How Do I Provide for My Family?

I can’t remember when I first asked this question.  Was it while I was contemplating on raising my children alone or after I’ve made the decision to finally end a relationship that was draining life out of me? Well, I can’t really remember but one thing is certain, I spent hundred hours of sleepless nights thinking this through.

I Worried a Lot
I kept thinking about the future.  I believe I was very pessimistic at that time.  Will there be enough good and nutritious food on the table?  How about the other essentials like clothes, the rent, my kids’ education?  I can’t deprive my kids of the basic necessities in life.  Will they understand our situation or will they blame me for what we are going through and the uncertainties of our future?

Where will I get money?  Will I be able to buy my kids the things other kids or their playmates have like toys, computer and computer games, cell phones?  Will my son end up as a gangster for the sake of money?

I Had Second Thoughts
These thoughts made me cower in fear.  Sometimes, I felt like I was losing my mind.  I would have nightmares and wake up thinking of not pushing through with my decision of becoming a single mom.  I became indecisive.  I felt that I was in two corners of hell and I needed to know which corner is the less evil.

Prayer, contemplation and advice from friends and family cleared my mind and gave me the wisdom to choose what is best for my kids.  I gained strength and resolved that I can do this.  I can be a successful single mom and will be able to provide for my family.

How I Did It
I set out a plan on how to manage our situation. I need to train my kids and get their support as I start my journey to single motherhood.  Young as they, are I need to make them understand our situation and make them responsible and mature at a tender age.

I trained them how they could help me save money for the more essential things.  I inculcated in them the value of being frugal.  I taught them that there are more valuable things in life than the material things a person can own.  I taught them not to be envious of their playmates and to always count their blessings.  I told them not to be ashamed when I collect food stamps and wait for government hand-out.  I taught them that it is not demeaning to wear hand-me-downs.

I cried as we were going through these because like all moms I want to shower my kids with the luxuries of life.  However, I never shed a tear in front of my children because I need to walk my talk. I was a strong single mom as we faced the challenges of living on a shoe string.  I consoled myself, imbibing that material things don’t last but values do.  Teaching my kids to be frugal and to face the challenges of life will bring them closer to success. 

We are managing the scarcity of money because my kids understand and support me.  They help in managing our finances from food to shelter to their education.  They help out in house work so I could work longer hours to augment to our income. 

How I provide for my family is through the help of my adorable kids.  They are the reason why I stand, they are the reason I live, and they are the reason for my strength.