Sharpen Your Negotiation Skills

You may not notice it but you negotiate every single day of your life. As you make decisions the moment you awake, you also have to negotiate as you go through your day. You talk your child into bringing his snacks to school instead of buying from the cafeteria, you negotiate with a neighbor for a ride, you bargain with the grocer, etc.

Every single act that you do requires negotiation.  Here’s how to sharpen your negotiation skills whether it be a simple negotiation at home, in your neighborhood, at your work, or in your business.

Like the good old boy scout motto, “Be prepared.”

People think that confidence and boisterousness are keys to sealing a deal.  Others say that you need experience to become a good negotiator. But most of the time, it merely takes preparation to ensure you are aptly equipped to assert mutually desirable terms, anticipate objections, and discern your opponent’s weak spots to enforce a win-win solution. Note that I mentioned “win-win solution” because winning a negotiation means we are concerned with our so-called “opponent”.  A win-win negotiation is another long topic so let me just briefly state that we are after a humanely negotiation; we do not negotiate to abuse our so-called “opponent”.  When you have a heart, a compassionate heart, you become endearing even to your opponent and this will overshadow any lack of experience you may have in negotiation. Having a heart will also make the other party less defensive and will make the other party more amenable to your stipulations. Come in well prepared in mind and heart.

Keep in mind that everything is negotiable.

A great negotiator keeps an open mind. He knows that everything is negotiable; there is no road block as far as negotiation is concerned. When you have the mindset that the terms for anything can be changed into a beneficial agreement for both parties, doors of possibilities and opportunities open.

Keep building relationships.
No negotiation will proceed unless a good relationship is built. Negotiation does not happen when people are unruly and shouting at the top of their voices. The same is true in building a business. If you are in the business of networking, do not just give away your business card in an event. Spend a few minutes connecting and getting to know people more on a deeper level. Ask about their family, their hobbies, goals, etc. Get a little more personal. A good relationship will help you collaborate and improve your business deal.

Do not assume that the other party understands or knows what you want; ask for what you want.
The reason why sales people don’t get the sale is because they don’t ask. The same is true in negotiation; to get what you want, you must ask for it. The reason why some sales people don’t ask for the sale is because of the fear of rejection or being branded as too strong. Same is true in negation; some negotiators fear rejection or are afraid of being branded as greedy. In negotiations, rejection is never personal. If you were rejected or did not win the negotiation, it merely means thatt you did not present a viable argument substantiating why you should get what you want. Or it could mean that there was a much better solution to the issue at hand.

Practise the art of silence.
What is your reaction to a sales person who just keeps on talking? Irritated and you don’t give him the sale. You may even vow never to talk to him again; you will avoid him. Too much talk will prevent you from knowing what the other party has to say and therefore not being able to refute whatever is in their thoughts. Do not underestimate the power of silence. According to an old adage “he or she who speaks next loses.” Keep quiet and listen to win the  negotiation.