Are You Ready?

Sleepless nights, eyes swelling from crying, loneliness; how can you free yourself from this ordeal. Years have passed, but the pain is still there.  Friends and family have done their best to console you to no avail.  Now they tell you to get back into a relationship to help you heal.  Is this is a solution?  Are you ready?

Only you can answer this question.  You need to think hard and weigh your options.  Will getting back into a relationship heal the wound and bring back happiness into your life?  I am certain that your thoughts are on the effect of a new relationship to your children.  Will another partner love my child?  Will he abuse my child?

Step 1: Go Out on a Date 
Think and reflect.  However, you will never know the answer till you take the first step of trying this solution. I suggest you take the first step of opening your door to dating. This step is just for you to test the waters. How are you feeling?  Did you enjoy the date?  Does your prospect partner respect the fact that you are a single mom?  As this progresses, you will have a better idea of what to do next.

Step 2:  More Thinking and Reflecting
Now, you need more thinking and reflecting.  You need to answer the question, “What do you want in your next relationship?” You need to be honest in answering this question.  Are you seeking a relationship because of love, support, companionship or all of the above? Your answer will determine the degree of your need for a new relationship. If you want a relationship for the sake of financial support or for company, then drop the idea of a new relationship.  You don’t want a serious relationship; you only want a casual relationship.  You may continue seeing the guy but make it clear to him that you only want friendship.

Step 3: Getting Serious
But if you feel that you are ready for a serious relationship, then you need to further probe yourself.  Are you sure that you have freed yourself from the baggage of hurt from your previous relationship?  You need to be assured that no guilt feelings remain in your heart.  Do you deserve to be loved and give love in return? Are you happy with yourself? Are you capable of making your partner happy?  Are you confident? Are you sure that hurtful words form the past no longer haunts you; that these no longer have their effects on you? You need to be certain that you are happy with yourself and are confident that you can work out a healthy relationship.

You must be certain that you are over with your past relationship.  If you are harboring feelings of negativity or anger towards your last partner, you may not be over that relationship. You must be healed of these feelings before pursuing new relationship so you can give yourself and your prospect partner a fair chance of developing a healthy relationship.

Step 4:  Do You Have a Matching Personality?
Think of at least top 3 characteristics that you want from your partner. Don’t be superficial.  Forget about looks or finances but dwell more into traits that match your personality.  It could be a positive outlook in life, the guy makes you laugh or he brings out the best in you?  Does he make you a stronger person, makes you happier, and more confident? In other words, does he  enhance your life; making you better in all things? Do you complement each other? If your answer to these questions is a resounding yes; then, you have a possible match.

Getting back into a relationship may possibly make your life better but you need to make sure you are ready and this is what you want before taking the plunge.  You don’t want another failed relationship!