Communication

We were created with a mouth to speak out our feelings and thoughts, body to express our thoughts and emotions. Good communication helps us achieve our purpose in life.  Famous communicators have a handful to say about good communication.

The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate - Joseph Priestley. People who beat around the bush would seldom get people to listen and understand them because people either tend to get lost in the bush or get impatient waiting for the real message to be delivered.

Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. When you speak, it must be in full clarity using every word wisely to ensure that people get the message.

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it - Robert Frost.  This is funny but it is very true.  I don't know why most of us are like this.  Those who have so much to say are just to shy to speak up while those who really have nothing or no essence in their message, loves to talk.  As my grandmother used to say, "If a jar makes so much noise, it is empty; and a full jar makes no sound at all". It is just like saying "talk is cheap".  People who talk a lot and boast are senseless people.

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak - Hans Hofmann. Simple and straight to the point communication will get your message across.  Never use elaborate, fancy or highfalutin [:)] words to impress.

Brevity is the soul of wit - William Shakespeare. You nailed it Shakespeare.

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after - Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  Very true because you keep musing about the message.

If you can’t write your message in a sentence, you can’t say it in an hour - Dianna Booher.  I've met people who find it hard to write their message in a sentence and when it is time for them to give the speech, they beat around the bush and couldn't connect with their audience.

There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave - Dale Carnegie.  Your message does not end after you've written it.  You need to practice, practice and practice so that you don't regret that you did not communicate your message properly.

One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears, by listening to them - Dean Rusk.  Good listening skills is essential to good communication.

Make sure you have stopped speaking before your audience has stopped listening - Dorothy Sarnoff.  A good communicator knows when to shut up.  What essence is it when you keep babbling and no one is listening?

And finally, the last but definitely not the least; a communication quote from my favorite communicator, “Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”  - Franklin D. Roosevelt

     

Status Symbol

Have you noticed the new status symbol?  It is no longer the alligator or the man on top of a horse playing polo.  Nor is it the latest German engineered car.  The new status symbol lives in the gadgets you use every second.  It is on your iphone and your tablet.  You even wear it on your ear (Bluetooth headset) with your earrings.

The new status symbol, one that is perceived as an indicator or economic or social standing, is no other than “busy-ness”.  Today, it seems that if you are not preoccupied, you are less worthy. It has been accepted and respected that we must be busy or at least look busy. Being busy has become a way of life in today's generation.

 

 

We are always on-line (at least during our awake hours). We've learned to do several things at the same time. The screens dominate out lives. Gone are the days of the good old television screen which preoccupied our entertainment time.  Today we are looking at multiple screens at the same time.  We turn on the television to listen to the news while we are working on our laptop, checking our mobile phone and comparing notes with our Ipad. So, today we look at not just one screen but four screens at any given time. I wonder how many it will be in the next generation.

 

 

We believe that technology should lighten our work load; unfortunately the reverse is true. Technology is designed to give us the tools to do more.  Technology challenges us to achieve more, to be more active, to be more busy. Because of technology we are the “Busy Generation.”

 

 

Because of technology, we think we are successful.  Unfortunately that is not how we feel. Because of technology, we achieve more but as we do more, more is expected from us. More power and more speed does not only require us to deliver more but to deliver faster. With this demand, whatever we achieve we will be too busy to enjoy. Technology brings easier and faster communication, resulting to us being digitally connected every moment. We are increasingly tied to a 24-hour global clock.

 

This brings me to note the huge difference of being busy and being productive. Our addiction to being constantly active and our busyness may in a way try to convince us that we are productive.  Caffeinated and energy drinks boost our zombie-like daze but weakens our leadership capabilities. The leader’s job is to bring clarity amidst the chaos of busyness. 

 

 

It is every leader's goal to stretch their people and bring out their creativity and greatness but this must be done in a way that will not stress their people and lead them to an unhealthy lifestyle of constant daze and bewilderment. Men are not machines; they are not computers. Your people (and you) have families they care for and you would not want them to go home in a zombie-like state of meaningless existence but to go home proud of working for a leader that values her people.

 

The status symbol of being busy disguises itself to focus and drive you to huge productivity but when you examine your activities it reflects only confusion, anxiety and distrust. Slow down, reflect and clarify issues. Never reward your people (or yourself) for speed and action; rather, reward them for value of performance rendered.

 

People with a good balance of life activities are more productive and fulfilled. I hope you will productively use your weekend to evaluate and decide to take on the status symbol of productivity rather than busyness.

 

 

 

 

Reminders

I have four reminders for you as we come close to the weekend.  I hope these reminders will make your weekend a blast and will bring you closer to your goals.

Put God above all else. Things we love we will lose one day. Things we fear we will face one day. Sometimes God puts us in the dark to prove He is the light. And He is more concerned with our character more than our "success."

In this journey called life, we must expect to lose something or someone – a business venture may not fly, a loved one will pass away. As we thread to these inevitable situations, we cower in fear.  The best way to conquer these fears is in the arms of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  We can always run to Him for comfort and safety. Let our fears remind us that God is light, an all powerful light that can change our situation and our hearts, giving us strength to face the inevitable.

Helping people is not only through financial means. This is true around the world; many people are working in low paying and high stressful jobs. Leaders may not be able to increase their pay but they certainly can inspire their people and encourage them to become better, perform better and grow in their skills, attitude and character. Inspirational leadership will make your employees to be better people, able to overcome their financial challenges. Who knows, your encouragement and inspirational leadership may open the door for your employees to come out with other income generating endeavors or unique products for your company.

Do not mistake imagination for memory. Stick to the facts; do not try to create a livelier story by imagining more exciting facts. Stick to reality, no matter how boring it may be. A habit of exaggeration will make a person lose his or her credibility. In other words, do not lie.

I started with God, I will end with God. Every day is a new day full of blessings and opportunities. Are you caught in the cycle of re-living past mistakes over and over like a video player, stuck on endless replay? Never rewind your past mistakes; move on and turn your focus forward. The windshield is always larger than the rear view mirror. Learn from the past but move forward and explore the future. But do not let your most precious moment slip away from your hand.  Let the past remain in the past; the present, the here and now is your most precious moment.  Today, as the opportunity knocks, heed to it. Give your best today. Do your best for this is the best way to secure a brighter tomorrow. Chill! Relax and flow where the opportunity flows. Remember, God is still in control.

Here's to a blessed weekend.

Stress

Stress is a five letter word full of power. The rat-race competition, technology, busyness have increased the stress of life.  This emotional strain or tension triggered by adverse or demanding circumstances has invaded everyone in our planet and is invading everyone at different levels. Stress is very individual. What may be stressful to one person is nothing compared to another person. A change in your daily schedule may cause you stress but it may mean nothing to your officemate. Stress if not handled properly may devastate a person leading to suicide attempts or loss of sanity in extreme cases. It is thus essential to deal with stress the moment you feel it crouching inside of you.

To relive your body of stress, you need to move your body. One strategy to relieve a person from stress is yoga. Yoga relaxes the mind and also helps to relieve the tension in the body. If you are not into yoga, any form of movement can have the same result. Jogging or walking will clear your mind from nagging thoughts and ease your muscles.  

 

You need to avoid stressors – people or circumstances that give you stress.  We may not admit it but sometimes we unwittingly create our own stress. We surround ourselves in stressful situations or surround ourselves with stressful people. Stress can be easily self-induced; thus, can easily be remedied.  If you are constantly stressed you need to make improvements in your situation. For instance, if deadlines and appointments stress you out, give yourself plenty of time to get to your destination or complete your project.

Notice how you breathe.  By simply minding how you breathe can minimize your stress.  Taking deep, slow breaths can slow you down physically and mentally.

Huge goals can cause stress.  To avoid stress but still achieve your goal, try using the “divide and rule” technique.  The mere thought of the amount of work to be done in a day causes undue stress.  Compartmentalize these tasks and accomplish them one at a time.  For instance, lump home errands together and office work together.  Prioritize and start doing the work accordingly.  When we're able to break things down into smaller pieces, the smaller pieces become more manageable; thus, less stressful.

One of the best remedy to break stress is to seek balance. All work and no play will turn you into a dull person.  You need to relax to gain more energy to accomplish what you need to do. Relaxation gives your brain a break and helps you re-focus. Relaxation may even give you a better perspective, opening new ideas and better solutions.

 

Do not be unnecessarily over burdened.  You only need to raise a hand or ask for help and help will be on its way gladly. Do not try to do everything by yourself.  Ask someone to help you or use technology to your advantage instead of technology causing you stress. Use your smart phone to remind you of appointments. I have a friend whose phone rings every 30 minutes in the morning to remind her of her schedules in the morning. Again, stress is individual; some people may find this annoying but this helps my friend keep her mind on other tasks because she knows her phone will ring to remind her that she needs to move on to another task.

Do not be worried if you catch yourself talking your stress out.  In fact, positive self talk will boost your morale.  Tell yourself, “I can handle this!” When you agree and believe that you can do whatever you need to do, stress is left at bay.

 

Though I love this quote, "Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards", we should not take it too literally and indulge to bulge.  Deal with stress the right way and live a healthy life.

Random Thoughts

I make it a point to have a quiet time everyday.  It does not have to be at a regular time but anytime of the day or night that I can be by myself for at least thirty minutes.   It is during this quiet time that I usually have wonderful random thoughts; random thoughts that may be simple yet thought provoking.

Here are some of these random thoughts.

What do I really want to do and keep doing for the next five years? Studies have shown that clarity of purpose predicts how people do their jobs. When you know what you want, you become more focused and have more chances of getting what you want. Those who are not clear or not sure of what they want will mostly find their work unfulfilling. It may surprise you that most people don’t know what they want.  They think they do but when asked the question, they are lost for answers.

What is my greatest achievement? When you ask people this question, you will receive grand answers that will astound you. I built a business empire. I traveled the world. I invented the wheel.  But you know what? Man’s greatest achievement is something that is very close to heart. Winston Churchill said, "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me." My greatest achievement is having raised two wonderful children.

One of the hardest things to learn in life is to wait. Much of life involves waiting and many wrong decisions are made because of impatience. I remember the Stanford marshmallow experiment on delayed gratification.  These studies were conducted in the late 1960s and 1970s by Walter Mischel, a psychologist professor at Stanford University. In these studies, a child was offered a marshmallow but was told that he will get two marshmallows if he waited for about 15 minutes till the tester gets back in the room. In the follow-up studies, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for greater rewards had better life outcomes as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment and other life measures. When children are trained to wait they become more disciplined and are in better positions to succeed. This is easier said than done, but it can be learned and it must be developed.

It is extremely hard and stressful for anyone to keep trying hard to be liked. The important thing is to do good to others as if you are the “others." You can’t please everybody but can choose to be good to the less liked person.

When someone tells you, “That’s not going to make you win a popularity contest. The best response is, “I am not running for office." Say it with respect, kindness and conviction. Remember to put on a smile as you utter your response.  This will drive difficult people crazy.

Nothing quiets criticism like involvement. When people make things difficult for you, involve them in your project.  Think of creative ways to engage people; allow them to contribute so they can be part-owners of the things you do.

I suggest you have your own time for random thoughts because it will enhance your thought process, define your purpose and help you reach your goals.

Life Crisis

Have you heard of “quarter-life crisis”? I don’t know about you but this is an addition to my knowledge, to my vocabulary.  If we have the “mid-life crisis”, the young today are troubled with the “quarter-life crisis”.  My daughter says that this happens from the teenage years to early thirties.  It is the period when this age group goes through the stress of becoming an adult.  It is a critical period because they go through the motions of being unsure about their lives and their life directions.

 

When she told me this, I had my recollections. I too went through this phase in my life but did not really know or even considered it as a crisis. People my generation stuck it out whether we liked the school or not; we did not quit our job even if we hate our office.  We never thought nor discussed about quitting in anything that we were doing. We just knew that there is a certain path that we need to thread.  Life was simple back then; there were no complications or too much demand compared today.

 

Because of the rapid industrialization, life is no longer simple for the young these days. The stress of coping with the unending challenges that face them can be overwhelming. Businesses want more done and delivered at a faster speed. Success lasts only for a while; everything today is measured in speed. There is much competition today than there was in my generation.  The young today are exposed to the rat race more intensely than we were. Have you noticed that they marry much later or probably remain unmarried?  Stress could probably be the reason why heart diseases, hypertension and diabetes are common among the young.

 

I hope the following food for thought can help the people going through their quarter life crisis:

1. Great lessons are learned outside schools. Experience is the best teacher and life is a non-stop learning experience. Invest in time to process the things and events that are happening in your life. There is always something you can learn in everything that happens to you. And once you’ve identified the life lessons, use them; the lessons are too valuable to be wasted.  Use the experience to bring you up the ladder of your dream.
2. Your attitude and character are more important than your school education. When you enter the work place, no one will care about the school where you graduated. Your education may help you accomplish your job but your attitude and character will determine your promotion or demotion.
3. Mentors will help you reach your goals in life.  Make a conscious effort to look for someone who can mentor you.  Hang around successful people and learn their success formulas. Do not have second thoughts in asking a strict or harsh person to be your mentor as long as that person is exceptionally good.  We learned best from our college professors who were the strictest. I remember my college professor; she was so strict that she will embarrass students in front of the class.  Because of this, I studied hard and got a very high grade.
4. Be willing to accept corrections.  You asked someone to mentor you because you know that you will make mistakes.  You will learn only when your mentor will point out your mistakes. Accept the corrections humbly. Reprimands and rebukes are always painful but you need to get over these quickly; don’t dwell on them.  Process the lessons and move on; admit your mistake and learn from it.
5. Success requires hard work.  Most successful people work harder or they may humbly say they work smarter in their jobs.  But they work harder on themselves; they work hard to improve themselves. 

There will always be a crisis in our life. Regardless of which phase you are in, quarter life or mid-life, there is a challenge that you can learn from.

 

Take it from me, a single mom who is now in the mid-life crisis.

Think Out of the Box



The phrase “Think out of the box” is used extensively especially when bosses want to sound wise. The phrase has the common meaning of thinking of new ideas and to innovate. Are we creative and innovative? Does it make sense to think out of the box?

Are we creative and innovative? Do you know why children are happy and adults are not?  If you give a child crayons and ask him or her to draw, the child will immediately make something out.  But if you ask an adult to draw, you will hear several excuses - “I don’t know how.” “I am not creative.” “I don’t have time.” “I am not in the mood”. Adults complain, children use what they have and are happy to do it.

No wonder even Jesus said that we should have faith like that of a child.  A child believes and expects.  An adult doubts and is always hesitant.

Unfortunately as kids grow up their creativeness and innovativeness dissipate. Their creativity is not given enough opportunity to grow and to show because of the rules that we impose on a child such as,  

“Do not speak when not spoken to....”

“Follow the line....”

“Do not color outside the box…”

“Write down the answers inside the box…”

“Make sure you stay within the box…..”

 

Now when they start working, they are commanded to think outside the box.  See the irony? But the truth of the matter is that we are creative because we are created by a brilliant maker. From an idea we can create something tangible.  Our world will not be as developed as it is now if we do not have bright minds. God’s other creations (animals and insects) do not have the mind to create stuff from an idea.  In fact, they don’t have ideas.  But the moment you think that you can’t and that you are not creative, then you will be right!

 

Now, let us proceed to the second question, “Does it make sense to think out of the box?’ This popular business phrase requires people to create new ideas that will develop and grow their business. But before you can create ideas, you first need to define your business box. You need understand the objectives of your business.  You need to define the goals you strive for. Though this criterion in defining goals is quite old, it is pertinent that you follow the fundamentals of setting goals. Goals  need to be SMART -  specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and of course time-bound.  Then you need to execute your plans and follow through with it.

 

Always ask the following questions as your guiding light in your business:

1. How’s my finance? Cash flow is extremely important; it is the lifeline of your business.
2. Customer pipeline? Am I creating new customers while retaining existing customers?
3. How is my company culture? Are the people in my organization having fun and creating new ideas? Are they ethical and honest and genuinely happy working for my organization?
4. Business Operations. Are we efficient and effective? Can we cut down bureaucracy and get things done a little bit faster but with a greater amount of accuracy and effectiveness? 

Thinking outside the box makes good business sense as long as you first consider what is inside your box (inside your present organization). If you neglect these, your business will be in trouble.