Single Mom's Social Life

No man is an island.  We all need to interact with one another and have an active social life to survive and live a balanced and happy life, single moms included. Single moms have a lot of reasons for shying away from social activities.  Time constraint, budget constraint, people’s expectations, fear of the unknown and fear of what other people may say, can be overcome.

Develop a correct mindset.  Quit thinking that since you are a single mom you should have little time for yourself. This is absurd.  Stop punishing yourself.  Do not be afraid of what other people might say. Stop pleasing other people; you cannot please everybody.  Regardless of how much you sacrifice, you will still suffer some stigma against single moms.  There is nothing wrong with having a social life. Having a social life is normal and healthy.  It will help you have better insights, expand your vision and wisdom. You just need to mingle with the right people.  Choose your crowd.  Do not go partying every night.

Have a positive attitude.  Just because you had a not so good past means that there is no hope of meeting nice people. 
 

Make time. Single moms are very busy so it is very important to include socializing in managing your time.  Socializing need not occupy a lot of your time.  It can be done monthly or even semi-annually.  You can do it on a weekly basis for an hour.  It really depends on how best it will suit your schedule.  But it is important to make time to socialize; otherwise, you will never get into it. 

 

Be real.  Sometimes you deliberately fill your schedule with work and children because you are afraid that your downtime, your “alone” time will intensify your loneliness.  You keep preoccupying yourself because you are afraid to have an “alone” time. You don’t have to be alone during your downtime.  Use your downtime to socialize.

 

Be creative in planning your social activities.  If you really have an issue with time because you don’t have anyone to leave your kids to, take them with you.  Who said that socializing means “no kids around”?  Your social activities don’t always have to involve adults only or dating. Your social activities can even help you develop your kids’ social skills.

 

Ask for help.  Single moms are used to doing all things by themselves.  Sometimes, they feel that asking help means that they are incapable of fulfilling their roles.  This is not so. Do not be afraid to ask help from other people.  Your neighbor or family members could probably be able to babysit for you and you can return the favor next time.  You see, this is the beauty of socializing.  You get to have more friends that you can turn to should you need help.
 

Choose affordable social activities. It’s normal not to have extra money to spend in social activities. Worry not; you don’t always need money to enjoy the company of friends. Of course your choice of activities will depend on you and your friends’ preference.  You can socialize and develop relationship with other single moms by merely taking walks in the park, visiting museums or window shopping. Have you tried eating “cheap” or excising together?  How about dance lessons and other cheap classes with your girl friends? Yoga and cooking lessons can be organized at minimal or no cost at all.  How about movie dates with someone close to being special? 

 

Stop rejecting invitations to social activities. Develop your social life and live the life you truly deserve.