I Learned From My Children

Single parenting is not only difficult; it is overwhelming as we put on our different hats everyday. We bring home the baon. We are the bodyguard, nurse, comforter, cook, maid, driver, tutor and everything else under the sun.  Thus, we need to learn as much as we can to help us fulfill our multiple roles. We read books, we join organizations, we listen to friends and family.  But, I can attest to you that one of the best mentors I have are my kids.  I learned from children.

I may not have learned how to earn money, cook or drive from my kids; but I did learn how to have a positive outlook in life from my children.

My children helped me to forgive.  Their innocent acceptance of living in a one-parent home gave me the courage to accept my own situation as a single mom.  I do not find in them a single trace of bitterness and this has helped me a lot to move on, forgive and accept our fate.  When I accepted my situation and learned to forgive, I gained the courage and strength to wear my multiple hats everyday. 

My children taught me never to lose my sense of appreciation. I couldn’t provide them a lot of toys but this deprivation never saddened my kids.  Actually, it was I who cried when I saw my little boy stare at his playmate’s new remote car toy.  When his playmate left with his toy, my boy happily played with his own plastic toy car.  My children may not have many fancy toys but they appreciate what they have.  Simple toys delight them.  Being contented with simple things is one of the keys to happiness.

I learned from my children that crying heals. My kids and I talk a lot and we talk about anything under the sun; love included.  So when my eldest was experiencing what she thought was love and felt heartbroken, she cried her heart to me.  I told her to stop crying but she simply replied that she just wants to cry because it makes her feel better.  Adults hate to cry; actually, we are ashamed to cry.  We should learn from our kids; crying will make us feel better. Crying is medicinal.  It helps us release our emotional pain and it is healthy. Research says that tears can be a way of flushing negative chemicals from our body. Basal tears, layer of protective fluid covering our eyeballs, contain lysozyme which is a powerful and fast acting antibacterial and anti-viral agent.

I thought that the best way to shield myself from harm was to quit talking and keep away from people. My children taught me that I can speak up.  I can speak up but keep my composure and be respectful. We are a normal family we argue at times.  I remember my little boy raising his hands to tell me that he wants to be heard; that he disagrees with my choice of clothing for him but he respects my choice because I am the one who will pay the bill.

My children taught me to love and trust again. They love me so dearly and trust me to always be there for them.  I learned from this childlike behavior that I too can love and trust my heavenly father because he is always there for me.  Though I do not understand the complexity of life, Jesus Christ knows everything from beginning till the end and I can trust Him because I know that He loves me and cares for me.

I learned from my children a very valuable lesson.  I learned from my children how to have a positive outlook in life.