Letting Go

You are probably like me; you can’t seem to let go of things, of people and of your past. Letting go is one of my weakest character.  I can’t let go of a relationship that didn’t work, a career that isn’t progressing, an idea that seems impossible.  I used to spend precious hours thinking about these, regretting decisions I’ve made and beating myself saying, “what if?”, “I could have…” 

But that was before, now I am free of this attitude.  I’ve learned to let go and move on. Learning to let go allowed me to see new opportunities and experience more happiness and satisfaction.

You too can learn to let go and allow yourself to experience life more abundantly.  Following are some steps I took that helped me in letting go of the bad things that happened to me.

1. I learned from a butterfly.  That beautiful and colorful butterfly came from an ugly worm in a cocoon. The ugly worm did not allow itself to stay imprisoned in that cocoon; it inched itself out till it metamorphosed into a lovely butterfly. Leave the bad things in your past.  Leave all the sorrows of your broken marriage behind and look forward to the bright future. Feel and believe that you can turn around all the challenges of being a single mom something wonderful.
2. No to too much attachment.  I guess one of the reasons why I was devastated by being a single mom, was because I used to hold on tightly to people (and even things).  Actually there is nothing wrong with this. However, too much attachment results to extreme pain when we lose that person or thing. Everything has an end – a beautiful summer garden will turn into a pond of snow in winter, a beautiful relationship will have an end (natural through death or a divorce). Nothing is permanent; nothing lasts forever. Enjoy life at its fullest but keep in mind that everything has a natural beginning and ending. By keeping in mind that all things pass away, we become more willing or it becomes easier to let it go. 
3. Let go and let God.  You most probably have heard of this saying.  This quote doesn’t mean being irresponsible and being carefree.  For me to let go is when I have done my very best and if the result is still not to my satisfaction, I leave it to God’s care.  I know that God knows better and He has other plans.  Plans that I can’t see now but only God knows the future, so I leave it to Him. As an anonymous writer said, “I don’t know the future, but I know who holds the future”.
4. Care less of what other people think.  We, single moms, are most often subjected to criticisms by people who think they know a lot. In one way or the other, we experience stigma.  Our self worth is damaged; our feelings are hurt as these people spread rumors about us.  I know it is difficult to take their gossips for granted but you have to.  You can either confront these people or cry your heart out but none of these will make these rumor mongerers from maliciously spreading stories about you.  So the best solution is to forget about them; don’t mind them. Hopefully, they will get tired or find someone else’s story more palatable.  Caring less of what other people think will help you to let go of your past and move on.
5. Always look ahead.  You are not driving a car, so don’t look at the rearview mirror.  Just look ahead and focus on the things you want to accomplish.  Look for opportunities, dream and plan ahead.  Forget that you had a failed marriage.  A divorce is not the end of life.  It may well be the start of a more beautiful life for you and your kids.

True, the past can teach you valuable lessons in life.  However, obsessing and not letting go of the past will keep you in the pit of unhappiness.  Therefore, let go and move on.