Confidence of a Single Mom

Going through divorce and becoming a single mom is devastating.  One of the worst effects of this situation is the woman’s lost of self confidence. As we mourn and grieve over our situation, we punish ourselves and claim all the faults.  We put all the blame on us. We throw a pity party. As a result we lose our self confidence and when this happens, the more we will be in deep trouble. When we lose our self confidence we will not be able to rise above the issues we are facing.

Self confidence gives a person strength and the power to rise above the problems in life.  Life is a journey.  It is like walking on a road where there are different pavements – some are rough, some are smooth and some go uphill and some downhill.  It is important that as we go through these different pavements, we learn to maneuver and become better travelers.

You sabotage yourself when you put all the blame on yourself, when you wallow in pity, when you complain, when you blame other people. Instead of bathing into all these negative attitudes and lose your self confidence, you must imbibe positive attitudes.

Self confidence requires daily pep talk.  You need to daily proclaim that you are capable to accomplishing great things.  What the mind and heart can perceive, you can achieve. As you gain the strength and grow muscles of positive thinking you will be able to conceptualize ways to achieve what you have envisioned.  You will gain the enthusiasm to read books, enroll in courses, look for mentors and coaches. 

To develop self confidence you must learn to love yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself.  Don’t punish yourself for the past.  What is done is done.  Punishing yourself will not correct the errors or make the past right. Forgive yourself for the bad past; forgive the people who were part of your past. Accept who you are including your faults and your weaknesses.  Acknowledge these and find ways to improve yourself.

To develop self-confidence you must associate with people who are confident.  You need to associate with these people so that their self-confidence will rub on you.  You will likewise be able to be in their core of influence and will meet people who are like minded and will be able to help you. Being in the company of confident and positive people will change your perspective and you will start to define problems as challenges and opportunities, of which they truly are.

Spend time with people who have good and positive things to say to you and about you.  Make sure you look for people who are honest in their opinion and have a bright perspective in life. Be with people who boost your morale and confidence. 

Stop worrying and put fear away from your system.  Ninety percent of the things we worry do not happen, so stop torturing yourself and focus on the positive side of life and regain your confidence.