Teach Children the True Meaning of Christmas

We have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas.  The true meaning of Christmas will continue to be in oblivion if we don’t remind ourselves of the true meaning of the season and teach our children the essence of Christmas.

The true meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, is often buried in the commercialism of today’s Christmas celebration.  We get caught up in the excitement of the holiday and unwrapping our gifts.  Kids couldn’t quit thinking if their “wish lists” would come true.  To prevent the true meaning of Christmas to be totally forgotten, we need to teach children the true meaning of Christmas, the spiritual side of Christmas.  

Some very intuitive single moms, came up with the following ways to teach children the true meaning of Christmas:

Use the Jesse Tree to help children learn about the salvation history.  Show the genealogy of Jesus through symbols and use this to decorate your Jesse tree.  This is a fun way of teaching and a great time for bonding with your kids.  For instance, ask your kids to draw an apple to represent Adam and Eve then hang this on the lowest branch of your Jesse Tree.  Next ask them to cut-out a rainbow from their old story book to decorate another branch of your Jesse Tree, all the way to the baby Jesus being born.  For every ornament they draw, cut-out or make, tell them the story and the importance of the symbols.

Instead of the usual bed-time story books that you read to your kids, get a Bible story book for your children.  They would love to hear the adventures of Noah, Moses, David, Samson and more.  Get them excited by reading portions of the adventures every night.  Make the birth of Jesus Christ your finale emphasizing its importance, saying that Jesus came to gift us with eternal life and nothing can ever compare to this gift.  Receiving Christmas physical gifts on Christmas day is a bonus but the gift of eternal life, the sacrifice of Jesus is the utmost gift anyone can receive.

Let your creative juices flow and build a manger with your children.  Make it more meaningful by allowing your kids to “add comfort” to baby Jesus by allowing them to add straws on the manger every time they do a good deed.  Get a cardboard box large enough to fit a baby Jesus doll.  Put some straws on it and then let the fun begin as your kids try to be good to enable them to add more straws on the manager.  On Christmas Eve put all the ornaments – baby Jesus on the manager, Mary, Joseph, the shepherds and sheep, and the three kings.

Lull your kids to sleep with old-time Christmas songs like Silent Night, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, O Holy Night, etc. On your bonding time, watch Christmas movies such as The Polar Express, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (animated version), etc.

Make the Christmas holiday truly fun, enjoyable, entertaining and full of the true meaning of the season.

Can You Do Two Things at the Same Time?

Can you do two things at the same time?  In our world and age, people would say “yes” because this is how they understand multitasking and most of us believe that we need to multitask to survive in our fast-pace world.  Moms, especially single moms, are known to be experts in this field.  But seriously, if you consider the pros and cons of what the experts say, is it possible to do two things at the same time?

According to Kendra Cherry, author of “The Cognitive Costs of Multitasking” published at about.com, multitasking can reduce productivity by approximately 40 percent and switching from one task to another makes it difficult to tune out distractions and can cause mental blocks that can slow down one’s progress.  It seems that Philip Stranhope, more popularly known as Lord Chesterfield, a British Statesman and a man of letters, agreed with Kendra. In one of his many letters to his son in the 1740s, he gave this advice, “There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time.”

On the other side, the demands of today’s workplace require an employee to work on different tasks at one time or simultaneously.  Today’s employee will be responding to urgent emails while sending text messages to remind his co-workers of a task they need to finish or attending a virtual meeting.  It is expected from the employee to juggle several different tasks at the same time without losing sight of his ultimate objective.  A number of business leaders believe that to survive in the rat race, they must be able to master the art of multitasking.

I am inclined to agree with both sides of the argument because multitasking is possible depending on the task at hand. 

If you are a writer, you can think of what to write while folding your laundry.  Folding laundry can be combined with thinking because you don’t have to fold your laundry in a scientific way.  You don't have to work your mind in this task, so you might as well use the time to think intelligibly instead of flooding your mind with bad thoughts and heartaches.

You can relax by reading a book or watching TV while you set your automatic washing machine to do your laundry.  As most of the people in the business world say, it is mixing business with pleasure.

In our internet world it is common to see a family glued to the TV with laptops and cell phones in hand updating their status on facebook and twitter, catching up with families and friends.

Jogging while enjoying your favorite music.

Walking your dog while listening your audio book. You exercise, finish a task, learn or relax with this multi-activity.

Having coffee while catching up with friends on facebook.

Feel free to add to this list J

Work from Home - Internet Marketing

Lead Generation is Cash Generation

If you’ve grown tired of office politics and believe that having your own business is the best way to avoid relationship issues in the office, you may want to consider having an internet marketing business.  Apart from escaping office politics, an internet marketing venture can be done in the comforts of your home giving you the freedom of time to be with your children as well as the freedom to generate more cash for your family.

If you enjoy spending time in the net, internet marketing can be a valuable venture.  To ensure your success, you need to take the time to learn all of the tricks of the trade and ways to maximize your earnings.

It is important to know what your customers want.  Install a search tool on your site and track what your customers are searching. This will help you gain insight and information about what is most important to them.  With this knowledge, you will be able to create products and services that best suit the needs of your customers. 

In internet marketing it is important to reach out to your customers on a regular basis.  One of the best ways to do this is by enabling a subscription button on your website.  Visitors can enter their email address so you will be able to send them regular newsletters.  Make sure that your subscription form does not contain too many (unnecessary) fields to be filled-in by your customers.  A subscription form that requires too much information from customers will cause prospective customers to forgo their subscription.  At this stage (lead generation stage), you only need your website visitor’s name and email address.  You can ask for more information when these visitors become at ease with their relationship with you; when you have created your credibility with them and they trust you enough to willingly provide more information about themselves.

Your website visitor’s email address is sufficient information to enable you to create a constant communication with your visitors and help you build brand engagement and loyalty. So the more emails you collect, the more opportunities you have to drive traffic back to the various pages of your site as you are launch a new product, publish new content, launch an online event, or offer a sale.

In any business, customers or leads are the keys to success.  The beauty with internet marketing is that leads can be bought; of course the same is true with other businesses but in internet marketing lead buying is more common or it is more acceptable.  If you choose to buy leads, you must make sure that your source is credible and that the leads are quality leads.  The lead must conform to what you want your ideal customer to be.

Little Ticket to Wealthhttp://www.littletickettowealth.com/?id=Cashtill is the best lead generation in the market.  It offers all kinds of leads for any industry.  On top of that it offers earnings via affiliate marketing (another venture to consider if you are thinking of escaping relationship problems in the office). 

Of course you can do lead generation the traditional or the hard way like getting listed in local business directories  or doing online marketing such as creating a video online.  If you can create a viral video, that will be the best way to get more traffic to your site and engage with your ideal customer.  You can also create blogs which you need to update with quality content on a regular basis.  You can also engage with your customers via social media. 

If you are seriously thinking to doing internet marketing to avoid office politics, have the freedom of time for your kids and freedom to create wealth for your family, you need to seriously study the techniques mentioned above to ensure your successful entrance into the world of internet marketing.

Law of Attraction and Parenting

We’ve heard a lot about the law of attraction. Simply put, the law of attraction means attracting what you want by focusing on it, by thinking about it.  Can the law of attraction apply to good parenting?

You catch your children fighting. You get upset. You tell them to stop fighting and why it is not good to fight.  You make rules and lecture them on the consequences should they break your rules. You turn your back and the moment you do, they continue fighting.  

This is where the law of attraction comes into play in good parenting.  What you think, say and do to prevent untoward behavior of your children actually makes your child do that unwanted behavior.  

The law of attraction fuels attraction of like energy. Everything around us is energy.  Our house, car, gadgets and even our body is made up of molecules of energy. Our thoughts and feelings emit energy too.   

We are a powerhouse of energy, a powerful magnet of energy.  Your thoughts make you emit emotions.  Your emotions will either attract or repel people, things and events in accordance to what you feel.  For instance, if you have good thoughts, you will have happy or have positive emotions.  These emotions will then attract good/positive people. 

The law of attraction can support you in parenting. If your reaction to your children’s fighting is as described above – you get annoyed and irritated, you start lecturing them on “do not” – you are basically focusing on the negative energy.  This negative energy will then attract negative results.  Your children will keep fighting and you will always be frustrated.

Instead of focusing on the negative, you need to channel your energy to the positive side to attract positive results.  Our relationship experiences are determined by our thoughts, emotions and expectations. To have a positive relationship with our children we need to have positive thoughts, emotions and expectations of our relationship with them.  This positive energy will not only improve our relationship with our kids but will also be instrumental in growing responsible and good children. This will train our children to be in alignment with the positive things in life.  They will start to develop an internal or body mechanism that allows them to feel and enable them to determine good and positive things from bad.  And because of the good feelings that they receive from positive reactions, they will have a yearning to do as you teach and as you please.

You can develop the positive law of attraction when you focus on what you want, get your thoughts and emotions to agree on what you want. So the next time your kids fight, focus on what you want to happen.  Step back, calm down, think positive thoughts.   Then express your desires, needs, intentions and expectations to your children in a positive and loving way. Show them they are loved and accepted.  When your children feel these positive emotions, they will respond in a positive way. They will then cooperate to the achievement of your desires for a loving family, living harmoniously and peacefully with one another, giving respect and cooperation.

The law of attraction will make our relationships work with our children if we envision love, peace and harmony so that we attract the same emotions from our children.

 

Sef Love

Most single moms are guilty of this… they do not love themselves or they love themselves less.  They probably are consumed by loving others, most specially their children, that they forego of self love.

Self love is one of the most essential ingredients to success in all areas of life – career, relationships, health, finance, etc. Self love means accepting yourself and  believing in yourself.  It means recognizing that you are good and that you deserve the good things that life has to offer. Self love brings about confidence and a calm spirit.

People who inhibit self love find peace, joy and success.  On the other hand people who have low self esteem and a negative perception of themselves are never successful and are not contented.   

If you feel that you love yourself less, here are some ways to help you love yourself more, enjoy life and live fulfilled everyday:

1.  Appreciate your body.  Sure, no one is perfect.  If you can’t appreciate your outward appearance, appreciate your inward self.  Appreciate your intelligence, your compassion, your kindness.  Appreciate your attitude.  Appreciate how well your internal organs are functioning. Appreciate how well you converse.  Physical appearance, for instance excess pounds, a not so perfect nose, a flat chest, a difficult to manage hair, etc., will cause you to dislike yourself.  But if look for other things to appreciate your body and do this daily, positive energy will flow and draw you towards self love.
2. Reminisce good times and dwell on these.  Think of these moments and focus your attention to your feelings at those good times.  This will  create a positive energy that will set a new energy pattern in motion.
3. Don’t let petty things steal your composure. Did you know that chronic annoyance and irritation is toxic to the cells of our body and depletes us of energy?  So, the next time a driver cuts you, let it be.  Forgive and don’t let that minor incident destroy your composure and deplete you of your much needed positive energy.  Remember that your negative reaction will affect you and not that driver. Remember, you need to love yourself more.  Do everything to preserve your mind and body. As you do this on a daily basis, you will notice that you start attracting more of the positive things and events.
4. Enjoy, have fun. Do something that you enjoy everyday.  If you are too busy, just spare 15 minutes everyday to do what you love to do.  It could be a short walk in the park, watching a favorite sitcom, reading a book, writing, calling a friend. Whatever it is, give yourself at least 15 minutes a day to do what you love to do.   Give yourself a break.  Enjoy the fun,  be thrilled by the excitement of looking forward to this special time for yourself.  Do not feel guilty about giving yourself time to enjoy on a daily basis.
5. Love and appreciate other people and things.  Learn the habit of loving and giving appreciation. Appreciate the warm glow of the sun, the fragrance of a flower, the sweet and crunchy apple.  As you love and appreciate others and things no matter how minuscule they could be, positive energy will flow out of you and bounce back to you.

Confidence of a Single Mom

Going through divorce and becoming a single mom is devastating.  One of the worst effects of this situation is the woman’s lost of self confidence. As we mourn and grieve over our situation, we punish ourselves and claim all the faults.  We put all the blame on us. We throw a pity party. As a result we lose our self confidence and when this happens, the more we will be in deep trouble. When we lose our self confidence we will not be able to rise above the issues we are facing.

Self confidence gives a person strength and the power to rise above the problems in life.  Life is a journey.  It is like walking on a road where there are different pavements – some are rough, some are smooth and some go uphill and some downhill.  It is important that as we go through these different pavements, we learn to maneuver and become better travelers.

You sabotage yourself when you put all the blame on yourself, when you wallow in pity, when you complain, when you blame other people. Instead of bathing into all these negative attitudes and lose your self confidence, you must imbibe positive attitudes.

Self confidence requires daily pep talk.  You need to daily proclaim that you are capable to accomplishing great things.  What the mind and heart can perceive, you can achieve. As you gain the strength and grow muscles of positive thinking you will be able to conceptualize ways to achieve what you have envisioned.  You will gain the enthusiasm to read books, enroll in courses, look for mentors and coaches. 

To develop self confidence you must learn to love yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself.  Don’t punish yourself for the past.  What is done is done.  Punishing yourself will not correct the errors or make the past right. Forgive yourself for the bad past; forgive the people who were part of your past. Accept who you are including your faults and your weaknesses.  Acknowledge these and find ways to improve yourself.

To develop self-confidence you must associate with people who are confident.  You need to associate with these people so that their self-confidence will rub on you.  You will likewise be able to be in their core of influence and will meet people who are like minded and will be able to help you. Being in the company of confident and positive people will change your perspective and you will start to define problems as challenges and opportunities, of which they truly are.

Spend time with people who have good and positive things to say to you and about you.  Make sure you look for people who are honest in their opinion and have a bright perspective in life. Be with people who boost your morale and confidence. 

Stop worrying and put fear away from your system.  Ninety percent of the things we worry do not happen, so stop torturing yourself and focus on the positive side of life and regain your confidence.

Do You Feel Responsible?

Do you feel responsible for what happens in your life? Or do you believe that what happens in your life is outside your control? Do you feel you cannot do anything about it?

I can’t emphasize it more…the life of a single mom is difficult. At the initial stage there will be a lot of passing on the blame.  You blame the environment, your family, your ex and everything else except you. Have you ever considered that you were part of the problem? Have you considered that you were responsible for what has taken place? It could be that you were not responsible for the entire situation but you took part in it. You are responsible for allowing yourself to be a victim. You are responsible for not  taking action or immediately taking an action. You are responsible for your response.

Psychologists say that people who take responsibility for what happens in their life inhibit the internal locus of control, while those who blame others when something goes wrong in their life inhibit the external locus of control. Research reveals that people who inhibit the internal locus of control or those who take a personal responsibility on what happens in their life are more content. They are able to move on after the bad event. They are likely to learn from the bad things that happened in their life; they grow, mature and improve. They become stronger in facing the struggles in life and become a source of inspiration to others. They are able to impact the lives of other people; not just their own families.

To take responsibility for what happens in your life is a choice; it is one of the many choices that life offers.  Taking responsibility for what happens in your life doesn’t mean that you are in control of your life. No human being can be in control of everything. Only God is in control of everything.

To take responsibility means being responsible for yourself and the choices that you make. It means being responsible for your actions in the specific situation you are in. To take responsibility means acknowledging your mistakes and learning from these mistakes.

Do not put the blame on other people for what has happened to you. Rather, acknowledge that you had a part in it. Regardless of the degree of your participation, you took part in it. Learn to accept the responsibility for the things you can control. This will accelerate your learning process. This will accelerate the true healing process. This will help you forgive and will help you move on. 

Help Your Kids Become Successful

If there is one thing common to all moms, it is the fact that we all want our kids to be successful.  The success of our kids is the desire of any normal parent.  It is not enough that we wish and pray for their success.  You need to help your kids become successful. You need to teach them how to become successful.  As I always say, when teaching a child you need to start them young. 

Help your kids become successful by encouraging them to dream. Motivate your child to dream and plan the way to the fulfillment of that dream. Help him to prepare a roadmap for success. A good plan will not ensure one’s success unless the plan is implemented. Be his accountability partner in following that plan.  

Help your kids become successful by teaching them to stand on their own.  Don’t do everything for them or don’t give them everything they want. They must take part in the work at home, be responsible for the tasks assigned to them and be accountable should there be issues on the responsibilities assigned to them.  If they have been asking you for a toy or a gadget, tell them that they have to earn it.  Either they work for you or they work for a neighbor or somebody else.  Do not always be their knight in shining armor.  Allow them to experience hardship and to stand on their own. 

Help your kids become successful by teaching them the value of discipline.  They must have discipline in their studies. Encourage them to study their lessons as education is one of the tools they need to become successful.   

Help your kids become successful by teaching them respect.  Teach them to respect other’s opinion. Teach them to be courteous and to listen when somebody is talking. When you respect people they will like you more and will most likely support you in your endeavor. 

Being respectful will help your kids develop their listening skills, a very important component of success.  When we listen, we gain wisdom from wise and experienced people. Listening also develops another important ingredient to success – patience.  Patience is a virtue.  Patience will lead us to success because patience will help us to wait for the right moment and therefore avoid any move or action that could be detrimental to one’s success.  

Helping your kids become successful is like managing a business.  A business is expected grow and prosper.  To make this possible, we need to invest in a business.  The way we act and speak, how we dress, how we treat ourselves and how we respond to others will determine the  success  of our business.  

If we invest in a business, the more that we must invest in helping our kids become successful.  We must nourish, teach, encourage, and guide our kids so that they will seek to be well-informed before making choices and be able to make sound decisions. We need to ensure that how we act and speak to our children, how we treat and respond to them will be in ways that will contribute to their success.

Say Goodbye to Disappointment

Disappointment is a fact of life.  You may even experience being disappointed everyday.  Bad luck may seem to invite even more bad luck causing your disappointment to escalate – your coffee maker gets busted, on your way to the office your car broke down, you lost a client, etc.  Though disappointment is a fact of life, you don’t have to let it own you.  You should be able to say goodbye to disappointment.  You should find a way to get by. How? 

 

Be sure you have a network of support.  Your network could be your family and friends.  They are there to help you improve your self control and become your accountability partner.  When bad news strikes you can call your support group to simply share the bad news.  They will then give valuable insights on how you should handle the disappointment.  They will be your accountability partner to ensure that you are practicing proper handling of disappointments. 

 

They will be there (physically, if needed), they will be listening and they will be positive.  Your support group provides a shoulder to cry on.  Sometimes disappointment is best handled just be telling it to someone.  That someone else does not have to do anything, but listen.  When your support group talks, it should only be positive.  The worst thing to hear when your are disappointed is a negative comment.  If you get a bad report from your doctor, you wouldn’t want to hear your support group say that the statistics of those dying from cancer is 80%.  You must be choosy of your support group.  They must be people who can provide positive words and encouragement when you are disappointed.  They should be able to give you a pep talk and advice.

 

One of the best ways to handle disappointment is to commune with God. Studies reveal that people who are more spiritual are able to handle disappointments better than those who do not have a relationship with God.  Pray because God answers prayers.  Sometimes the answer may not be what you are asking for, sometimes the answer does not come when you want it.  But God is an all knowing God.  He knows what is best for you and that is what He provides.

Saying goodbye to disappointment does not happen overnight.  It takes practice to perfect any endeavor.  When you feel disappointed, force a smile on your face.  Though this will not erase your disappointment your ability to control your outward appearance is the start of your ability to control your reaction to a disappointing circumstance in your life.

Say goodbye to disappointment and do not let it ruin your life.  Life is like a roller coaster; there are ups and downs.  If it were not for these ups and downs you wouldn’t know the difference of being happy and being in control of your disappointments.

 

Perseverance

Perseverance is a huge word with huge potential to help our children succeed.  Teaching perseverance to children is difficult especially when you are a single mom. In most cases, your words will fall on deaf ears because their attention is elsewhere.  And as they mature, their ears are more attuned to the advice of their peers.  They may look respectful by keeping their eyes on you (and may appear to be attentively listening) as you lecture them, but do not be deceived; their thoughts are elsewhere.

However as a single mom, you must do everything in your capacity to nurture you children to become the best that they can be.  Teaching them to be persistent is one of the best ways to help them become successful.

Probably one of the world’s most admired speeches was the one given by Winston Churchill to the graduating students of Oxford University. This speech is most remembered because of its brevity and impact. The speech was very concise and it left the students dumbfounded. Its brevity left the students thinking deeper into its meaning and the richness of its content. Winston Churchill went up the rostrum amidst the cheering crowd, cleared his throat and in a strong, firm voice shouted “Never give up!” He paused for a few seconds studying the anticipating crowd, then shouted again “Never give up!” He then stepped down from the rostrum satisfied that he was able to impart to the graduating students the message they needed to succeed. If Winston Churchill did not develop a connection with these graduating students, do you think his three-word speech would have made an impact?

Nurturing your children to become the best that they can be requires connecting with them.  Connecting with your children starts from their young age.  That means you need to invest in time.  Spend time with them nurturing them to persevere in life.

Spend time with them explaining the meaning of perseverance; that perseverance means not giving up but hanging on. Say for instance that you are persevering in teaching them. That no matter how long it takes or how many repetitions it takes, you will not give up on them. Practice what you preach; model it. Before you begin a task, make sure that your child overhears you say “I will succeed”, “I will persevere”. Example is the best teacher.

When they work hard to accomplish say a lesson, point out that that is perseverance. Help them  to focus on their goal.  They may fail, say in a school examination, but encourage them to keep studying their lessons.  In fact, help them in their lesson.  Teach them that they need to persevere to get good grades, finish their education to have a good job or a good business.

Increase your child’s positive phrases – “I can do it!”, “I’ll try again”, “I won’t quit”, “I will manage”, “I will not give up”, “I will overcome”. Encouragement and motivation is just like taking a bath. You need to encourage and motivate your child daily to help him persevere.

Make sure that your family’s motto is “Try and try until you succeed”. Remind them that winners never quit; quitters do not win.

Make sure that your kids are growing in an environment of persistence. Persistence will help you nurture your children to be the best that they can be.

Women Helping Women

Women helping women or shall I specifically say single moms
helping single moms. Who else can better understand us but those who have gone through the same challenges as we have? Some may offer help and encouragement but whatever advice they give will just be theories learned in school. Psychologist,
therapists, counselors will only be putting into words what they’ve heard from their professors and what they've read from books; but single moms who have successfully surpassed the challenge will be able to help better because their words, their wisdom is coming from experience.

Likewise, women helping women will be more effective because women are, by nature, nurturers. We instinctively nourish and nurture people we are in contact with. We are more relational; we invest in time to talk, to listen, and be with the person we are helping. Women relate not just to the person with problem but to her entire family and community. Women are intentional in developing their relationships with other women. As such they create more love, guidance and support for each other.

While logic may be used by other support groups and the opposite sex, women would always know how to respond to a woman’s wounded heart. They have the patience to just listen and keep listening even when the stories they hear are almost the same. A woman is not ashamed to show emotions. Women would cry
together. While other people may be oblivious to the seriousness of a single mom’s pain, single mothers are not. Just by the look on the face, the eyes and the sound of their voice, a single mom would know what the other woman is feeling and experiencing.

When women bond together and form a community, the achievements that follow is enormous. The impact of the community of women helping women extends beyond their group. When women bond together their creativity, imagination, increased strength and capability results to activities that impact society, the country and the world. When women bond together they achieve more than they ever imagined possible.

As the Bible speaks of older women teaching younger women, single moms can better help the women who have just began their journey as single moms. Women understand women better; single moms understand single moms better. When women help, teach, encourage, and pray for each other they enrich their lives with relationships that feed their souls. They find friendship and encouragement. They find someone who believes in them and will invest in them to help them rise above their challenges and make a mark in the world. 

All Things Will Pass

“All things will pass”, this is  always the reply of my friend, Leah, when asked the question about her and her children’s situation.  There will be a rainbow after the storm.

Leah is now almost in her 50s, a single mom to 4 children – the eldest a boy and 3 girls.  Her son and second eldest child are now studying and at the same time working in New Zealand while her 2 other daughters are living with her.  She plans to settle down in New Zealand with all her children very soon.

Leah is an upbeat person, you will not have a hint that she is has problems.  Leah is a licensed customs broker and used to work for a huge multinational company.  She later left her job and put up her own customs brokerage firm.  I can’t recall when exactly it happened.  All I can remember is that I never thought that Leah was having problems with her husband till the husband left without a word.

Leah’s youngest daughter was still a baby then.  So Leah was left to take care of her children and strive to keep her business afloat.  During those early years, her business was not doing very well.  But thanks to friends’ help who were giving referrals ,she was able to sustain her business to support her family. Leah will work night and day just to feed her children, send them to school and provide them shelter.

To keep costs to a minimum, Leah is the sales person, customs’ processor and collector.  She would be taking paper works at home so she could look after her children.  Sometimes, she will be taking her children to work so she could have “bonding” time with them.  Just like most single moms, Leah, was not free of parenting issues.  Her children, most especially the eldest, kept on asking for the father.  There were times when the boy will insist that he will go away to look for the father.  At times, he will blame Leah for their broken family.  But in all these circumstances, Leah’s response was “All things will pass.”

Indeed, all things will pass.  All things will come to an end and what a jubilation when all these bad things have passed. Apart from the customs brokerage business, Leah was able to open a complementary business, trucking services.  She is almost done with her doctoral studies and is serving as a dean in a university.

Single moms, all things will pass.  Just keep your eye on your goal, keep praying and keep working.

Understanding Your Toddler

I could hear your mind screaming…”What do you want?  I don’t understand you!” You were a toddler decades back but that experience does not guarantee that you understand why your toddler is acting.  You need to develop a positive relationship with your toddler to better understand his moods and tantrums make him obey you, and mold his character.  Understanding your toddler better will help you develop your toddler’s positive personality traits.

 

It is during the toddler stage that a kid’s brain develops into an intelligent mind.  A toddler’s growing mobility and natural curiosity fuel extreme activity that you as a parent need to control to keep your child safe.  However, you need to balance your control with freedom to ensure your toddler’s brain development.  Toddlers would pick up anything and put it straight in their mouth; walk and run if they can; try to climb chairs and stairs.

 

Toddlers start to develop a sense of self as they start talking, walking and exploring their surroundings.  Notice how your two year old starts to separate from you.  While walking in the mall, your toddler will insist that you put him down and once you do, he will run away. It is quite a challenge to run after these little explorers.

 

As a toddler develops his speech, he may sometimes say negative words like “No! Mine! Go Away! I don’t like you”.  Don’t worry, your baby is not turning into a bad child but is merely expressing his complex feelings into blunt expressions.  Your toddler has limited vocabulary and speech abilities; thus, he would blurt out easy and short words which may sometimes sound irritating. It is at this stage that your toddler will pick-up easy to say words from anyone so be careful to surround your kid with only positive people.  Make a conscious effort to review even the cartoon shows that he watches.  Make it a point that your relationship with your toddler is such that he is aware that you understand him and that your instructions are for his benefit.

 

Understanding your toddler requires a change of mind.  You need to realize that your toddler is smarter and better able to understand than you choose to think. Like any human beings, toddlers have inherent emotions – anger, fear, shame, happiness, excitement – expressed in sometimes not so pleasant ways.

 

Your relationship with your toddler will better enable you to understand your toddler and interpret your toddler’s sometimes awkward expressions of his emotions.  Your relationship with your child can help your toddler expresses his feelings and lay the foundation to a happy personality.  Your relationship with your toddler will cause you to understand him and help him develop into a socially adept person and develop a personality that will allow for a productive life.

Frugality Saves the Day

When nothing is free anymore, frugality saves the day.  Thrifty, being frugal or being colloquially “cheap” is no longer considered something to be ashamed of.  Today, being frugal is considered being a wise spender, an intelligent consumer.  In fact, I would bravely say that we, single moms, have accepted and have embraced being “cheap”. 

Today’s consumers have metamorphosed; frugality saves the day.   We no longer purchase whatever is offered by the manufacturers.  Today, we demand from manufacturers.  We decide the product, packaging, distribution and even payment terms.  Consumers today have a command of the market; we have the power.  The internet has helped consumers to be more informed. This consumer power resulted to stiff market competition, causing manufacturers to look for better ways to interact with consumers and get their hard-earned money.

Manufacturers vie for consumer reach by initiating consumer interaction using innovate methods.  Today there are websites and forums where moms can visit and join to get information on how to save on their purchases.  Coupons and discounts are becoming common marketing strategies of manufacturers worldwide.   The availability of this new marketing channel helps us stretch our hard earned money and get the most out of every sale opportunity.   Subscribing to the newsletter of your favorite companies and products that you regularly use could entitle you to coupons and discounts.  Some products that give this privilege to their regular customers are infant milk formula like Enfamil, baby foods like Gerber.  These companies will even send you free trials of any new products that they will soon be launching.  Consider investing in supermarket and warehouse membership.  The discounts will exceed the cost of your membership card.

For coupons, visit http://www.southernsavers.com/.  Founder, Jenny Martin helps moms to get the best deal teaching them the craft of saving using coupons and taking away from moms the time consuming way of doing this. She takes the hard work from moms by coupon hunting and working out deals with manufacturers.  She works out brand partnerships with companies like Aveeno, Recyclebank, Procter & Gamble, TJ Maxx, CVS, Piggly Wiggly and many others.

You might also want to check  http://www.passionforsavings.com.  This website provides tips on saving money with its free printable coupons, and helps consumers to save time and get hot deals for your family.  Some of its hot deals are grocery products , medicines and free photo deals  from well known stores like Walmart, Target, Kmart, Rite Aid, CVS Pharmacy and Walgreens. It also carries entertainment products for your kids like Disney ebooks. This website also features promotions depending on the season; for instance, it has on promo now the “Back to School” deals.  Today, its Back to School promo includes Skip Hop Backpacks and lunch bags and outfits for your kids.  Depending on the promo and product, they even offer free delivery.

For more of these coupon websites check out http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/coupon-websites

Remember, there is nothing wrong with being “cheap” because frugality saves the day!

Get Over the Pain

Hey there ladies, how are you feeling today?  If I could only use my magic wand to take all your blues away, I will definitely do so.

I just came from a meet up with one of my ladies and one of our newest members is feeling so heart-broken.  It brought back memories of my early years as a single parent.  Today’s blog post is dedicated to her and to all the single moms who have not yet gotten over the pain.

Break up can be one of the most painful experiences to move on from, most especially if you were the one who was dumped. It shutters your heart into tiny pieces, you believe will never be able to gather and put back together again.  At this stage you feel that you’ve lost your dignity and and your self-respect.

Because of the pain and feeling of worthlessness, solutions would raise your mind.  Solutions like begging your ex to get back with you or you might even think of getting a new lover immediately.  At this stage, it is very important to exhibit self-control. Take hold of your emotions to help you make logical decisions.  There are a lot of books that deal with rejection and grief.  The presence of friends and family who would listen and offer advice as well as make you laugh will help you get over your grief.  If your friends and family are not supportive (very unlikely), there are organizations/associations that can help you overcome this grief.  Most of these organizations have online presence so you can just leave a comment in their forums and advice will surely flood your email. If need be, seek professional therapy.

It is also important that you stay healthy.  Make sure that you get enough sleep and food.  Grieving will drain your body physically so you need to be strong for this unavoidable stage of your life as a new single mom. Healthy food and rest will help to balance your mood from extreme period of loneliness.  Staying healthy also means adding exercise into your daily routine.  You don’t need extreme exercises, just a 15 minute walk will do.  But if exercise is part of your agenda, then choose a program that you will enjoy like jazzercise, zumba or any of the latest fitness programs.

Above all, pray.  As you commune with our God, you will feel that unexplainable peace and comfort.

Welcome to the challenging world of single moms.

Single moms, you might want to leave your comments and advice below.