Saturday, March 30, 2013

Count Your Blessings



I just read a short story on the internet about random kindness. A furious guy was anxious to get out of the highway and rush to his convention.  As he hurriedly searched for money in his pocket to pay his toll fee, the toll booth operator said,
“There is no toll for you today, sir.”  “Don’t start with me,” he said a bit annoyed.  Just take my money, please.”
“The car in front of you paid the toll. He said to tell you it was a random act of kindness — and to have a nice day.”
“What?”
“It has never happened before. He actually gave me more than what your toll is and told me to apply any leftovers to the car behind you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” 

The pressures of life cause us to be weary and take less notice of the good things around us.  We tend to focus on our problems preventing us from having a positive frame of mind and to calm down. That random act of kindness reminded me to count my blessings and encouraged me to pay it forward.  This is the reason why I chose counting your blessings as my blog topic for today.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and raising kids solo can’t be taken lightly.  These take a toll on our health, emotions and finances.  But if we focus our eyes on the difficulty of these tasks and our responsibilities, we will live weary lives.  Today, let us count our blessings.  “The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles” is an excellent quote by William Penn.

Let me list down some of the blessings associated with being a single mom.  Some of these could be funny but true for most of us.
1.      I don’t have to consult another person every time a decision has to be made for the well-being of my child.  This means no arguing and fighting, pouting faces or deafening silence.  I can choose whatever parenting style/technique that pleases me. Now there is peace.
2.      I don’t have to share hugs and kisses.  I get all the “I love you” I want.
3.      If the house is a mess, who cares? I can leave my dishes in the sink for a week, should I choose to.
4.      I don’t have to listen to criticisms.  No one judges me or my choices.  I don’t have to debate. I can wear anything I like without anyone critiquing my fashion sense. My kids always say I am pretty whatever I wear. I can love myself. I can put on make-up, look and feel pretty. I never get teased if I don’t feel like taking a shower (at times).
5.      No one steps on my self-esteem. I have time, energy and motivation to think things through without being distracted or affected by the opinion of someone else.

6.      I have my freedom back. I can read study and watch anything on TV. I don’t have to put up with wresting, baseball, football or hours of sports reviews. I get to choose my music.  I have quiet evenings; no more snores just the sweet sound of my sleeping kids. I can have long phone conversations without anyone asking who I am speaking with.  I can have dinner at my parents place whenever I want.
7.      I have 1 less person to take care of.  I don't have to worry about balancing my time to meet the needs of a husband and kids - less laundry, no dirty laundry on the floor (except those from my kids but soon they will learn to use the laundry basket), less dirty dishes, etc.
8.      My kids and I can eat, sleep and basically do whatever we want anytime. I can now share my bed with my kids, jump up and down to our hearts delight.  I can buy and eat all the chocolates I want and I don’t have to share Ben and Jerry’s.  Me and my kids can eat anything without anyone say it is weird.
9.      I can show my kids that girls can fix things in the house.
10.  Solo parenting made me more compassionate toward other people.
11.  I can buy or not buy anything I want with my money (though it may be not as much as it was before but now it is 100% my own). I am responsible for all the money and don't have to justify anything to anyone.
12.  No worries on being cheated on; no more lies. No more jealousies except of course if my kids take special notice on other moms. 

Just a dozen blessings but I am sure there are more from other single moms out there. If you want to pay it forward, why don't you list your blessings below and uplift the spirit of single moms.

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