Happy Father's Day

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who courageously are taking on their role as dad and head of the family.  I congratulate fathers who are bringing up their children to be good members of society.  Fathers who are good role models to their children, happy Father’s Day.

I have been receiving “Happy Father’s Day” greetings from well-meaning friends and family since the year I turned into a single mom.  I appreciate the kind gesture for it makes me feel that somehow I have done more than just being a mom.  I know that their intention is to encourage and honor me.  Today, I still shed a little tear when I receive those greetings because they bring back memories of how I struggled to keep my family, my kids together.

However, I still feel that “Father’s Day” is not a single mom’s day.  Our day was last month; our day is Mother’s Day.

We can never be dads to our children no matter how we try to fill in the shoes of our estranged husband.  I also believe that it is not right to assume the post because we are not men, period.  Our children need to have a father image and this can be fulfilled through the help of other family members like uncles or even their grand dad; but not us.

Keeping this post vacant is difficult especially when the kids are young.  They will surely wonder why Father’s Day is not celebrated by your family.  When they are old enough, they will understand.  I am particularly touched by the daughter of one of my ladies.  When I asked her how she felt about Father’s Day she wisely responded, “It sucks!  At four years of age till I was 12, I always felt awkward whenever Father’s Day comes.  I felt sad that my father wasn’t with us. But now I am convinced that it is for the best.  My father walked out on my mom when I was just 2 years old because he would rather party all night than take care of me.  But over the years, the sadness and negative feelings were erased because my mom took good care of me.  I did not feel any resentment from her towards my father; she only has kind words and wisdom to offer whenever I asked about my dad.  Today, I only have gratitude, love and respect for my mom who did and is doing her best to make things work for me, to provide me with all I need be it materially and emotionally.  I know my mom is not a dad but I still choose to give her a card and flowers on Father’s Day.”