good.  We learned best from our college professors who were the strictest. I remember my college professor; she was so strict that she will embarrass students in front of the class.  Because of this, I studied hard and got a very high grade.
4. Be willing to accept corrections.  You asked someone to mentor you because you know that you will make mistakes.  You will learn only when your mentor will point out your mistakes. Accept the corrections humbly. Reprimands and rebukes are always painful but you need to get over these quickly; don’t dwell on them.  Process the lessons and move on; admit your mistake and learn from it.
5. Success requires hard work.  Most successful people work harder or they may humbly say they work smarter in their jobs.  But they work harder on themselves; they work hard to improve themselves. 

There will always be a crisis in our life. Regardless of which phase you are in, quarter life or mid-life, there is a challenge that you can learn from.

 

Take it from me, a single mom who is now in the mid-life crisis.