What Matters Most

Our society is plagued with a rising number of single mothers.  Several reasons can be attributed to this rising statistics from deteriorating culture, too much freedom, irresponsible adults, etc. I don’t want to start a hate column so I choose not to discuss the reasons why this statistics is growing.  I am more concerned with the solutions but unfortunately, I cannot recommend a solution that will address this problem in our society.  What I can offer, though, is an encouragement to all the single mothers out there.  I would like to encourage you to channel your energy to what matters most.  Stop feeling guilty of your situation.

 Stop feeling guilty for not being a good provider.  A single mom is, more often than not, faced with financial problems.  She barely can provide for the needs of her children; thus, her kids will lack most of the material things that their peers enjoy.  Though these material things may be important, they are not as vital as a parent’s love which these growing kids need to mature into responsible adults. Besides, most of the material things that kids nowadays enjoy are luxury things.  Your goal should be to provide the basic needs; this is what matters most.  Just make sure that you have a heart-to-heart talk with your kids to make them understand that basic needs and your love are what matters most.

Apart from finances, a single mom is most likely to feel guilty for not having a lot of time for her children.  She feels guilty for missing school plays and her kids’ sports activities.  If we will always feel guilty and sorry for our lack of time, we will only further stress ourselves.

Instead of nourishing this guilt I suggest that you build up on what matters most.  You will always miss some activities of your children; your schedule will never allow you to attend to everything.  But you have to make it a point to talk to your kids and explain to them your situation.  However, never promise them something that you know you are not capable of keeping.  Do not promise them that you will make up and attend to their next activities.  We both know that some other tasks will prevent you from keeping this promise. Never say negative things about your ex-husband.  Just focus on the present situation and your hope of making it better.

Your kids may understand and forgive you or they may not.  What is important is that you try your very best to make them understand your situation and that you are doing your utmost to make your lives normal and happy.  Keep talking and explaining to them; this is what matters most.

Life Lessons From a Dog

Do you like pets; specifically, a dog?  I like dogs; that is, I admire them but I don’t want to take care of them.  I would rather spend that precious time doing something more productive.  Little did I know that having a pet dog will teach me valuable life lessons.

Slippers, my dog came unexpectedly in my life. Slippers is a shih tzu.  My son has been prodding me to get him a pet dog but I had a lot of excuses from not having the money to buy one and that dogs are just nuisance in the house.  Unknowingly, my son took on a job just to buy slippers.  At first I did not like her but Slippers’ love for all us changed my heart.  She also taught me some valuable life lessons.

Never give up. I guess it is instinct; dogs never give up.  Slippers never gave up on me despite my being difficult.   She would always wag her tail when she sees me.  She would bark and run when she hears my car coming.  She would sit patiently near my feet as if to tell me that she will wait no matter how long, till I learn to love her.

My dog gave me an inspiration to never give up.  Slippers motivated me to keep trying till I reach my goal, till I overcome my challenges.

Be contented. Slippers find contentment in small things like a pat on her head, a short car ride, a few minutes of walk in the park.  My dog is happy in anything that we do together.

Slow down and count your blessings. Slippers taught me to count my blessings.  She taught me to find enjoyment in a few minutes of solitude during the early hours in the morning.  She taught me to stop and take time to enjoy her company and my kids.  My dog taught me that rushing to accomplish tasks will just stress me out; that tasks will not cease to exist. She taught me to leave the chaos behind and calm myself.  Her company kept me from burning out.

Unconditional love and devotion. I can’t think of any animal that is more capable of  showing love and affection than a dog.  Some people may kick their pet in anger, but the poor dog will still come to his master when he calls him back.  Such is an unconditional love.  A dog will even give his life to his master.  I read of a news story wherein a dog lost his snout when a car hit him.  The car was supposed to hit the kids of the dog’s master but seeing what is about to happen, the dog rushed and pushed the kids away from the  direction of the car.

Friendship and trust.  Slippers enjoy the company of other dogs. Seeing her with her canine friends encouraged me to get out of my cocoon and accept invitation of friends to go out.  I learned to trust again because of my dog.  She taught me that disappointments do come but you need to be positive and to trust that good things will come.

No one is perfect.  I am not a perfect master but slippers accept me for who I am.  On cranky days, I might scold her.  Though she keeps a distance from me, she soon will come slowly to me testing if my unholy mood has passed away.  This reminds me that I am not a perfect mother but I am doing my best to be a good single mom.  My dog reminds me of  that I make mistakes and that I should learn to forgive myself and anyone who has done me wrong.

Above life lessons I’ve learned from a dog are some of the most important lessons that keeps me focus on my role as a single mom.

"Wants" of a Single Mom

Happiness is living in contentment.  Contentment is finding the joy in the simple things in life from a simple house, job and vacation. Desiring beyond your basic needs and beyond what is most likely to happen can lead to so much unhappiness and frustration.  Nevertheless, there is nothing wrong with dreaming of the fulfillment of the “wants” of a single mom.

In the United States alone, there are approximately 10.2 million single mothers (U.S. Census Bureau 2012). Imagine the impact to society if these simple wants of as single mom are achieved.

The dreams of most single moms are really very basic. I mean, most single moms do not dream of grand homes, expensive vacations and lots of money; although of course, it would be nice having such.  We only aim to provide all the needs of our children and see them grow into successful adults. 

Happy, healthy and successful kids are dreams of all mothers, not just single moms.  However, the joy in the fulfillment of such dream is I would say double for a single mom because she is alone in bringing up her children. It takes a lot of effort, time, dedication, patience and love but it is possible to raise happy, healthy and successful kids.  Though our days are always chaotic in terms of squeezing in all our tasks in 24 hours per day, we must not forgot to make time to talk to our children everyday showing them how much we love them and listening to whatever it is they have to tell us or ask us. 

To keep us sane from our chaotic activities, we need support from friends and family.  We need someone to talk to and ask for advice or just someone who would listen to us. Because of the increasing number of single mothers, today there are a lot of communities and organizations for single mothers.  Even the internet is venue to chat with other single moms and be motivated with their success. Single moms need not be alone in their challenges. 

We also want our own place; a place to call our home.  It doesn’t have to be big or in an exclusive place; we just want a place where we and our children can feel comfortable. Initially, single moms will live with their parents.  Some will find a small apartment.  But ultimately, we would want our own house and a home. 

Some of us are also thinking of finding another love interest.  It is but natural that friends will prod single moms to go back into the dating world.  For those who choose to do so, there is nothing wrong with this as long as you take your kids’ interest before your own personal desires.  Also be very choosy and not let your past mistake happen again. 

I believe more important than dating is finding an identity and a purpose. Whether you are a single mother by choice or by chance, it is important that you know your identity and your purpose. You are a mother whose purpose is to raise happy, healthy and successful children.  You are simply wonderful.  Your past must be buried to the ground and put your gifts and talents to good use.  Look into your inner self and dig out those hidden gifts and talents.  Are you skillful in dressmaking, gardening, painting?  These talents may be your key to a successful business which will empower you to provide the financial needs of your children.  

These simple “wants” are possible to accomplish but if you are not yet accomplishing these, do not worry.  You cannot do everything but I know you are doing your best and that is what matters most. 

Mood Changing Tips

I was not feeling upbeat one day and no matter how I tried to practice what I preach, nothing seems to work.   I then decided to ask my ladies what they would do to change a negative attitude.  Not to my surprise they came out with funny (weird) suggestions that a relationship expert like myself would not think of.  But weird as these mood changing tips may be, I have a strong feeling that they work because I tried some of them.

Drink hot chocolate.  This does not have any medical explanation apart from the fact that chocolate contains caffeine which gives you a boost. Sip the hot chocolate little by little savouring its taste and feeling the chocolate run down your throat to your stomach.  Feel the warmth and smoothness of the beverage.

Bring out your awesomeness.  Put on your boots or anything that makes you feel special and attractive.  Put on something that will make people turn their heads.  Then go out to a heavily populated area and just flaunt your awesomeness and enjoy the attention.

Embrace your dog.  Your dog accepts you regardless of your attitude.  He would love to be around you even if you’re cranky.  Play with your dog, hug him and pet him.

Delete your facebook!  I dare you try this one.  But come to think of it, facebook can make you feel unhappy because of bad news from friends, make you envious of friends’ achievements or places they’ve visited, stress you out because of your desire to update friends of your status and be well-informed of events in your friends’ lives.  If unguarded your attitude becomes one of an unhealthy competition with friends and many other negative attitudes. So why don’t you just delete your facebook and go back to the basics of the good old fashion means of communicationJ.

Go nature watching.  Try watching the clouds go by and create images as they pass by like sheep leaping over a fence, dogs chasing horses or ducks swimming on a lake.   If you want to go overboard, watch the ants at work and create a script from their task of food hoarding.

Dance alone.  Have you tried dancing alone?  Your can choose your own music. No one will criticize your moves and you can dance to your heart’s delight.  You are the queen of the dance floor; a graceful, flawless dancer.  

Clean your house.  This tip will do two things for you.  One, when done your house will be sparkling clean.  Two, it takes your mind off your bad mood.  You chose and decided to clean your house.  With that objective in mind, you forgot whatever it was that was making you feel cranky.

What to Do when You Feel Down

Our mood sways – it may soar up but it could also go down.  What should you do when you feel down?

 

When you are in a good mood, nothing and no one can take off that smile from your face.  If you meet someone with a negative attitude, you can just shrug off any bad comment, but when you feel down, negative people can bring you deeper into a bad mood. 

 

So, if you feel down avoid negative people like the attention seeker, the pessimist and the perfectionist. The attention seeker will further drain your energy as this person seeks only to be admired and given attention to.  This person does not care about what you feel.  He only wants to satisfy his own feelings. He just wants to be noticed, listened to and be praised. You cannot be with this person when you are feeling down because your energy will be sapped if you give attention to this person's whims. 

 

Never be around a pessimist when you feel down.  Every circumstance is doom’s day for this person.  This guy will just push you down to depression. He will tell you that life is not worth living, your boss sucks, you  can never get out of debt, you can never be a successful single mom and so on.  Don’t let the negativity of this person rub on you. Avoid him at all cost. 

 

You wouldn’t want to be around a perfectionist either.  Though you should not desire being pampered, you should not be pushed around by a perfectionist who would tell you that your attitude is unbecoming.  Sometimes, we just have to allow a bad feeling to make us realize that we are humans.  Sometimes single moms are too caught up with their responsibilities that they forget that they are not super human beings.  We are so busy that we sometimes forget to “feel”.  We have to be honest with our ourselves to be able to deal with such emotionss in a positive way. We also have bad hair days and a feeling of emptiness.  A perfectionist will condemn such feeling.  Don’t allow this person to create in you a stone of heart. Remember that one of the ways to overcome the challenges of being a single mom is to accept the bad feelings and to deal with them.  Dealing with these feelings take time, so give yourself ample time.  Allow yourself the liberty of feeling down but don’t stay there too long.

 

If you have these kinds of people in your circle of friends, avoid them when you are in a state of bad mood.  Instead, surround yourself with other friends who are more likely to understand you.  Those who are sympathetic, understanding, compassionate, available and willing to either listen or talk to you.  Sometimes at this stage, you just want to be around somebody – no talking; while others would want to just talk so you would need a friend who will just listen.  Sometimes, you just feel like being alone; so be it.

 

But make sure you get up and trust that you will feel better.  After a day (maximum) of allowing yourself to feel down, think of all the positive things in your life.  Start counting your blessings – life, good weather, kids, good health, safe travel, family, friends, job, business, etc.

Kids and Chores

Single moms need all the help we can get; including help from our children.  When we ask our kids to help in the house, it doesn’t mean that we are enslaving them.  Asking kids to help at home is an avenue to teach them the values of cleanliness and orderliness.  Asking kids to do chores will help them become responsible adults.  Doing chores with our kids will strengthen our bond with them.

Here are some of the chores that your kids even the small ones can do:

Dusting.  Give them a piece of cloth (rag) or a feather duster.  Show them how to dust the furniture and other stuff at home.

Cleaning Windows. Your little ones can help clean windows with damped cloth.  You can save re-painting your home if you ask your kids to wipe clean the walls and doors.

Dishwashing.  You can do the washing and they can wipe the dishes.  Do not entrust this task to small kids as they might hurt themselves with sharp utensils or break your dishes. 

Folding Laundry. Teach them how to fold laundry and help you store them in the proper drawers. Your little one will love to play matching socks.  You can teach your teenager how to operate the washing machine.

Sweeping the floor and yard.  This chore can be done by your little one while your teenager can manage the floor polisher.

Watering the plants.  This is definitely for your little ones as they would love to be out and play with water.

Cooking.  This chore is more for your grown up kids.  They can help you cook by slicing vegetables, onions or anything you would need.  You can teach them to cook basic meals.

Setting the dinner table.  This is a chore for your little ones.  Ask them to arrange the placemats, forks and spoons.  

Asking your kids (especially the young ones) to do house chores can be fun for them. Talk, sing, dance as you do your chores so that your kids will enjoy it and look forward to helping you. Tell them that their help goes a long way because mom can have some time to rest.  Commend their diligence and their being industrious.  Praise them for being responsible even at a young age.  Teaching your kids to do chores at home will make them feel useful and grown upJ.

It is best to start them young because they would be more likely to continue helping you when they are older.  Teaching kids to do chores is just one of the ways of good parenting. The simple act of house cleaning will teach them important values such as orderliness and cleanliness.  They will learn to be responsible.  They will be learn to manage their time for studies, play and house chores. They will learn to plan their activities.   

Cash in Affiliate Marketing

http://www.want-exgirlfriend-back.com/

 

In these hard economic times, everyone could benefit from some extra cash.  Single moms, we just love this!

A fun and easy way to make money from home is affiliate marketing. Well, at least it's easy enough to get started.  To make affiliate marketing a steady income, you need to form a plan. Follow these steps to earning that extra cash.  

To sell products more easily, look for cheap (or should I say not too pricey) products but carries extreme value to the market.  It has to be something that people are looking for. Something that people can buy for under thirty dollars obviously require less reflection and less convincing than a more expensive product. Present the price as an excellent deal.

Take advantage of press releases to boost your internet marketing efforts. Using a press release is a great way to raise awareness about your business and to reach new customers. There are a number of online distribution networks available for sharing press releases, making it easy to announce newsworthy items related to your business.

Recurring visitors to your affiliate site will think the site is stale and not updated if your ads are in the same location every time they arrive. So in order to change the ad locations, find an ad-rotator plug-in to use on your blog or website to ensure that the scenery changes on a regular basis.

Read all contracts prior to signing anything. Pay special attention to any exclusivity clauses that may be hiding in there somewhere. It could keep you from selling any other products from any other affiliate programs. This could really limit you to only the things that this affiliate program offers and cap the amount of money you can earn.

Paid advertising, such as Google Ads, can help get the most money out of your affiliate marketing program. Purchasing ads that are specifically targeted to your keywords will trigger the interest of a proven customer base who is already quite passionate about that specific market niche. This should drive eager customers directly to your website's doorstep.

To get every penny you earn from your affiliate program, make sure that the company has reliable software that tracks all of your sales. Some affiliate programs only give credit for online sales, which means that phone, fax and snail mail orders go unrewarded. You don't want to miss out on your reward for landing them a new customer.

Be sure to pick a niche that you really want to sell in a market that is not too big. Look for something to sell that is really needed by a small group of people. When you begin with this approach, you already have a market, so you won't have to drum-up business. Just convince the existing market that your version of the product or service is the best one.

I found this product very appealing http://www.want-exgirlfriend-back.com/.  Leave me a message below with your email address or send me an email (fadenew@gmail.com) if you want to earn extra CASH.



 

Unearth Your Positive Attitude

Every human being comes with attitudes, both positive and negative.  Those who succeed in life have unearthed their positive attitude and any negative attitude has been buried in their old self.  According to Wade Boggs said, “A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results”.

If you want to come out victorious in this life of single motherhood, you must learn to unearth your positive attitude.  A positive attitude will give you the freedom and capability to turn the lemons that life throws at you into lemonade juice.

Here are some tips to help you unearth your positive attitude:

1. Count your blessings.  Every morning, declare that you are blessed with life, good health, sunshine, kids, work, business, friends, family, home, car, talents, skills, etc.  If it is raining, be thankful that you have an umbrella; if you need to walk, be grateful that you have feet or the health to do so.  Always find a reason to be thankful whatever circumstance you are in. Make it a habit to count your blessings.
2. Find the joy in the moment. Look for a reason to be happy in your situation. It is joyful to prepare your kids for school – wake them up and get that good morning kiss and power hug.
3. Vow to smile always.  Start in the morning. Smile when you wake up. Smile as you face the mirror to say “you look good today J”. A smile enlightens you and brings out that positive attitude that will make you enjoy your day. 
4. Choose not to worry.  Studies reveal that only 8% of the things people worry actually happens.  Worry causes emotional and physical harm, so choose not to worry.  Rather, expect the best but be prepared for the worse.
5. Forgive others, forgive yourself. Humans are bound to make mistakes.  Do not sulk in your mistakes or your hurt feelings caused by people around you. Forgive, learn from your mistakes and move on.
6. Be an agent of positive attitude.  A positive attitude is as contagious as a negative attitude.  Be an agent of positive attitude by influencing those around you to unearth their positive attitude.  When people see you smiling, happy and with a bright perspective in all circumstances, you tend to attract them.  Soon you will find people around you having that same positive attitude as you do and negative attitude will not have any room in your environment and circle of friends.
7. You are your own master. When negative thoughts start creeping in, tell your mind that these negative thoughts have no room in your life.  Command your mind to erase negativity and invite only positive thoughts.  Keep your mind focused on unearthing positive attitude and taking forward steps to your dreams and aspirations.

Letting Go

You are probably like me; you can’t seem to let go of things, of people and of your past. Letting go is one of my weakest character.  I can’t let go of a relationship that didn’t work, a career that isn’t progressing, an idea that seems impossible.  I used to spend precious hours thinking about these, regretting decisions I’ve made and beating myself saying, “what if?”, “I could have…” 

But that was before, now I am free of this attitude.  I’ve learned to let go and move on. Learning to let go allowed me to see new opportunities and experience more happiness and satisfaction.

You too can learn to let go and allow yourself to experience life more abundantly.  Following are some steps I took that helped me in letting go of the bad things that happened to me.

1. I learned from a butterfly.  That beautiful and colorful butterfly came from an ugly worm in a cocoon. The ugly worm did not allow itself to stay imprisoned in that cocoon; it inched itself out till it metamorphosed into a lovely butterfly. Leave the bad things in your past.  Leave all the sorrows of your broken marriage behind and look forward to the bright future. Feel and believe that you can turn around all the challenges of being a single mom something wonderful.
2. No to too much attachment.  I guess one of the reasons why I was devastated by being a single mom, was because I used to hold on tightly to people (and even things).  Actually there is nothing wrong with this. However, too much attachment results to extreme pain when we lose that person or thing. Everything has an end – a beautiful summer garden will turn into a pond of snow in winter, a beautiful relationship will have an end (natural through death or a divorce). Nothing is permanent; nothing lasts forever. Enjoy life at its fullest but keep in mind that everything has a natural beginning and ending. By keeping in mind that all things pass away, we become more willing or it becomes easier to let it go. 
3. Let go and let God.  You most probably have heard of this saying.  This quote doesn’t mean being irresponsible and being carefree.  For me to let go is when I have done my very best and if the result is still not to my satisfaction, I leave it to God’s care.  I know that God knows better and He has other plans.  Plans that I can’t see now but only God knows the future, so I leave it to Him. As an anonymous writer said, “I don’t know the future, but I know who holds the future”.
4. Care less of what other people think.  We, single moms, are most often subjected to criticisms by people who think they know a lot. In one way or the other, we experience stigma.  Our self worth is damaged; our feelings are hurt as these people spread rumors about us.  I know it is difficult to take their gossips for granted but you have to.  You can either confront these people or cry your heart out but none of these will make these rumor mongerers from maliciously spreading stories about you.  So the best solution is to forget about them; don’t mind them. Hopefully, they will get tired or find someone else’s story more palatable.  Caring less of what other people think will help you to let go of your past and move on.
5. Always look ahead.  You are not driving a car, so don’t look at the rearview mirror.  Just look ahead and focus on the things you want to accomplish.  Look for opportunities, dream and plan ahead.  Forget that you had a failed marriage.  A divorce is not the end of life.  It may well be the start of a more beautiful life for you and your kids.

True, the past can teach you valuable lessons in life.  However, obsessing and not letting go of the past will keep you in the pit of unhappiness.  Therefore, let go and move on.

Deal with Fear

Fear, a small four letter word that can destroy your whole life.  Single moms have a lot of fears – money, kids, the future and more.  They even fear that they will not measure up; that they will not be good parents.

Fear will damage your mind and body.  Fear will disturb your thoughts.  Soon you will notice physical problems like racing heartbeat, high blood pressure, ulcers, insomnia, etc. Fear can also lead to stress.

 Therefore we need keep fear out and let peace in.  We need to eliminate fear so that we will have peace of mind, body and soul; and live a more meaningful life.

Here are some ways to deal with fear and release peace.

1. Acknowledge and admit that you are fearful of something, someone or some situation.  Your admission will open your eyes to solutions to your fear. 

2. Get out of your comfort zone. You cannot forever avoid places, things or people that cause your fear.  You need to slowly get out of your comfort zone.  To deal with your fear you need to face your fear.  If it is fear of going to places that you and your ex used to frequent before you started having problems, you need to visit these places.  You need to experiment and test if you can now handle the situation, if you are already over the past.

3. Learn how others successfully deal with fear. We can use the methods other people used, because their solution just might work with us. 

We need one another. You can probably solve your fears alone, but it would be a lot easier and faster to deal with our fears with the help of other people. Our fears could dissipate just by talking about it with our friends and family.    

 

4. Grow in knowledge of yourself and your fears.  Knowledge is king.  Learn about your fears and problems; learn about yourself more.  What do you fear? Why? Dig deeply. Answering these questions will give you peace.  Understanding more about your fears and about yourself will take your mind off your fear and give you a new and most likely a better perspective.

Learn to Love Yourself

Did you know that loving yourself will help you achieve happiness and fulfillment in life?  Some single moms fail to realize this.  They are so absorbed with loving others – kids, family, friends – that they forget to love themselves.  Without realizing it, they also sometimes refuse to love themselves.

 

Love yourself and experience happiness. When we love and embrace ourselves as capable, loveable, funny, whole human beings, people will see us this way and love us in return.  If you keep beating yourself for your past mistakes, people will treat you as a loser.  The way we see and treat ourselves mirrors how other people will see and treat us.

 

We need to learn to love ourselves more, accept ourselves for who we are (faults, imperfections and all).  Here are some suggestions on how you can learn to love yourself:

 

1. Do something for yourself everyday.  There is no other person on planet earth busier than a single mom.  Nevertheless, you need to do something for yourself every single day. That something doesn’t have to cost you much or take much of your time.  It could be a trip to the salon for a pedicure, and hour to read a book, lunch with a friend, window shop, etc.  This activity will recharge you and make you remember that you are an important and great person.
2. Get encouraged.  Connecting with people, places and things that inspire us helps us to overcome challenges and better love ourselves.  I for one get inspiration from reading inspirational books.  One book I am particularly fond of is Mama Rock’s Rules.  Rose Rock, co-author of Mama Rock’s Rules and mother to 10 children and 17 foster children, specializes in preschool and special education.  She said, “Blessings are only good when you pass them on”. Rose Rock, among others, inspired me to share my life as a single mom.  Being a single mom may not be a blessing but being able to hurdle through the challenges of a single mom is definitely a blessing. I pass on to single moms the methods I use to overcome those challenges, making me love, heal and respect myself in the process.
3. Express your creativity. We all have individual gifts and talents. Give yourself time to discover your unique gifts and talents.  Harness and develop these talents then share them with other people.  You will experience joy and happiness as you do this simple sharing of your creative gifts and talents.  Knowing your gifts and talents will remind you that you are special and worthy of being loved.

Unlearn Depression

Everything can be learned. Even negative feelings are learned.  Fortunately, we can choose to unlearn depression. We have the power to choose how we should feel.  We can choose to be happy or we can choose to be depressed.  But why do a lot of people still end up in depression?  Did they choose to be depressed or they just didn’t know the steps to unlearn depression?

Actually being unhappy cannot be avoided.  There will certainly be times in your life that you will feel sad.  That is but natural; but to stay in that state for a long time is not healthy because this will lead to depression.  You must be able to manage sadness and not let it control you.

Single moms are one of the most likely candidates of depression.  Thus, I would like to share with you some tips on how to unlearn depression:

1. Commit to be happy.  Depression needs no effort, no work.  When something bad happens, you would feel sad and later if you continue to be in this situation, you will feel depressed.  It takes a lot of effort and commitment to look at the brighter things in life and to be happy.  Nevertheless, you need to commit yourself to happiness.  You need to choose to be happy and just shrug off all the things that cause sadness in your life.
2. Love yourself and other people.  Do not be too harsh with yourself.  Everyone makes mistakes, you are no different.  Forget your mistakes, embrace your failures and move on.  Do not put too much pressure on yourself.  Just do your best. Continue to love other people and you will find that the love your give returns to you and this will uplift you.
3. Keep your eyes on the good stuff.  Focus on the positive things.  When you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, redirect your mind on the positive side of things.  When you catch yourself thinking of your financial issues; redirect your mind on the future.  All things will pass and soon your business or career will flourish.  Joy is not about your circumstances; it is about your attitude.
4. Eat the right food.  Indulge on antidepressant foods like spinach, oranges, red peppers, wheat bread and a lot more.  What you eat does not just go to your stomach but goes to your brain as well. Feel alive and happy by eating lots of vegetables and fruits – foods with color to add vitality to your face and mood.
5. Exercise.  Suppress that depressed mood with endorphins.  Endorphins are neurotransmitters that are produced during exercise.  They have the ability to make us feel well, comfortable, happy, contented and relaxed.

 

6. Count your blessings.  There are so many things to be thankful for – your children, friends, you are alive and well.  Sit down and write your blessings; you will be amazed at the number of blessings that you previously took for granted.

 

7. Dream and be creative.  There is nothing wrong with dreaming big!  To dream is free so you might as well dream and think big! Write your dreams and be as imaginative as possible.  You will find yourself laughing as you write your dreams and aspirations (I sure did J)

 

8. Closely related to above tip is to believe in yourself.  As you write down your aspirations, you will see opportunities.  Write down your thoughts and ideas to make them real.  Once on paper, you will have more drive to work on it. Read it every day and find ways to make it come true.  Believe that you can do it and you will! You can achieve your dream.

 

9. Stop comparing. We are unique individuals.  Do not compare yourself with other people. God has endowed you with unique qualities, do your best to use them.  That will be enough, stop comparing.

 

10. Read.  This helps me a lot.  Reading takes my mind off the things that make me sad.  Apart from that, reading will increase your knowledge and understanding.

 

11. Again related to above tip is to keep busy.  Get hold of any activity or hobby that will take your mind off to the things that depresses you. Depression borders on being idle and bored.  Therefore, keep yourself busy so that the feeling of depression will not have room in your heart and mind.

 

12. Chat with your friends or family.  This helps you express yourself, get sympathy, advice and motivation.

 

Depression is a learned behavior, unlearn depression and be free!